Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

Porn: An unappreciation. No one wants to see old people having sex and if I wanted to hear the sounds of animals shagging I would go to the zoo.

Online dating is acceptable now – here’s how you do it properly so you can DO IT properly….

Some women are so beautiful it doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, bi or an alien from outer space you just would.

So horse meat has been found in Ikea meatballs. Sod that though, it’s still better than a theme park or the seaside if you really want a great family day out…

Step away from the Family Guy themed underwear, put down those multi coloured boxers, if you want to get into a girls underwear you need to make sure yours are up to scratch too.

From fleeces to cycling shorts, these are the crimes against fashion which are guarenteed to have the ladies running for the hills.

This article won’t stop you from becoming old, it may not even stop you making some horrific fashion choices, but it will serve as a warning.

Blondes have more fun? Nah, brown is where it is at…

I’m a 5’3 blonde with a passion for Pinot Grigio, pretty tea dresses, rom coms and um, hardcore music.

Tried (and failed) atkins? Can’t be bothered with carb cutting? Well not to worry here at Sabotage we bring you a revolutionary new diet. *Weight loss not guaranteed.

I always tell people that I don’t like biscuits however this is a lie I tell so I can steal their biscuits when they are not looking.

Looking for a new housemate? Scouring the pages of Gumtree? Just make sure you don’t land yourself with one of these shitbags.

Forget chasing after RPatz or the hot one from JLS, you’d have far better chance of bagging yourself a celebrity beau if you just went for someone a little less obvious.

So, a new season of Glee has just begun but I for one am not going to be weeping with joy into my Liza Minelli duvet over it (that’s the sort of thing people who watch Glee own).

This is a story about fancying the underdog, and by underdog I mean about fancying a ginger man. Or should I say fancying ginger men.

Forget flowers, forget candlelit dinners, forget moonlit walks along the sea front, modern day romance is all about trying before you buy.

“Personally I think stripping’s a great choice for the modern day career girl” Did that really come out of my mouth? Did I actually let that slip mid grind? Yes, yes I did, and there was worse to come.

He’s an angel not a goblin, he’s an angel not a goblin, he’s an a…oh who am I kidding she’s given birth to an alien!

Sometimes you’ve got to face it’s she’s just not that into you, not that she’s going to admit it mind.

Herein lies the confessions of a late night skypeoholic and very public apology to those who happen to have had the misfortune of crossing her path.

Hello X Factor, Goodbye life. You’re probably not even reading this properly because you’re too excited about Simon Cowell, I know, me too.

Sabotage Times was one of few people to get a sneaky look at ‘Project Natal’. A first in controllerless gaming – to be released for Christmas 2010.

Can’t dance? Rather than embarrassing yourself down the pub why not let the er, ‘experts’ show you how it’s done?

You’ve read about these glitzy wank holes with over-priced drinks and gawkers by the doors in the tabloids but what are they actually like?

Remember Cool Britannia? Geri Halliwell’s Union Jack dress? No me neither it’s buried under all the hate we’ve built up for the country we live in.

Fat people they’re just great aren’t they? They’re just like the rest of us but um, bigger, much bigger.

You can spend all the money in the world on booze and a boombox, but stick on Westlife down the park and you’ll be left with no friends and a black eye.

When was the last time you made a complaint? Moaned? Yes. Swore a lot? Yes. Actually got off your arse and wrote a letter? Hell no. Why? Because we’re a generation of non complainers.

They’re just keepsakes I tell myself, you might want to use it someday. What? A receipt from 2004, I’ll almost certainly need that at some point in the future.

There are very few times when it’s ok to cry whilst walking down the street, this was one of them.

Nobody is safe, whether you’re young, old, fat thin, male or female, I will try and have a dance off with you whether you like it or not.

They say romance is dead but it isn’t it’s alive and kicking, well, on our TV screens at least and I for one want a piece of it.

Come Dine With Me is the television show to end all television shows. Take four complete strangers pit them against each other in the hope of winning £1000 and you have viewing gold.

Men have been wearing the same things for decades now, trousers? I mean, how old school are they? The modern man needs to get his legs into some tights (or not).

Call me old fashioned, call me a bitch, call me what you like, but am I only one who doesn’t fancy spending 4 days rolling around in my own filth this summer?