Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

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Carl Anka

Sabotaging since 8 Aug 2012

"Flashes of brilliance lost in a haze of apathy" read his school report when he was 17 and it's a description that Carl is trying not particularly hard to shrug off. A writer on all things nerd culture and men's lifestyle and various sub cultures, he's chock full of uninspired observations and trite wisdoms. For example, his name translates to Donald Duck in Swedish. Follow him, @Ankaman616. He grows on you, sort of like a fungus....

My Articles

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Video Games

FIFA 15: Next Generation Footballing Brilliance

FIFA is back for its first proper entry on next gen consoles. Looking like the dog’s danglies and boasting better gameplay than ever, this one is a must have.

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Sex

Botham’s Balls: The Art Of The Dickpic

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right…

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Film

Boyhood: Does It Live Up To The Hype?

Shot over the past 12 years, everyone has been talking about Boyhood, but is it any good? One young adult and young father weigh in on the indie film of the summer.

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Video Games

EA Sports UFC – Flashy Knock Outs For Next Gen Consoles

EA Sports’ first ever licensed UFC game is heavy on flashy knock outs and graphical style, but does it have the gameplay to make it a true fighting classic?

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Food and Drink

How To Boss The Reduced Section At Supermarkets

Being skint shouldn’t stop you from decent eats. Follow my advice on bossing the reduced to clear section at supermarkets and eat like a King.

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Sport

Witnessing A Sports Phenomenon: Ringside At UFC London

UFC made a big show and dance with its Fight Night event at the 02 earlier this month, but has missed a trick by shunning traditional boxing fans for the television casual?

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Video Games

Dark Souls II – 2014′s First Must Have Game

There’s more to Dark Souls II than its fiendishly difficult gameplay. A beautiful, expansive, rewarding game, here’s why everyone should pick it up.

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Film

Why The Lego Movie Is Possibly The Most Important Blockbuster Since Star Wars

What could have been a paint by numbers toy advert to cash in on our nostalgia money, has turned out to be one of the best films of the decade. Here’s why The LEGO Movie is so sensational.

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Video Games

The Rise And Fall Of Flappy Bird, The Game That Caused An Epidemic Of Addiction

It was a free to download game that’s now worth £5,000 if you have it on your phone. Simple to play, and yet frustrating to the point where people smashed their phones. It’s the rise and fall of Flappy Bird.

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Life

The Problem With Banter: Why Freedom Of Speech Doesn’t Mean Freedom Of Responsibility

Harmless joke making? Or justification for hateful speech? It’s time we had a serious talk about the phrase “It’s just banter.”

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Sport

WWE Royal Rumble 2014: How I Learned To Love Wrestling Again

It’s big, it’s not very clever, but it is oh so entertaining. Here’s how I ended up addicted to the adventures of John Cena, CM Punk & co. as an adult

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Food and Drink

An Ode To The Nags Head And Other Great On-Screen Pubs & Bars

Be it on television or in film, a good pub has been the centerpiece of many of our best loved bits of entertainment. Here’s a tribute to the bars and pubs we wish were real….

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Food and Drink

A Barman’s Guide To Getting Served First

You’re a sweaty man into stamp collecting. Follow my tips and I’ll serve you before the buxom blonde who was there ages before you and is forcing her phone number on me…

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Football

Manchester United Fan: So THIS Is What Mediocrity Feels Like?

A child of the 90s, I’ve never seen Manchester United this bad. Yet with a squad worse than the dark days of David Bellion, I’m strangely optimistic.

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Film

Jennifer Lawrence & Why I Love “Fauxtainable” Superstars

She may be about to start a revolution in the new Hunger Games film, but we fell in love with Jennifer Lawrence for tripping up the stairs during the Oscars. Here’s why we love our actors when they are just a little more attainable…

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Video Games

Football Manager 2014: An Old Dog With Plenty Of New Tricks

The chaps at Sports Interactive are back to take all your free time and ruin your relationships with Football Manager 2014. And funnily enough, this time they’ve taken a leaf out of Fergie’s book…

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Film

Candy Crush: Why The 80s Were Comedy’s Sweetspot

Anchorman 2 may be round the corner but here’s why comedy films have never been, and never will be as good as their 80s heyday. WARNING: Contains borderline-diabetic levels of John Candy.

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Video Games

FIFA 14: EA’s Juggernaut Is Still The Big Dog

With ever improving rivals and next generation consoles right around the corner, everything was primed for EA Sports to slip up with FIFA 14. But like a true champion, they’ve returned with another flawless game…

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Video Games

FIFA 14: 5 Tips For The Most Anticipated Football Game Ever

I got the chance to play the latest edition of the world’s most popular football game and, luckily for you, I’ve come up with a few ways you can get great at FIFA14…

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Film

Ben Affleck Is The New Batman: Why You Need To Chill

Warner Bros. studio have confirmed the casting of Ben Affleck as the new Batman in the as yet untitled Superman & Batman film.

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Food and Drink

Five Guys Burgers And Fries: Burger Valhalla In Covent Garden

The search for London’s perfect burger never stops. Five Guys is an American chain boasting 155 stores owned by Shaquille O’Neal. Much like Big Diesel himself, Five Guys is big, unsubtle and ridiculously enjoyable.

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Hardware

Remembering My First Online Kill

First kiss, first alcoholic drink and losing your virginity are all milestone events for teenagers, but for a hardcore gamer they don’t come close to that first online kill…

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Life

The Tyranny Of Modern Mash-Up Words

Manscaping? Glamping? Why don’t you just come out and admit that you’re a berkshire hunt….

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Hardware

10 Of The Best Original Videogame Soundtracks

With Halo 4′s impending release, we look at other game series with soundtracks that have captivated us over the years.

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Music

Boss The Festivals: What Everyone Should Pack

If you pack the wrong gear for a festival, there’s a pretty high possibility you’re gonna have a shit time when you’re stumbling around at 3am, cold, wet, hungry and friendless. Follow these tips to avoid that.

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Hardware

Uncanny X-Force: The Breaking Bad Of X-Men Comics

Set in the Marvel X-Men universe, Uncanny X-Force sees Wolverine get together a black ops assassination team tasked with eliminating threats to mutant kind. This is the comic you should be reading right now…

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Video Games

Double Dragon Neon: Can The Updated Arcade Classic Still Cut It?

Before Streets Of Rage and Golden Axe there was Double Dragon; the side scrolling fighting game of choice in the 80s. Now it’s back on console with shiny new HD graphics. But does it’s gameplay still cut it?

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Sport

Table Tennis: 10 Tips For Success From British Number One Paul Drinkhall

Table Tennis is a sport where consistency and getting the basics nailed down is king. Luckily, Paul Drinkhall is here to talk you through it…

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Video Games

FIFA 14: Everything You Need To Know

Just when you thought you’d got out, EA Sports Canada announce FIFA 14 and pull you back in.

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Social Networking

How Hikaru of The USS Enterprise Became The Most Influential Man On The Internet

After Star Trek and the jungle, George Takei has now conquered the internet.

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Sex

No Sex In The City: Getting Laid Like A Panda At A Kigu Party

In an effort to break my dry spell I went to a onesie party Dalston dressed as a panda – an animal so poor at having sex they’re now at serious risk of dying out…

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Video Games

Injustice Gods Among Us: Superman And Co Duke It Out Mortal Kombat Style

Ed Boon and Neatherealm Studios (of Mortal Kombat fame) have created the fighting game to put an end to the “Who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman?” conversations. FIGHT!

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People

How George Takei Became The Most Influential Man On The Internet

It wasn’t enough for him to conquer science fiction, Takei is dominating the internet.

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Sex

How Tantric Life Coaching Put The Spring Back Into My Step

So repellent to women that I put watches out of sync, I took a tantric life coaching class. But can two hours of heavy breathing and feathers turn a man from playstation to ultimate player?

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TV

Black Mirror Series 2: How Do You Top Shagging A Pig?

Everyone’s favorite curmudgeonly television critic Charlie Brooker is back with three more tales in his twisted technology drama series Black Mirror…

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Books

The Strange Talent Of Luther Strode: If Tarantino Wrote Spider-Man

If you’re a fan of old school slasher movies, superheroics, or just a comic that is flat out fun, then The Strange Talent of Luther Strode is the book for you.

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Film

Metal Gear Solid Movie: Can It Break The Duff Video Game Adaptation Streak?

With a Metal Gear Solid film being leaked/announced last year and a possible green light on a 2013 production, here are my recommendations to help it become the faithful adaptation gamers have been waiting for…

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Film

The Top Seven Comedy Films To Come Out In 2013

2013 looks to be a good year for cinema. Here’s the best films that’ll have your sides splitting for the next 12 months

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Hardware

Take Me Out & The Walking Dead Boardgames: Live Meat Or Rotten Corpses?

Take Me Out & The Walking Dead are two of the most entertaining shows on television – each for very different reasons. But do their boardgame adaptations match the fun factor?

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Football

The Leeds Fan Blacking Up Is Offensive – My Skin Colour Isn’t A Costume

On New Years Day a 10 year old Leeds United fan found himself the centre of football’s latest race row. Here’s why it stuck in my craw…

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Hardware

DMC Devil May Cry: The Game To Spend Your Xmas Cash On

Gamers worried that the new Devil May Cry game will be emo guff relax. Here’s why DMC should be the action game to spend your January sales vouchers on.

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TV

Peep Show: Who’s The Biggest Loser, Jez or Mark?

Peep Show returns to our screens this Sunday and in honour of Channel 4′s funniest sitcom I’ve complied a duel off between our heroes Mark & Jez to find out who’s worse off.

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Football

My First Pair Of Football Boots

Ten years ago my Dad bought me my first pair of football boots – Adidas Precision Predator IIs and I absolutely adored them.

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Hardware

Grand Theft Auto V Trailer: Parachutes and Dog Fights

The GTA V trailer just arrived and it looks to be a crime fest of new proportions. Check out the teeth on those dogs!

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Film

Disney v Star Wars: 7 Ways To Avoid Killing The Franchise Forever

Benedict Cumberbatch has been linked to Star Wars Ep VII, continuing his relationship with JJ Abrams. Here’s how they can make it good…

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Football

Football Manager 2013: Just When I Thought I Was Out They’ve Dragged Me Back In

The world’s most addictive game returns and this time it’s hell bent on adding more marriages to it’s “35 divorces” total. Life ruiningly good and boasting new modes, clear your schedule, this one’s a biggie…

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Film

Stars Wars Episode VII: Hey Internet, Chill Out For A Moment

Last night, Walt Disney Company agreed to acquire Lucasfilm and is planning Star Wars Episode VII for 2015. Needless to say, a storm of nerd rage to rival Sandy hit the internet. But here’s why I think we should all just chill out; Episode 7 could be a good thing.

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Hardware

Eurogamer Expo 2012: Halo 4 & Black Ops 2 Will Blow Your Mind

Sexy Lycra clad girls with geeks, Dishonored’s deepness and why Assassin’s Creed is killing itself. Here are some of the conclusions I made from one of the UK’s biggest games shows…

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Hardware

NHL 13 Reviewed: With The League In Lockout, It’s A Good Job EA Are Picking Up The Slack

EA’s monopoly over the sports video games market has seen them produce a long line of ace ice hockey games, and NHL13 is no different…

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Hardware

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: The Most Fun 3D Beat ‘Em Up Out There

A generation of gamers were raised on the fight stylings of Tekken on the original Playstation. Only as the franchise grew it began to get flabby and lose the fun aspect. Is Tekken Tag 2 a return to form?

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Music

“Halo 4 Was A Dream Gig” Interviewing Soundtrack Maestro Neil Davidge

Halo 4 is set to be one of the biggest games of 2012 and I got to talk to the man behind the soundtrack former Massive Attack producer Neil Davidge about the challenges of composing music for interactive medium over film and traditional albums.

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Hardware

FIFA 13 Playthrough: The Best Football Game Money Can Buy

We were lucky enough to play FIFA 13 a month before release. Which teams are good? What exactly is its new “first touch control system”? Read on for our in depth videogame preview.

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