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Andrew Woods

Andrew Woods

Andrew Woods dynamited opal in an Aussie mine, mopped up after a New York murder and flew 5,000 miles to interview a chimp during a 12-year-tour of duty in men’s magazines. Former Deputy Editor of Loaded, he has written for Guardian Guide, London Paper, FHM, Select, FootballPunk and FourFourTwo amongst others, whilst continuing to indulge his passion for scripting – and now illustrating – truly terrible cartoons and puzzles; which have appeared in Loaded and www.maxim.co.uk. The website is www.wellrottedmuck.com and don’t worry folks, it’s all been one hundred per cent focus tested. On the feeble minded. Tweets @andrewjwoods

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Andrew WoodsSyndicate

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Non-Existent Nines: Norwich City's Dean 'One Goal' Coney

The false nine is a fairly new role in football, luckily the non existent nine has been an everpresent, here's the first in our series of non-existent nines.

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Cardiff City Rebranding: If You Tolerate This Then Your Club Will Be Next

First they take away your badge, then they move your stadium to a different town and rename your club.

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Norwich End Of Term Report: Tranquilise Lambert And Keep Him Woozy All Summer

It was a season of great highs and not too many lows for Norwich, and if Lambert doesn't move up to Villa then we've got a real chance of repeating the trick next time around.

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Paul Lambert: Don't Leave Norwich For Aston Villa Wait For Liverpool

After successfully retaining Norwich's Premier League status, Paul Lambert is on Aston Villa's radar should they part with Alex McLeish. But Paul, don't go to Villa, wait for Liverpool to come calling.

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | TV & Film

RIP Ceefax - The Confessions Of An Addict

I might not be able to earn a living without the Internet, but it will never replace Teletext in my heart. The quizzes, transfer rumours, late night sex text and festive Plum Duff remind me of an age I'd like to return to...Ceefax has sadly gone forever, and whilst I might not be able to earn a living without the Internet, I will never replace it in my heart. The quizzes, transfer rumours, late night sex text and festive Plum Duff remind me of an age I'd like to return to...

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | TV & Film

C*** Is The New Fuck

You can find it in the works of Chaucer, Burns, Shakespeare and Beckett. Joyce and Mailer weren’t averse to it, DH Lawrence positively loved it and there’s even a few in Samuel Pepys’ Diary. So, it's no surprise that c*** is making a comeback.

Andrew WoodsSyndicate

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

AC Milan: Hat-Trick Hero Zlatan "I Left Cops For Dust In My Porsche..."

Zlatan scored a corking hattrick yesterday for AC Milan, and to celebrate his autobiography coming out on the iPad we got this ace extract and the chance to win the app...

Andrew WoodsSyndicate

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Norwich City: All Hail Grant Holt-Zilla

Immense against Everton yesterday, the big fella and his equally scary partner Morison are helping Norwich City batter opposition.

Andrew WoodsSyndicate

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

A Tribute To Norwich's Grant Holt And Other Fat Strikers

Big Grant Holt got the winner for Norwich against QPR this afternoon. Bet he celebrates with a pie and a pint or seven...

Andrew WoodsSyndicate

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Football's Halloween Xl

From 'Dracula' Leighton to 'Hell Razor' Ruddock, this team of ghoulish footballers would be good to have alongside you in a pumpkin carving competition...

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Norwich 3 - 3 Blackburn: Morison’s Mojo Is Risin’

Steve Morison's sweet flick up and volley showed what he's capable of and precisely why he's managing to keep Grant Holt out the side.

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | TV & Film

The Many Faces Of Will Ferrell

He's been a TV anchorman, an elf, a figure skater and a rally driver but now Will Ferrell faces his biggest challenge in his new movie Everything Must Go - being serious.

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | TV & Film

TV Burp vs Harry Hill: FIGHT!

With reports circulating that Harry Hill has turned his back on TV Burp, we pay tribute to the only good programme ever shown on ITV1.

Andrew WoodsSyndicate

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Norwich 2 - 1 Sunderland: We've Only Got A Ruddy Good Keeper...

Critics might snipe that Sunderland are hardly top notch opposition, but John Ruddy has been an unlikely star so far for Norwich City. He does the basics well and is part of the spine that has suddenly made the Canaries look a decent top-flight outfit...

Andrew Woods

REPORTAGE | Football & Sport

Bolton Wanderers V Norwich City: Why Wes Hoolahan Is A Luxury That Norwich Can Afford

With Wes Hoolahan shining in Norwich City's first win of the season over Bolton Wanderers yesterday, one fan tells us why 'Wessi' can really make a difference for Norwich this season...

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