Mark, 32, lives in South London with his put-upon wife and sometime housekeeper. In his full-time, he works for a games publisher, helping millions to fritter away their hours in pointless endeavours. He enjoys a life of infrequent intrepid adventures to faraway lands - such as the Yukon, Cairo and Suffolk. Having been published several times - a sport-themed poetry compilation, a short-story magazine and numerous irate letters to The Times - he hopes to publish a novel. Which of those begun but still incomplete remains to be seen. In his spare time, of which there is surprisingly little for a 'man of leisure', he runs Wanderers FC, the 1st FA Cup winners and proponents of the cavalier, individual, dribbling game emulated by such irritating bastards as Cristiano Ronaldo and Ashley Young. He is a Capricorn, enjoys sandwiches, drinks ginger beer and hates overly emotional women who cry at the drop of the hat. If they continue that way, they can move back in with their mother..