Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

Read “The Game” but still striking out? We spoke to an actual literal LOVE GURU to find out how you too can achieve the sexual magnetism of Ryan Gosling.

Paddy Considine’s amazing but incredibly dark film, Tyrannosaur had it’s TV premier last night. We look at some other films that make the black hole of Calcutta look like a day out at the seaside…

Stallone, Statham, Schwarzenegger and the gang are back armed to the teeth with knuckle-dusters, machine guns and RPGs. But their deadliest weapon of all is their small talk.

Visually spectacular and pulse-racingly exciting. Christopher Nolan delivers a fantastic finale to the best superhero franchise ever made…

Starring that good-looking bloke off Game of Thrones, this is a bonkers Norwegian crime thriller featuring obese twins, a LOT of human shit and naked prostitutes playing with toy guns. What’s not to like?

A review of the new smuggling thriller Contraband, the general gist of which is that Mark Wahlberg is a spectacular douchebag.

Nominated for the Best Foreign Film Academy Award, this film is like Schlindler’s List meets Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (but better than that makes it sound)

Disney’s $300m Martian Megamovie touches down in cinemas this weekend. But will this be the new Avatar or have they jumped the Thark?

The poster for the Human Centipede 2 hit the internet last night and predictably fired up the social media masses. Clearly it is going to be gruesome, but as the first one was so sickening, is it possible for the sequel to shock?. If you haven’t seen part one, here is the lowdown…

With three great new movies hitting cinemas this weekend, there’s something for everyone. Whether you like beautifully rendered period thrillers, fast-paced action comedies or flying streams of baby sh*t..

Daniel Craig and his bizarre, preternaturally blue eyes are back for this simple tale of rugged gun-slingers versus intergalactic space-bastards.

As the Inbetweeners prepare for their big screen debut, Simon Bird tells us about trying to say no, the “Big Bugger tour” and the similarities between himself and Snoop Dogg.

Well that’s disappointing, the film I was most looking forward to all year is a massive letdown filled with waggling penises and a comedy monkey.

Why are Pirates of the Caribbean sequels always such a big load of shit? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

The deadliest species in the universe take on the “alien-wolf-gorilla-motherfuckers” in Joe from Adam and Joe’s awesome new movie.

Released the month the US killed Bin Laden, this bloodthirsty thriller shows us how they do vengeance… in Korea!

On paper, it could have been incredible. But this offbeat action flick tries to be a bit too ‘quirky’ for its own good.

Joe Dunthorne on writing a novel, being the next Salinger, Adrian Mole and the merits of Bruce Willis’ bald head…

In our humble opinion, Richad Ayoade’s original and hilarious tale of young love in Swansea is an early contender for best film of the year.

The film that opened the London Film Festival sounds like a right laugh – never ending life, Heartbeat with a sense of foreboding and Keira Knightly banged up in some extra-special boarding school. Why don’t they ever open film festivals with a sort of arty version of Animal House?

Our review of Oscar-nominated film, The Fighter. A boxing movie about white people… Again.

Yeah sure, it features brutal scenes of gang rape, castration and shotguns being stuck in places they really don’t belong… but is I Spit On Your Grave offensive?

Review of ‘Bromance for Posho’s’ and Oscar favourite, The King’s Speech. Including, as an added bonus, a reference to Faces Nightclub, Ilford.

Drop that box-set because there’s going to be some ace stuff in the cinema this year that’s worth you putting on a pair of actual trousers to go and see.

As 2010 comes to an end, it’s time for the Sabotage Times Film Awards. Rather than focusing on boring things like Best Actor or Director, we’ve compiled a more interesting list of awards including ‘Mentalist of the year’ and Best C*nt’.

All I want for Christmas is… a naked homicidal Santa Claus? You definitely wouldn’t want to sit on his knee.

An innocent town, comprised mostly of sugar, spice and everything nice. One runaway train, loaded with rats, snails and puppy-dog tails. Can two ordinary guys like Denzel Washington and Chris Pine save the day?

Site specific cinema is all the rage these days, so who were we to turn down a chance to watch a screening of John Landis’s horror classic in one of the principal filming locations?

Stuart muses on the exact temperature a baby will die while Melissa demands everyone “just come out my face!” and generally wibbles like a linguistic Charlie Parker.

The funniest entry in this year’s London Film Festival by far. Not sure Sarah Palin would like it though.

90 minutes in a wooden box with that annoying bloke from those chick flicks. Got to be rubbish surely? Well funnily enough, it’s not.

Documentary or mockumentary? Either way, Joaquin Phoenix’s new film feels like the bleakest episode of Entourage imaginable.

Weeing on guitars, first periods and lots of sweary language. Tut tut, it’s just not necessary is it?

Scott Pilgrim might have to battle the world, I’ve got to battle the fact that I’m not getting any younger, starting with buying an over-priced train ticket.

It only seems like yesterday that Avatar was on the big screen. That’s probably because it was. It’s already back in a new special edition.

It’s here. Every grown-up 10-year-old kid’s action wet dream is here. Stallone! Statham! Mickey Rourke! Stone Cold! Arnie! Taste the testosterone.

Do you like Tom Cruise? What about Cameron Diaz? Neither of them? Ah. That could be a problem.

Have you got a WKD side? If so, chances are you’re an utter cretin who wants shooting.

Yep, good, thanks Hollywood. That’s another fond childhood memory you’ve comprehensively pissed over.