Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

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Daisy Buchanan

Sabotaging since 5 May 2011

Daisy Buchanan is a big fan of sex, telly and showing off, so writing about reality shows seemed like the most logical career move for her. After starting out in teen publishing, where she was chased across the beach by members of N Dubz, reduced to tears by Kristen Stewart and attacked by jellyfish, she became infamous for her Made In Chelsea Sabotage episode catch ups and authored The Wickedly Unofficial Guide to the show. As well as being “the Typhoid Mary of TV writing”, she’s a full time freelance journalist, contributing to titles including Huffington Post, Grazia, Look, Marie Claire, XO Jane and Vagenda. When she’s not writing searing insights into the human condition she’s on Twitter as @NotRollergirl, posting pictures of things that look like willies..

My Articles

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Lists

Amy Winehouse’s No Greater Love: Five Songs That Make Me Cry

Certain tunes have the power to reduce me to a big weepy mess. Here’s 5 guaranteed to have me sniffling…

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Hardware

5 Filthy Books To Warm The January Cockles

Inside Onan’s book bag… Filth on film may be the first porn port of call for many but the printed word can be more powerful than a thousand dirty images, particularly when you know which books to turn to…

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Sex

The Rules Of Shagging Your Friends

You can get laid with minimal emotional fallout, just as long as you follow these rules…

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Life

Why I Love Living in Filthy London

A riposte to our ‘Northerner’s Guide To Living in London’, here’s why it’s not all doom and gloom living in one of the world’s greatest cities.

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Sex

Dating Disasters: The Vibrating Squirrel

Remember that time at university when you were drunk and desperate and pulled a woman-beating squirrel exterminator called Dave? No? I do…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 6.6: Phoebe’s Shiny, Spencer’s A Pain In The Hiney, And Everyone’s Whiny

Lucy kamikazes Louise and Andy’s relationship and Mother Binky gets her shears out…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 6.5: Lucy Is Lou’s Pal, Spencer Loses His Gal & Phoebe Drives Us To Val(ium)

This week Spencer’s exes are ganging up, Phoebe may or may not have a boyfriend that she just went on her holidays with and Mark-Francis threatens to buy a house…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 6.4: Department Store Dogs, Proudlock’s Whittled Logs And Phoebe’s Inner Box Of Frogs

This week the crew take to the woods, providing more frightful sights than Binky without a blow dry.

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Sex

A Vagina Monologue: Disfigure Yourself For A Prettier Punani

Not everyone can have such naturally gorgeous and fragrant lady parts, so why not try any of these helpful products for a sure fire way to a world of self betterment and male attention…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 6.3: Alex Is In Binky’s Hood, Lucy’s Giving Biscuits Wood & The Offensive Pardy Theme Is Bollywood

It’s all kicking off in South-West London as fake rugger injuries, top knots and casually-racist dancing abounds…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 6.2: An Incoming Pratt For Our Resident Love Rat & A Bat (Shit Crazy Girl) In A Hat

Spenny’s new squeeze Stephanie upsets her way around South-West London, Mark-Francis hails down a helicopter and Louise goes full evil…

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Sex

My 5 Girl On Girl Crushes

From Maggie Gyllenhaal to Lady Gaga and Sasha Grey to Laura from school. It’s easy to hate beautiful, intimidating women – but it’s much more fun to want them.

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TV

Made In Chelsea 6.1: Lou’s Behaviour Iffy, Phoebe’s Hair Spliffy & There’s A New Boy Called Miffy

The first episode of the new series Made In Chelsea featured an unreasonably tanned Lucy Watson, a naked Boulle and Spenny in the psychotherapists…

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Life

5 Ways To Approach Women Without Coming Across Like A Perv

Grabbing arses doesn’t work, buying us a drink doesn’t mean you’ve purchased us and shouting ‘I WOULD’ is not the best chat up line… follow this guide to attracting women without being a tool…

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Food and Drink

Mussels: My First Time With A Shellfish Lover

He was a nice boy who loved food, yet being intimate with him was like sleeping with a horse. Eventually I fell in love with Mussels out of sheer spite…

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Music

Why I Love Abba

Abba are often considered to be the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. But what’s wrong with enjoying some the Swede’s majestic classic pop?

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Books

A Book Lover’s Guide To New York City

Got a big apple for teacher? Get your geek on – glamorously

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Funny

You’re Not Metrosexual, You’re A Knob

For the love of yoga, please leave the alcopops, talking about your emotions and special dietary requirements to the ladies.

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Sex

I’m A Feminist With A Vajazzle

Writing off fashion and beauty as silly, girly, unworthy pursuits is one of the most antifeminist moves a person can make. I decided to prove this by decorating my vagina with plastic crystals.

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Life

Tits Are Not The Main Problem With Lads Mags

Lads mags have six weeks to ‘cover-up’ or risk being dropped from Co-Op stores. It’s not the girls in bikinis that’s the real problem however. The real issue goes much deeper.

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Life

Britain’s Greatest Pub Landlords

Even if you’re in a motorway chain pub and eating a microwaved pork pie with your drink, a good landlord can make you feel as if you’re hanging out in a village that has won prizes for its flower displays. Here’s our favourite landlords…

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Fashion & Style

TV Interior Style Inspirations

Increasingly, we don’t just watch TV for entertainment – we look to the box for suggestions about what to wear, what to eat and sometimes how to decorate.

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Travel

The 4 Chicest British Seaside Towns

Why go to the South of France, the Balearics or Capri when this lot are on your doorsteps?

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TV

Made In Chelsea 5.11: Spencer Admires Stevie’s Erection, Oscar Faces Rejection & Louise Is Going In One Direction…

Made In Chelsea’s fifth season goes out with a bang…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 5.9: Biscuits Is Cheerful, Phoebe Gives Lucy An Earful & Alex Should Be Fearful

Featuring Phoebe with her claws out, Biscuits masquerading as a leopard and Lucy changing her spots…

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Life

What Men Think Women Want (And Why We Really Don’t Want It)

So, you think you know what women like? You’re wrong, you idiot…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 5.8: Spencer Wears Bad Socks, Lucy Should Change The Locks, And We See Inside Mark’s Black Box

Teenage kicks, mysterious boxes and acronyms…It’s all going on in Chelsea

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TV

Made in Chelsea 5.6: Spenny’s An Arse, Lucy Has No Class And Binky Hits The Grass

Spencer and Lucy have a c*nt off, Proudlock’s a snake, Binky gets a sympathy photoshoot and Louise and Andy defy the gorilla.

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TV

Made in Chelsea 5.5 How Does Rosie Fortescue Get Her Hair So Wafer Thin

Biscuits’ tattoo brings laughter, Spencer puts the moves on Lucy even faster and Mark Francis fears a floral disaster

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TV

Made In Chelsea 5.3: It’s Fashion Week, Andy’s Nostrils Peak & Louise’s Eyes Don’t Leak

This week in the land of the snobbish and rich we’ve got a very over the top fashion week that ends in gay porn, kvetching and looks that could kill a bear from a hundreds miles away. At least Louise didn’t cry though!

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People

An Underground Guide To Celeb Spotting In London

Visiting the capital and want to see some famous faces as well as famous places? Avoid the big West End bars and try these out instead…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 5.2: The Gang Buys Skiing Kit, Phoebe’s Fit & Lucy Doesn’t Like It A Bit

This week Spencer poses again as a human punching bag, Francis doesn’t want any bad blood with the gorilla and Lucy proves she may be London’s most evil she-devil…

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Books

Five Boys From Books I’d Definitely Shag

From Dexter in One Day to Steven Stelfox in Kill Your Friends, I’d let these fellas leap off the page and ravage me…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 5.1: Tears, Leers & Threats To Boulle’s Ears

So the series of posh snobs and out-of-work millionaire 20-somethings is back. This week we see an angry Spencer and a Francis that can “handle” him any day…

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TV

Made In Chelsea Series 5 Predictions: Sex, Bitches & Delicious Ostriches

After four glorious series, the one thing we can’t ever call Made in Chelsea is predictable. This season Daisy predicts a lot more sex and posh toff stupidity…

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Music

Girls Aloud: Farewell To The Best Girl Group Of The 21st Century

So just as they were back it’s over, but Girls Aloud leave a musical legacy to be proud of and we should remember them as girls who were loud, proud and totally shameless…

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Social Networking

Meet The Awesome Women Of Twitter

AWOT disproves the theory that women don’t like each other and, you’ll be glad to know, it isn’t all about cake. We ladies need the space to say whatever we like and at the moment, AWOT UK is giving us that space…

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Sex

House Of Holes: The Filthiest Book Ever

What with descriptions like “a thundertube of dickmeat” it might well be, but beyond the endless sex, House of Holes is a damn fine book about desire and exploration…

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Books

Green Fingered Writers: Authors That Created Gorgeous Gardens With Words

If you don’t have the time of space to create your own green paradise, a good book can always transport you there with minimal effort on your part…

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Books

Remember To Breathe – Sex, Despair And The Internet Boom

Sam is a late twenties Londoner who seemingly has it all. But a bad break up makes me reflect his life in Pont’s great Generation Y coming of age debut novel.

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Sex

In Conversation With The Sex Jesus

The world’s first State approved sex coach helps women rediscover their mojo in the bedroom, and has a list of high-profile testimonies that he actually knows what he’s doing…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 4.11: It’s Christmas, Boulle & Sophia Kissmass, & Spencer Feels Millie’s Fistmas!

It is time! Stop writing out gift vouchers for Crowns R Us, put your penguins and flamingoes out for the night, pile your plate with swan in cashmere blankets and get ready for the Made In Chelsea Christmas catch up!

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TV

Made in Chelsea 4.10: A Game of Ping pong, Andy & Binky get It On & Mark Francis Sings a Song

This week our favourite poshos sang creepy songs in Spanish, spoke about not telling people about one night stands (on camera) and tried to deal with Spencer’s leather jacket addiction…

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TV

Made in Chelsea 4.9: New Houseshare Smells Funky, Ollie & Gabs Get Spunky & Boulle Wants a Monkey

It’s Made in Chelsea times again, and this week the poshos are getting sexy in Amsterdam, breaking up restaurants and buying new houses in London like it’s nothing…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 4.8: There’s a Topless To-Do, a Trip to The Zoo & Lucy’s Manners are Poo

It’s Made In Chelsea time! And this week, the gang are mostly horsing around, arguing about women and slyly slagging off The Only Way Is Essex…

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TV

Made in Chelsea 4.7: Rosie Shows Contrition, Proudlock’s On A Perfume Mission And Nobody Understands Prohibition!

This episode features a sniffing montage, a quiff with a message, an emotional leper and a “fahcking slat!”

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TV

Made in Chelsea 4.6: Lucy’s a Player, Jamie Tries to Lay Her & Spencer Wants to Slay Her

This week the poshos battle with a she-wolf, Proudlock double crosses Francis and Lucy asks why people are in ones grill?

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TV

Made in Chelsea 4.5: Shower Boning & Posh Groaning

With more under bites, aristocratic groans and theft of urban phrases turned into posho catchphrases, it’s this week the MIC review!

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TV

Made In Chelsea 4.4: Andy’s a Lad, Biscuits is a Cad and Binky is Sad!

With more under bites, leopard print glasses frames and yah, yah, yahs than you can shake a bottle of Moet at. It’s here again, this weeks Made in Chelsea analysis!

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TV

X-Factor 2012 Results: Pretend Joy, Pretend Rihanna and Pretend Straight Men

Rylan’s still here, Kye’s thrown out on his ear and Gary Barlow sheds a tear. Join us as we celebrate the weekly occurrence of X-Factor results show madness…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 4.3: Francis Walks His Pet, Mark Francis is Vexed And No-One Has Sex

This week the snooty Mark Franics loses his rag whilst the rest of the cast get to grips with a Caggie clone called Sophia…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 3.3: Millie Gets a Dog, Spencer’s Nipples Get Flogged and Biscuits Gets a Snog!

This is the week that we all tuned in for some hotly anticipated Binkie Biscuits boning but the best we got was a snog and some golf course flirting…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 4.1: Kimberly’s Replaced, Spencer’s in a Love Race and Proudlock Paints a Big Face

It’s all kicking off in the news series of Made in Chelsea. Spencer beats his chest, Ollie sheds his locks and newcomer Andy can’t stop twitching his eyebrows…

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TV

Fresh Meat 2.1: Taut, Sharp And Perfectly Paced

Jack Whitehall and the gang returned for a second season, and the dysfunctional house is still as hilarious as ever…

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TV

Strictly Come Dancing 2012 #1: Longing Looks, Bulging Schlongs And Sweaty Gussets

The dance fest of z-listers, sexual innuendoes and judges arguments is back. Here’s what we thought to the first episode of this sequinned extravaganza…

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TV

Lost In Reality: TOWIE Babies & The Jodie And Kerry Show

Daisy Buchanan hangs out with* (Twitter stalks) her celebrity pals** (people who were once on Big Brother or something.)

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TV

Made In Chelsea The Season Finale: Sexy Friends, Speccy Lends And Making Amends

After ten weeks of bumming for Jesus it’s time for the Made In Chelsea Finale! The perfect excuse for a PARDY and even more Sloaney saliva swapping…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 3.9: Culture, Crazies And Bumming For Jesus

This week in Made In Chelsea, Cheska’s get a face-full from Kimberley while Francis, Proudlock and Jamie Biscuits decide to become culture vultures. Let’s see how this turns out…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 3.8: Interventions, Interference And Itty-Bitty Willies

The week in which Spencer and Louise go to a farmer’s market to show how much they like each other, Kimberly’s revealed to not be very nice, and Binky gets a look under Jamie Biscuits’ kilt

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Sex

Made in Chelsea 3.7 –
Whores, Bores And Spa Wars

Featuring a violent hot stone massage, some grumpy champagne drinking and a very gloomy Jimmy Biscuits…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 3.6- Heartbreak And Broken Biscuits

This week the gang descend on Dubai;expect sadness, scandal and Francis marching across the desert astride a white horse…

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TV

Made In Chelsea, Episode 3.5 – Romance In The Roller Disco

Tattoos, trauma and trips to Vauxhall – has the gang gone nuts?!

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TV

Made In Chelsea 3.4 – What’s The Point To Point?

We say love triangle, you say posh trigonometry…

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TV

Made In Chelsea 3.3 – Jonesin’ For Jamie

His biscuits bring all the reviewers to the yard…

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TV

Made in Chelsea 3.1: Bitches, Biscuits And Leftover Boobs

The new series of Made in Chelsea kicked off last night promising to be the poshest chelsea ever…

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People

Courtney Stodden: The Daily Mail’s Latest 17 Year Old Obsession

She’s married a 51-year-old man and wears stripper heels to the beach. Perfect fodder for the Daily Mail then…

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TV

Mad Men Series 5: Why I’ll Always Be Yearning For Sterling

The show might be overly-focused on Don Draper, but if I was wandering around SCDP looking for a fumble, I’d be knocking on Roger’s door…

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TV

Sorority Girls: Clapping, Shouting and Virginity Trees

In TV’s finest Sorority based reality show, the Brit girls receive an education in how not to become a “sorostitute”. *Warning* Best viewed from behind a cushion.

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TV

Made In Chelsea Finale: Fights, Fireworks And A Pet Owl

Biscuits reveals he once captained England at rugby, there’s a case of whisky dick and Francis gets a bullet-proof briefcase…

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TV

X Factor 2011, Week 14 Results: Babestation Without The Dignity

Bryan bashing, bum bothering and lipsticks that look like massive dildos. Who said the show was getting short on controversy?

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TV

Made in Chelsea: Fighting, Flirting and Francis

It’s the penultimate episode of Chelsea. For the last two months, Caggie’s hopes have been my hopes. Spencer’s dreams have been my dreams and Jamie’s pardies have been my pardies. I’m going to miss these guys.

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TV

Frankie Cocozza and The 10 Golden Rules of X Factor

Frankie supposedly broke the “golden rule” – but what is it exactly? Now, published for the first time, here is every single one of the Cowell commandments.

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TV

Made in Chelsea: Camels, Lions and a Stuffed Monkey

Another Monday night, another trip to Chelsea. What will happen? Will the gang drive to a haunted house in a funky psychedelic van and foil a dodgy criminal type?

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TV

Made in Chelsea, Episode 7: Bromance, Biscuits And Bowel Movements

A confectionary is bastardised (or is it?), Rosie’s flatter than a pancake and it’s a platonic relationship for Millie and Hugo down on the King’s Road…

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TV

Made In Chelsea: Mark Francis, My Favourite Waste of Time

It’s housekeeping, heartbreak and scrotums ahoy in this week’s episode and frankly I can’t think of anything I’d rather do on a Monday night.

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TV

X Factor 2011, Week 9: Love, Heartbreak And Some Diabolical Styling

Last night’s two hour long X Factor extravaganza brought us seductive snarls, dismal styling and a whole load of LOLz – what more could you want from a Saturday night…

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Life

A Dog is A Man’s Best Friend… and Sometime Lover

This morning, the tabloids gleefully reported on a Swiss man who had seduced his dog with chocolate drops. Now I know Bestiality is wrong, but I can’t help but feel a little jealous of the dog…

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Life

The Filthy Confessions Of An Online Sex Addict

If you’re finding the politeness of Match.com and Guardian Soulmates a little twee, why not head on over to the cock shots and panty sniffing of Craigslist personals?

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