Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

You’ll know him as The Wrestler, but Mickey Rourke was once three fights from a boxing title. Here he talks about missing the ring, the current fighters on the scene and what it’s like to kick the crap out of someone.

I love the iced-gem haired Brazilian as much as the next man but if Brendan is set on this formation, he needs to be the one to go…

Not a player who will bend a game to his iron will, but a maverick who will take the absolute p*** out of someone and score a blinder.

Ever wondered what it feels like to get the absolute shit kicked out of you? Well, wonder know more…

It’s 86 years today since Madame Tussauds’ waxwork exhibition opened in London. Here are the terrible masterpieces of her less talented great grandson…

Many people have claimed to be America’s greatest proposition gambler, but the all pale against Titanic Thompson, the murdering, gambling, rootin’ tootin’ legend…

Brilliant against City, we seemed to be outmuscled and thought by Chelsea’s superior attacking midfield trio and muscular pivots. Here’s four who could help bridge that gap…

In my time as a Travel Editor I had plenty of weird nights in mental places, but for sheer WTF this one took the biscuit…

A dark and dingy Tokyo street, beer crates for tables, hundreds of businessmen feasting on Yakitori and a piece of Mackerel that i’ll remember until the day I keel over…

Acid on the beach, being called a mongrel, living with Gordon Brittas and getting seduced by northern A-Level students…

They’re two of the leading purveyors of the beautiful game but which players would make the greatest combined Xl of Brazil and Holland?

Despite the odd blip everything is going swimmingly, now to kick on for the title…

Meat, cheese, onions, chicken wings that melt, chips of the gods and blinding pale ale. Brilliant…

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen they say. Well I could take the heat, just not the fat racist I worked with…

In fact Man’s Best Friend doesn’t even cover it, how’s about the best friend you’ll ever have x 1000 and then some…

From Jimmy Castor to Johnny Otis via AC/DC and Piano Red, these songs celebrate the larger lady. Crank up the volume and get your arses shaking…

Pikeys, dossers and lunchtime spliffs. All in a days work at the car shop.

It may seem harsh, but it doesn’t come any more difficult than an Ahes series and affirmative action is required…

From sliding on your knees in celebration to getting leathered the night before a game, here are five things all aspiring football coaches should avoid.

Earth, Wind & Arcade Fire anyone?

This is one of the worst things we’ve ever seen, what’s more she is paid to do it…

I was 14 and had to scab the bus money off the kids in the year below. Let’s just say it was worth it…

16 Years on from his untimely death at the hands of hitmen, Notorious BIG is still the king…

In the Mission District between 24th and 25th streets stands the world’s greatest Mexican joint, just don’t be put off that it looks like a Tijuana knocking shop…

At some point Winter is going to properly bite. These five will help…

My old man didn’t really have any musical rules, except it had to be good and listened to loud and the time spent in his car as a kid was a vital part of my musical education…

Grease, illiterates and 9% cider and hash bongs for lunch. The bins had been bad, but I entered a different world entirely when I took a job at the local iron and steelworks.

Forget Jack Wilshere’s English jobs for English workers comments, it’s his views on the English style of play that are really worrying. Yet he isn’t to blame and he is right about the need for an identity, but what will it be?

C’mon lads, stop going insane in the design process and take us back to these classic looks will you?

Just when he seemed to be holding his own with Neville, he dropped a clanger, and Sky will love it…

Before I got my arse into gear to write for a living, I spent eight years working in a series of jobs that I hated with a passion. Here’s the first one for your reading pleasure…

A revelation for Everton this season, is about time we were bold and stuck the youngster in?

Of all of the gin joints in all of the… Ok, so I didn’t drink gin as far as I can remember but I did have a rollicking night of cracking food and top-notch cocktails. What’s not to like…

It sounded, and started, like a dream job. Then the Head Greenkeeper returned and tried to convert me to religion…

Melissa Reid and Michaella McCollum Connoll are facing a long old stretch in a Peruvian jail after being convicted of trying to smuggle cocaine out of the country. You shouldn’t laugh, but whichever parent came up with this idea deserves a medal…

How had I forgot about them for so long?

In a 21 year career Microdot founder Brian Cannon has seen it all. Here he talks Oasis, miserable bands, Coldplay being shite, creating rock n’ roll history and why Noel’s solo album will be brilliant…

He grew up dirt-poor, dressed in every colour of the rainbow, partied with Evel Knievel and The Rat Pack and had vodka delivered to him on course. But he’ll always be remembered for missing that putt in 1970…

He was the blue-collar boy from the wrong side of the tracks who developed a taste for the high-life and perished in a plane crash at the age of 32. His nerveless performance in the 1964 Open at St. Andrews proved he could’ve been one of the true greats…

Boxing can be full of Bullshit, but Jonathan Rendall’s ‘This Bloody Mary’ is a gonzo treasure that should be on the national syllabus…

It might not have boasted the one-two punch of last week’s slaughter, but it set us up nicely for season four…

Clever, very clever…

After a pair of slow-burn episodes the fantasy epic went double tonto last night, here are our highlights.

Leeches, lotharios and newly-plegded loyalties were all to the fore as the fantasy epic lurches towards an explosive climax…

Moonshiners, snake charmers, oxy addicts, religious nuts and a lot of trouble. Some of the many reasons you should get on Justified, pronto…

You think you need him, don’t you? But you don’t, you really don’t, and what’s worse is that it will strengthen Manchester United to boot…

There’s no debate really, but just for shits and giggles here are 20 reasons why the Man in Black beats The King hands down…

Liverpool’s master storyteller returns with a foray into the crime genre…

It’s 1990 and one song has ripped up the charts and reverberated around the UK’s classrooms. Give me a pen, a T-shirt and a false sense of grandeur and you’ve got a recipe for extreme idiocy…

Shane MacGowan is probably the finest lyricist of all-time. Here’s the ones that get me banging the virtual beer tray on my head…

It can’t be, can it?

I can hardly believe it’s been 10 years since the great man passed, here’s a collection of my favourites from the street poet laureate of punk rock…

2009 bought happiness to trainer heads who’d missed out on these beauties first time around, but for me it quashed a playground stigma that lasted a quarter of a century…

It’s 2012, the President of the USA backs gay marriage and our Government have moved to protect the Church. Pass the sick bag. And the rifle…

He definitely doesn’t score when he wants or he’d be on 30 goals by now, but to deride Suarez as a poor finisher shows a complete lack of understanding of the situation. Here’s a look both at and behind the stats of the man everyone bar reds loves to hate…

The boys are back with a track that kicks the piss out of the dirge we have to suffer elsewhere..

I got emailed a picture of this shirt. Now I want it.

In his MOTD interview yesterday the Stoke manager came out and said he thought Saurez should be banned for diving; he’d be better off having a look at his own team’s roughouse tactics before judging others…

After a week of building the Premier League, the hacks and pillock pundits were out in force to hammer people taking their first baby steps…

New signings galore, weather you could strip Ian Dowe’s face with and the prospect of Paul Merson turning into a blancmange on live TV. What’s not to like…

It’s over and we’re gutted, and not just because of a derriere. From Thorpedo to Balding, we salute London 2012…

On paper it looks a mismatch, with the Liverpool giant miles ahead of the fading fraudster. But for Price this fight is about gaining new fans and learning to cope with the heightened attention…

The idea of Brendan Rodgers bringing fluid, possession based football to Liverpool had me chomping at the bit for the new season, but tiki-taka with Theo Walcott? Really? Please Brendan, say it ain’t so…

Alongside the infamous mum run and sloppy auntie kiss, the dancing dad is a truly British phenomenon. Bleary-eyed and full of gusto, they wait for their moment before hitting the dancefloor…

Roy Hodgson may not have succeeded when managing Steven Gerrard at Liverpool, but the playmaker is revelling in a more disciplined role under the England manager at Euro 2012.

Thankfully a change of pace returned the show to the glories of season one and as King’s Landing came under attack, we got some of the standout moments of season two…

This (not quite) scientific pie chart maps out the upcoming summer of football for all Liverpool fans.

Since diversifying into footwear and clothing in 1925, Dunlop has stamped its authority in fields as diverse as Aerospace and diving. Now they’re setting the pace again with a new retro inspired range…

So Waterstones are to stock Kindles after ditching plans to release an e-reader of their own. Fair enough, you might think, but that makes it no easier for me to make a decision…

As the axe hangs over Dalglish’s head we take a look at the six contenders for the Liverpool job.

Rio’s been dropped by Hodgson and GNev has been appointed the England manager’s assistant. When I interviewed the Manchester United defender a couple of years ago he revealed that Neville would make a great assistant and that one day he too would like to go into management.

Two-footed, quick, never stops moving and had more desire in his little finger than Andy Carroll does in his entire body. We might have no chance, but please John, just give it a go…

From Bjorn Bjorg and Seve Ballesteros to the England World Cup winning ball, Slazenger know how to do sport in style - which is why we wholly approve of the new Slazenger Heritage range.

James Collins’ apology for the brawl has been done by numbers, here is what he is actually saying…

A punch perfect performance from the garrulous scouser showed that he is ready to step up…

Genius…

Having a bad day? Need a giggle to cut through the Monday gloom? Then check this out…

Kevin Pietersen has just hit an impressive 103 off 64 balls to claim victory for the Delhi Daredevils in the IPL, here’s a piece from last summer about a similarly successful knock against India…

It never rains, does it?

This lot can gurn and scream and look silly, but judging them on the evidence of last night’s tasks its clear that they haven’t got a business brain between them…

It’s 1966 and the civil rights movement has hit Madison Avenue. Change is everywhere, except in the lives and psyches of the two main draws…

The Czech skipper has endured a hideous time at Arsenal, now he’s back when they most need him and increasingly influential…

Gerrard was back to his best in more ways that one, Spearing showed a growing maturity, Carroll’s hold-up play was a highlight and even Hendo had a decent game…

Winless in three and looking over their shoulders, Spurs need to hammer Stevenage tonight. But not as much as the fans need Harry to man up and make a decision on whether he’ll stay or go…

AVB is gone, but surely it would be madness for Benitez to head to Stamford Bridge…

Scoring two goals wasn’t enough it seems as the Dutch striker hammered into Martin Kelly then gave him the international sign…

Number one for the first time in his career after winning the Honda Classic, Rory McIlroy can reign for years. When I first met him in 2006, he was a callow 15-year-old with a glint in his eye and talent to burn…

Shorn of two of their most experienced defenders, a weakened Arsenal travel to Liverpool today. It’s time for Andy Carroll to shape up or ship out…

Of course I want Liverpool back in the Champions League, but not as much as I want us to win things, starting today…

A brave new dawn was forecast by some in the run up to Stuart Pearce’s England squad announcement, but all we got was a couple of omissions and a striker back from injury. Here’s why he should have included Arsenal’s tyro and Norwich City’s brute…

On the face of it I should hate Friday Night Lights, it’s about American Football and teenagers for Christ’s sake. But I’m addicted, hopelessly so. Here’s a spoiler free version of why…

An average fight was spiced up by a lively press conference, but with Haye and Chisora showing a disregard for the sport, I’m looking for David Price to step up and save British Heavyweight boxing…

A storming run and intelligent cross by Downing was buried by Andy Carroll yesterday, but cvan the pair do it against better opposition. Here’s what they need to do…

A brilliant performance from Cesc helped Barca beat Bayer Leverkusen 3-1 last night. Yet beyond the metronomic passing and movement, Fabregas is behind only Messi in goals and assists and the improvement in his game is there for all to see…

Unbelievable Jeff…

Another match, another win in the bag, albeit with lots and lots to talk about, which I will let much better writers tend to. So here is a Manchester United fan’s take on the five other things we learnt from the match.

I felt dirty writing it and expect a shellacking, but take the blinkers off and you’ll have to agree with some of what I’ve said - afterall, Liverpool vs Manchester United is one hell of a rivalry

This documentary, a Cass Pennant Production narrated by Peter Hooton, delves deep into the clothing that shaped a sub-culture…

There are many strikers I’d love to see at Anfield, but Defoe isn’t one of them, here’s why…

A late goal from Kuyt won it for Liverpool, but beyond the chants and tackles, what else emerged from the FA Cup clash?

So Chelsea gaffer AVB has said QPR’s Anton Ferdinand should shake hands with John Terry? Nonsense, absolute nonsense…

His status as the best player on the park last night not only makes a mockery of Mancini’s decision to let him go for nowt, but also shows that Bellamy’s technique and desire would make him an asset for any club in the world…

A cracking affair at the Etihad generated several talking points, but we think we’re the only ones suggesting Coleman should have his tongue cut out and Balotelli for leader of the free world…

Carroll, Henderson, Adam and Downing have arrived for grossly inflated fees and should be sent packing at the earliest juncture, along with the man who signed them based on numbers…

The response to Gary Gliter joining Twitter yesterday was mixed to say the least, hailed variously as ‘the King’ by many and a ‘diddler’ by Joey Barton. But one man got it bang on…

Following another 0-0 draw at home, Liverpool are clearly in need of a forward. They could start with one of these five….

A year ago James Wade was on suicide watch in The Priory, after battling back to his best form, the last thing he deserves is to have fun poked at his expanding weight gain…

The skipper emerged from the bench last night to galvanise a stuttering Liverpool. His link up play, passing ability and appreciation of space showed that he is still a world class talent…

He may have bowed out of the World Championship to Dave Chisnall last night, but Phil ‘the Power’ Taylor should be our next sporting Knight…

Will he leave, will Carroll start scoring, will we sign a striker, will Dirk Kuyt learn to trap a ball?

We lost a true literary giant today, a rabble-rouser whose brilliant prose on everything from faith to the Cancer should be taught in schools…

If you’re after a flash of nipple, some dodgy barnets and a couple of laughs, then it was probably right up your street. But shouldn’t we expect, and get, more from Shane Meadows?

A strong performance but a lack of goals against Fulham highlighted an all too common problem for the reds this season, proving that Dalglish must strengthen with a foil for his little Uruguayan in January…

One of the architects of Manchester United’s demise last night, Shaqiri has been on the radar of them and Liverpool for some time. This scouting report, written in the Euro u-21 Championships, proves why the should fight to the death…

Elegant, straight-backed and the general of every team he played in. RIP Gary Speed.

Liverpool proved yesterday against Manchester City that they should only fear their own profligacy rather than any team, but is it time that the Dutchman was replaced?

We’re down to the business end of the show now, which means the judges lose their shit on song choices and the contestants start to unravel…

Charlie Adam had his best game since joining, Glen Johnson should play right midfield and Carra could spend a lot of time on the bench…

Tiger’s ex-caddy went one step too far when he declared himself the winner of a golf tournament last August - now the two are set to face each other in the Presidents Cup.

Unlucky not to get the Man of the Match award last night, the Liverpool winger put in a performance that we have rarely seen at Anfield. Here’s why…

The big fella makes mincemeat of Mark Wright, Fatima gets all teary and Jessica reveals her front pairing early doors…

Picked ahead of Kyle Walker and Micah Richards for England v Spain, the Liverpool man was a constant weak link and displayed a worrying lack of basic defensive technique…

From Vinny Samways to Mark Draper, 11 Englishmen who have plied their trade in Spain with varying levels of success…

Following the death of Heavy D, it’s time the Post Office put some serious heroes on our stamps: Heavy D, Biggie Smalls, Tupac are far more deserving than Her Maj.

It was the match fixing scandal that rocked French football, but why will one of Arsenal’s backroom staff hope to stick the knife into Marseille tomorrow evening?

Currently riding the crest of a wave with the High Flying Birds, Noel has gone and got his own range of Adidas…

The Rasatniometer has swung back and forth more times than we can count, so who exactly is he? We’ve collated all of the evidence and have attempted to come to a conclusion…

Was the Alessio Rastani Goldman Sachs speech another hoax by the Yes Men? There has so far been no concrete proof but judging by some of their other pranks we wouldn’t be surprised…

With both teams having suffered back-to-back defeats in the league something’s got to give at Anfield today, and I expect Suarez, Bellamy, Kuyt and Downing to be given license to terrorise. That and Jamie Carragher haul someone down…

Every time England fail to win 8-0 people call for ‘Arry to be the next England manager, but the last thing a new crop of promising youngsters need is to be told to ‘get into ‘em’…

It would be to easy to say that Championship opposition is no real test, but Craig Bellamy was the best player on the pitch last night and should be an automatic pick in Kenny Dalglish’s side…

On Sunday night a clearly delusional woman from Wales was wheeled out to be laughed at by the nation, and the news that X Factor bosses pursued her crosses a line that should be set in granite…

The big man was impressive tonight against Nicolai Firtha, but he needs to watch the Klitschkos and train like a bastard to have a chance of being a true great…

Long linked with a move to Anfield, the ‘new Baggio’ could be the man to provide Liverpool with a bit of guile in attack…

So last night we met the winner, two quarter finalists and a barmaid who will make the live shows before toddling off to work on the ships…

If you missed it this summer the full Wugazi album is ace, it’s free and is a high-water mark in the world of mash-ups…

An engaging affair at The Britannia saw Liverpool walk away frustrated after dominating for large parts of the game only to be thwarted by Stoke’s dogged defending…

I feel nothing when I hear God Save the Queen but have supported England. I love Land of My Fathers but feel an outsider in Wales. Confused? Let me explain…

If managed and used correctly, the signing of Craig Bellamy could be a masterstroke by Kenny Dalglish. But can the player and his boyhood idol gel to propel Liverpool towards the title?

There is no good reason for Raul Meireles to leave Liverpool for Chelsea, but should Kenny decide that he has too many midfielders then he should ensure Sturridge is the only player involved in a swap deal…

It was a fairly turgid affair save for the opening stanzas and after the introduction of Suarez and Meireles, but surely Arsenal should hand the Russian his P45 and Liverpool need to rethink the midfield pecking order…

While some pundits have bizarrely billed this as an early Champions League decider, we reckon it’s all about Wenger losing his marbles, Liverpool bullying Arsenal and exactly what moment Andy Carroll will do his sex face…

A game of two halves if ever there was one, but despite the result, Liverpool fans have plenty of reasons to be cheerful following the 1-1 draw with Sunderland…

Returning from Tuscany and after his meeting with COBRA, the PM give an address that proves once and for all he is a berk without a clue…

He’s the larrikin turned metrosexual, she’s the staid posho turned blushing woman in the middle of a sexual awakening. You’re all just jealous, aren’t you…

Liverpool’s pre-season has been shaky to say the least, but if Downing and Carroll gel and Suarez continues apace, fourth place should be achievable…

So they’re back. Deborah gets all squeamish over a fruit, Paphitis has gone all Brando, Peter Jones continues as Private Pike and as for Bannatyne, don’t get me started…

Reducing the world’s best batting line-up to a bunch of village sloggers is no mean feat. All hail England, the best team in world cricket…

His status as Captain Fantastic is assured, but do Liverpool’s other players play better without him? Is it possible that the team is actually a stronger unit without Anfield’s very own Roy of The Rovers?

The Molineux flyer won’t think he is bigger than the club, can cross with either foot and raises his game against the big teams. What’s not to like?

Amir Khan takes on Jab Zudah in Vegas in the early hours of Sunday, should he get past him then all roads lead to Floyd Mayweather, but not before taking out a legend and an upstart…

Liverpool have been crying out for a left-back since Riise was bombed out, and the rangy German international would add goals, dead-ball ability and provide Dalglish with the balance he requires to attack on all-fronts this season…

Built like a boxer and compared to Didier Drogba, Arsenal should look to no-one but Romelu Lukaku to be the powerful forward who can add a whole new dimension to the team…

Luke Donald as number one without winning a Major? I don’t want to hear it, I’ll be cheering for Rory but golf is a much poorer sport without the disgraced phenomenon…

I said Haye would win, but I’m more than happy to admire the boxing masterclass that Klitschko put on in Hamburg…

So here it is, the fight Heavyweight boxing has been waiting for since Lennox Lewis ended the myth of Mike Tyson. David Haye, the braggart from Bermondsey against Wladimir Klitschko, Dr Steelhammer. Here’s why I reckon Haye wins…

Linked with everyone from Spurs to Liverpool, Connor Wickham has chosen Sunderland. If Bruce works on his all-round game, then a glittering future lies ahead. But should he only play to his strengths we should all be worried…

As the latest Brendan Ingle disciple to promise greatness, Kell Brook showed this evening by beating Lovemore N’Dou that he is ready to step up to world level

So the coveted England winger has plumped for Manchester United but here’s why he should have chosen Liverpool and will live to regret his decision.

Liverpool’s Sterling has been on the radar for a while now, here he features alongside four other players to watch, get excited about and then sign on Football Manager…

The Kasabian frontman shakes off the effects of stardom and remembers fighting, drinking, and listening to rap as a kid in Leicester

He’s been heavily linked to Chelsea but the latest news suggests Brazilian forward Neymar has joined Real Madrid. Here’s why they call him the New Pele…
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Liverpool are flashing the cash, Arsenal are signing yet more wonderkids and the baying mob are on Arsene’s back…

Every pundit worth no salt have had a go at the fee, but Liverpool signing Henderson makes perfect sense for a variety of reasons

I had no intentions doing this live blog of Manchester United v Barcelona, then some dodgy meatballs and an inspired tweet by the gaffer made me think again…

A cracking fight saw the two bitter rivals separated by only two points, George Groves will wake up this morning looking for a world title shot, but should James DeGale be looking to follow Amir Khan west?

Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage died yesterday in a car crash, when I was an 11-year-old, he unknowingly helped me through a lonely period…

James DeGale and George Groves have shaken hands and said that the winner will get the whole purse, here’s a look at why I think he’ll be our next superstar…

Since taking up boxing five years ago, Natasha Jonas has a handful of titles, is in pole position for the Olympics squad and thinks that Amir Khan and Frank Warren are chauvinists…

Arsenal need to buy spirit, grit and a top centre-half. Yet strikers really fire the imagination, and the free-scoring Cisse would suit their style down to the ground…

On his knees, in the trees, in a car park or stranded in a bunker 250 yards away, it never mattered to Seve Ballesteros, he’d always find a way out…

The flowing hair, the megawatt smile, the ridiculous shots, the Slazenger jumper, the pumped fist. No one can match Severiano Ballesteros.

Apart from Iniesta’s pass, there was nothing classic on show last night at the Camp Nou. Yes, Barcelona again demonstrated that they are the best footballing side of the last decade and yes, they again proved that they are not beyond reproach when it comes to diving, feigning and moaning. But it is Real Madrid who have problems.

The farcical bout against Paul McCloskey aside, Amir Khan should forget England, study the Pretty Boy and move up a division quickly…

The 3-0 thrashing by Liverpool of Man City last night was perhaps unexpected, but when you look at the merits of passion over money and positive thinking over negative tactics then it really wasn’t a surprise…

Following a mid-season break with the mute button on, I cranked up the volume and got Robbie Savage talking about Joey Barton when the real focus should’ve been on the latest round of howlers by referees…

Despite some patchy form in Ukraine for Shakhtar, the performances of Douglas Costa in The Champions League have highlighted why Manchester United have spent three years chasing ‘the new Ronaldinho…’

With the big man starved of decent service so far, the priority for Liverpool this summer is to buy width. They could do a lot worse that start with Jeffren…

What was touted as a battle of the historical rivals turned into a training exercise as England beat Wales 2-0. You did see John Terry spit on the floor, didn’t you?

Poetry and Latin might spell disaster, but despite some early reticence things take an upward turn. Then Cherie Blair is seen and the air of positivity begins to dissipate…

He might not yet have the global profile – or indeed €50m price tag – of compatriot Javier Pastore, but the news that Liverpool have joined Barcelona in the race to sign River Plate’s Erik Lamela should get the Kop jumping…

After far too long spent in the armchair with only the odd pricey jaunt to Anfield, a journey to a Ryman League local derby between Tonbridge Angels and Maidstone United got my stepson and I bouncing…

And by do it I mean win and drag me back in when I’d sworn I was going to forget all about it. If England do get in the Super 8s they had better sort it out, I can’t cope with much more of this…

Week three and despite it being clear that the children have issues, the real problem is the shock and awe editing of Channel Four

We all might have hoped for an Arsenal victory, but the performance of Barcelona defied logic, physics and the dispassionate Sky commentary…

As the craving for quotes by the nationals reaches fever pitch, a group of respected football writers have joined forces to produce a leftfield football magazine for fans sick of the cult of celebrity.

Rooney swings the elbow for Man United and Ashley Cole goes back to being a gunner, but West Ham and Birmingham remind us that romance is not dead…

The O’s provide the magic, Bebe and Anelka weigh in with the tragic and everyone seems to hate Crawley manager Steve Evans …

Six weeks ago Liverpool were a laughing stock, but the return of Dalglish has united fans, galvanised players and forced the rest of the league to take stock…

Just in case you missed it, Wayne Rooney scored a screamer on Saturday. But it came off his shinpad, right? Pity none of the press cared to mention it…

Chelsea fans get a new banner, Arsenal go mental, Wolves bite back and two-men curse the fact they aren’t there…

Torres wants out, ITV uses messrs Coleman and Hughton to talk about football and I’m ready for a rampage. I’ll apologise now…

As the commerciality of the game continues to stick in the collective craw, a timely reminder of why we love it sprung from an Under 9′s training match and some beautiful football across the leagues…

For the first time in ages I actually watched MOTD. Thank god for Carlos Tevez, otherwise I might have done myself an injury…

It’s time for Torres to cheer up or leave, why Robbie Savage is a plank and how Sven got Leicester dancing the La Bamba…

After six weeks of plenty of wine, no women and enough baccy, biscuits and beer to keep a small band of sailors happy from here to the Cape of Good Hope, England have won The Ashes 3-1 in Australia.

3 more wickets to win the Ashes and send Australian cricket into the age of introspection. Just hurry up about it…

My bunker has been invaded, Cook has broken more records and Johnson continues to sling rubbish…

The painkillers are sending me doolally, Hasselhoff makes an appearance and Athers seems to have something to say about Bumble…

Australia may be a busted flush and England dominant, and I did think about jacking it all in and forgetting about it. But we’ve come so far together…

Not a definitive list by any means, but here’s a tribute to five artists we lost in 2010 and have been part of the soundtrack to my life…

I’ve lived every ball, shouted at every bad call and have generally welded myself to this Ashes series like a wannabe WAG to a conference right-back. There might be one more test, but tonight is for celebration.

Win this test and retain The Ashes, it’s that simple, and it would also mean I could get a decent sleep pattern in 2011. To all the England bowlers, come here and gizza kiss…

This was Test cricket in all its absorbing glory. England soaked up the pressure, Australia bowled with heart and discipline and Ricky Ponting blew his stack…

The fourth test starts at midnight tonight, I’ll be up with a bottle of port and a turkey leg for company, here’s a reminder of how the third test finished.

We’re nearly there, but a chance meeting with some ice has left me one hand down. At least I still have my mind and spirit, unlike Ricky Ponting. Four more wickets to retain The Ashes.

Ever since he turned professional, Amir Khan has had to put up with a lot of criticism. Whatever happens from here on in, his performance against Marcos Maidana has answered every question asked of him and then some.

Not only are they back, but Australia have England bent over and are thundering to completion. Its like the 90s all over again.

MItch returns from the wilderness, Ponting is now officially finished as a batsman and the sledging has gone into overdrive. Game on…

Boycott gives everyone both barrels, Ponting fails again, a giant is on the march and my sleep pattern and marriage are in deep water…

As England and Australia prepare to lock horns in what could prove a vital third test, I drove myself insane delving into myriad statistics to compile the greatest ever Xls in the history of The Ashes.

Tevez wants out and Mike Ashley has tightened his grip on the puppet strings. But the juggernaut keeps on trucking…

Dame Edna, Ned Kelly, Mark Webber, Men at Work, Kylie Minogue, Cate Blanchett, Hugh Jackman and Rupert Murdoch, your boys took one hell of a beating…

I’ve had to make the decision to steer clear of prawn sandwiches, Nasri is inviting comparisons with Zizou and Roberto Mancini is going to dust off his boots…

Although the image alone could cause a mass outbreak of coronaries, it’s not the grinning mug of Piers Morgan that led to the headline. Nope, it’s his big, fat, mouth…

Another night of controlled dominance by KP and co led to a deluge of analysis from sofas and commentary boxes the world over. It’s bad news for Ponting…

Well wasn’t that a treat? Cook looks imperious, the Aussies can’t bowl and KP has entered stage right. Barmy Army indeed…

After three days of relatively normal sleep, the dog and I returned to the sofa. Ponting’s angry, Jimmy’s swinging and a girl from Massachusetts is involved…

How the Premier League bared its teeth and why it’s not all shits and giggles if you’re owned by a billionaire.

With honours even on a dead pitch, we move onto Adelaide. Will Ponting drop Johnson? is Alistair Cook really that good? And what will Boycott have to say about it?

I’ve been watching England play cricket for 28 years and I’ve got the mental scars to prove it. Never have I seen an opening pair crush an Australian bowling attack with such ruthless efficiency..

You’ve finished The Wire, Sopranos and Mad Men is coming to an end. For your viewing pleasure check out this brilliant US series about a chemistry teacher cum meth dealer.

Oh what a night. I will never get the seven hours back that I’ve just spent watching Australia grind England into the dust. Two days to save a draw is not what I signed up for…

I’ve managed not to spontaneously combust but Botham is ready to kill. Ponting’s gone, Bumble’s eyebrows are going wild and Hussey is on the march…

England and Australia might be mid-table in global cricket, but nothing gets me going like The Ashes. Here’s to 25 sleepless nights and a decree-nisi.

All predictions have now been thrown out of the window in the Premier League, but a chance meeting with a hero of Leeds’ title winning team of 1991-92 raises questions about the January transfer window.

When it was announced that Alan Partridge was to return we got just a little excited, we just didn’t expect him to be upstaged by a stoner from the fens.

Roy Hodgson and Roberto Mancini are drinking sarsaparilla in the last chance saloon, Chelsea look anything but butch and Gerard Houllier is doing it for the kids.

The world awaited, the nation expected and Manchester crackled with venom. Then the whistle blew, and all we got was 90 minutes of nothing.

We wouldn’t be here without our dads so we opened up the space for readers and writers to say thanks to their dads.