Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

Annoying teenagers, overprotective mum and pervy old man. Some customers just make us waitresses want to smash your main course over your head…

If Spinal Tap & Wayne’s World were burly men and they sodomised High School Musical, an innocent teenage girl, on a cocktail of whiskey, crack and Methadrone, Rock of Ages would be the spawn of their hedonistic union…

Judges dancing as well as smiling and singing? Cowell will be turning in his leather recliner.

From highly skilled assassins to erotically charged animals… these are the gaming legends that push my buttons, leave my fingers numb and make me want to sit in a dark room and try an MMO (that stands for ‘massive multiple orgasm’ right?)

Have you ever wondered who you’d choose between if your life depended on it? This helpful list of pros and cons is designed to help you make an informed decision…

It’s week two of the talent show, let the bottom of the barrel scraping begin…

There is no denying that Rihanna releases great pop music, but it’s her passion and ballsy attitude that I love. She’s feisty, she loves sex and she’s an S&M courtesan-hussy that girls want to do too…

More props, a bigger audience, and huge, elaborate performances… so why was the first half of this week’s X Factor Final still achingly tedious?

It’s down to the final four and as the contestants have dwindled each week, so have the personalities.

Taking the pain out of buying a stranger a present; here’s a run down of the strangest gifts for your colleagues this Christmas.

Movie tunes, new hairdos and Dermot’s dodgy dancing didn’t impress this week. Perhaps a touch of the old Cocozza marching powder would have livened up proceedings …

After being introduced to what could well be the worst intake since inception, Freddie waddled into camp late and was instantly under the pump with a face full of maggots…

X Factor USA. It’s got talent, plenty of cash and it’s even got Simon Cowell. Two out of three isn’t bad. Here’s what you’ve missed so far….

Frankie Cocozza survives another week on The X Factor as we see The Risk and Johnny Robinson kicked off in a double elimination.

The internet erupted this morning when Liz Rones revealed she’d stolen sperm from her then boyfriend. Cheers Liz, you’ve made us all look like twats…