Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

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Olivia Foster

Sabotaging since 5 May 2010

Olivia Foster is a small town girl in the big city. She likes to think of herself as London's answer to Carrie Bradshaw sadly, in reality, they only share the terrible dating history and not the amazing shoe collection. She mostly wants to be a journalist to get closer to the love of her life, that's right, the enigmatic Mr.Simon Cowell..

My Articles

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Life

Audrey Tautou & 9 Women, Women Love To Love

Some women are so beautiful it doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, bi or an alien from outer space you just would.

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Life

The Accidental Lapdance Tourist

“Personally I think stripping’s a great choice for the modern day career girl” Did that really come out of my mouth? Did I actually let that slip mid grind? Yes, yes I did, and there was worse to come.

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Life

Biscuits: An Appreciation In Lists

I always tell people that I don’t like biscuits, however this is a lie I tell so I can steal their biscuits when they are not looking. Here’s my tribute to the snack in the form of lists.

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Life

Shoe Lickers And 4 Other Things I Hate About Pornography

Porn: An unappreciation. No one wants to see old people having sex and if I wanted to hear the sounds of animals shagging I would go to the zoo.

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Sex

The Do’s And Don’ts Of Online Dating

Online dating is acceptable now – here’s how you do it properly so you can DO IT properly….

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Funny

Ikea: The Ultimate Day Out, Horsemeat Included

So horse meat has been found in Ikea meatballs. Sod that though, it’s still better than a theme park or the seaside if you really want a great family day out…

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Fashion & Style

What A Load Of Pants

Step away from the Family Guy themed underwear, put down those multi coloured boxers, if you want to get into a girls underwear you need to make sure yours are up to scratch too.

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Fashion & Style

You Can’t Wear That, You’re Old

This article won’t stop you from becoming old, it may not even stop you making some horrific fashion choices, but it will serve as a warning.

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Music

Happy For Hardcore

I’m a 5’3 blonde with a passion for Pinot Grigio, pretty tea dresses, rom coms and um, hardcore music.

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Fashion & Style

Gentlemen May Prefer Blondes But Here’s 10 Reasons Why Brunettes Are Best

Blondes have more fun? Do me a favour…

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Food and Drink

The Diet To End All Diets

Tried (and failed) atkins? Can’t be bothered with carb cutting? Well not to worry here at Sabotage we bring you a revolutionary new diet. *Weight loss not guaranteed.

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Life

5 Nightmare Flatmates To Avoid Like The Plague

Looking for a new housemate? Scouring the pages of Gumtree? Just make sure you don’t land yourself with one of these shitbags.

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Film

Birthday Boy Simon Cowell And 7 Strange Men I Secretly Would

Forget chasing after RPatz or the hot one from JLS, you’d have far better chance of bagging yourself a celebrity beau if you just went for someone a little less obvious.

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Film

Glee Season Three? Spare Me

So, a new season of Glee has just begun but I for one am not going to be weeping with joy into my Liza Minelli duvet over it (that’s the sort of thing people who watch Glee own).

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People

Gorgeous Gingers: Why I Want To Bag A Red Head

This is a story about fancying the underdog, and by underdog I mean about fancying a ginger man. Or should I say fancying ginger men.

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Life

Take A Dirty Picture For Me

Forget flowers, forget candlelit dinners, forget moonlit walks along the sea front, modern day romance is all about trying before you buy.

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Life

The Social Etiquette of Ugly Babies

He’s an angel not a goblin, he’s an angel not a goblin, he’s an a…oh who am I kidding she’s given birth to an alien!

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Life

No Wait, It Is You

Sometimes you’ve got to face it’s she’s just not that into you, not that she’s going to admit it mind.

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Life

Skype: Not For Drunk People

Herein lies the confessions of a late night skypeoholic and very public apology to those who happen to have had the misfortune of crossing her path.

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Film

X Factor YAY!

Hello X Factor, Goodbye life. You’re probably not even reading this properly because you’re too excited about Simon Cowell, I know, me too.

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Hardware

Controllerless Gaming: Wii’s Latest Rival

Sabotage Times was one of few people to get a sneaky look at ‘Project Natal’. A first in controllerless gaming – to be released for Christmas 2010.

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Life

Dancing 101

Can’t dance? Rather than embarrassing yourself down the pub why not let the er, ‘experts’ show you how it’s done?

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Life

Welcome To Hell: Celebrity Night Clubs

You’ve read about these glitzy wank holes with over-priced drinks and gawkers by the doors in the tabloids but what are they actually like?

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Food and Drink

The Best Of British

Remember Cool Britannia? Geri Halliwell’s Union Jack dress? No me neither it’s buried under all the hate we’ve built up for the country we live in.

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Life

Fat People: A Tribute

Fat people they’re just great aren’t they? They’re just like the rest of us but um, bigger, much bigger.

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Music

Park Life: The Dos and Don’ts of Music in Public Parks

You can spend all the money in the world on booze and a boombox, but stick on Westlife down the park and you’ll be left with no friends and a black eye.

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Life

The Fine Art Of Not Complaining

When was the last time you made a complaint? Moaned? Yes. Swore a lot? Yes. Actually got off your arse and wrote a letter? Hell no. Why? Because we’re a generation of non complainers.

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Life

Queen Horder

They’re just keepsakes I tell myself, you might want to use it someday. What? A receipt from 2004, I’ll almost certainly need that at some point in the future.

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Life

Not Just A Man’s Best Friend

There are very few times when it’s ok to cry whilst walking down the street, this was one of them.

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Life

Help! I’m Addicted To Dance Offs

Nobody is safe, whether you’re young, old, fat thin, male or female, I will try and have a dance off with you whether you like it or not.

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Film

Desperately Seeking Ricky

They say romance is dead but it isn’t it’s alive and kicking, well, on our TV screens at least and I for one want a piece of it.

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Film

Come Dine With Me Dreams

Come Dine With Me is the television show to end all television shows. Take four complete strangers pit them against each other in the hope of winning £1000 and you have viewing gold.

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Fashion & Style

Men: In Tights

Men have been wearing the same things for decades now, trousers? I mean, how old school are they? The modern man needs to get his legs into some tights (or not).

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Music

Not Another F*cking Festival Article

Call me old fashioned, call me a bitch, call me what you like, but am I only one who doesn’t fancy spending 4 days rolling around in my own filth this summer?

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