Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

Admired by Johan Cruyff, Ajax’s young Danish superstar is just the player to take Arsenal back into the running for the title next season.

It was 18 years ago today that Eric Cantona reacted to some hideous invective from Crystal Palace fan Matthew Simmons. Some fans were outraged, but to others it enshrined his status as the King of Old Trafford…

Signing Robin Van Persie to c*ck-block Manchester City is certainly an exciting move but he is not the central midfielder Manchester United need.

Carrick was my player of the season for his consistency, Park, Bebe, Anderson and Macheda need shipping out and the gaffer has some questions to answer about his attitude towards the parasitical owners…

Arsenal’s renaissance is in full swing, and M’Vila would add even more steel. Here’s why Wenger should snap him up before the Euros…

Roy Keane’s ghost still haunts Old Trafford, but Manchester United would go some way to exorcising their lightweight demons with the recruitment of Javier Martínez.

Blue was the colour in more than one sense at Stamford Bridge after a pulsating Premier League clash. Turning the air, and feeling, blue, Chelsea dropped down another pedestal whilst the Fergie fightback could not mask a missed opportunity for United.

‘Captain, Leader, Legend’ reads the Stamford Bridge banner tribute to John Terry. ‘Careless, Culpable, Letdown’ is more applicable to his international career however.

Abdur Rehman and Saeed Ajmal’s spin would have had Alastair Campbell gushing as the Pakistanis bamboozled England’s batsmen in the UAE heat. Just one of many who flustered at the crease, Kevin Pietersen’s negligence for an 80-test batsman however has no boundaries.

A win for Liverpool could the catalyst for the club to rise again, and while Rafael was excellent and Smalling and Evans showing promise, De Gea and Evra were the defensive liabilities…

From Bould to Bruce, Parlour to Pallister and Keown to Keane, Arsenal-Manchester United games were once so twisted that the authorities had a moan. Now there’s more chance of conflict within the prawn sandwich brigade.

Watchable and wonderful, this season’s fourth Clásico didn’t disappoint as beauty overcame the beast yet again.

No need to fire up the Delorean or sober up from a suspected acid trip, Paul Scholes is back, scoring for United. The Ginger Geriatric notched his first Old Trafford goal for almost two years to paper over the embarrassment of his return.

Marquee signing or malarkey signing? Frank Lampard would improve a gormless United side if he swapped blue for red, but also illustrates the falling stock of the Old Trafford club.

Different but delightful, zany but zesty. New Girl’s Zooey Deschanel is fancied by men around the globe, yet her looks are the last reason why.

Lightweight, lethargic and lamentable, you’d have found more belief from a group of atheists than the Red Devils on Wednesday night. The Black and Whites left their visitors black and blue after a torrid pummeling.

A macabre comedy that was filmed on a micro-budget over three years ago, Come on Eileen harks back to Ealing’s golden age.

Footballers may be feeling left out as film stars bathe in the acclaim of the awards season, so rather than overlook the precious players here’s the Premier League’s half-term XI report.

Sqaure-pegs-in-round-holes, no schemer, no scrapper and no direction. Rather than lament the pitch, Sir Alex Ferguson should accept the blame for United’s dismal defeat to Blackburn.

Rather than measured Shankly-style support, Liverpool’s public outcry at Luis Suárez’s charge has demeaned English football’s attitude towards racism.

Craving a win at the Cottage to maintain the heat on Manchester City, United supporters traditionally savour a day out in SW6 despite an inauspicious record against Fulham.

A goal and a commanding performance against QPR today for the maligned-Geordie, but can he build on it to become Manchester United’s midfield fulcrum…

Christopher Nolan’s fondness for non-linear narratives was stressed again courtesy of his 2006 magicians masterpiece The Prestige. The film’s final line, in particular, is so enduring that it’s more than just sleight of hand.

The Red Devils suffered Swiss army strife on a rain-sodden night in Basel, and Roy Keane’s evisceration of the young talent was bang on the money…

The Villans lacked any remote villainy in attempting to outdo their visitors on a mild evening at Manchester United’s second home. The Red Devils enjoying a slender stroll on Trinity Road again.

Before showing his true colours as a pantomine villain, Carlos Tévez had a knack for setting Manchester United’s Red Army into raptures. None more so than at Ewood Park one day in April…

Cultured if not combative, Barcelona continue to attempt to revolutionise football to an unconscionably sanitised proportion.

Manchester United were stimulating rather than stultifying in a rare exhibition of excitement in the Champions League’s group stages. But are the European nights amongst the continent’s elite worth it?

A victory it may have been, but the travelling herd of Manchester United supporters weren’t swooning in Swansea.

Two dons guiding two nations with two contrasting opinions dividing them. It’s time for England to support Fabio Capello and for Ireland to hold on to Giovanni Trapattoni.

Under investigation for racially abusing Anton Ferdinand, John Terry was short of sympathisers until the FA emerged to lend a helping hand to the England captain.

The Tiki-Taka purveyors have a rich history of swapping paella for pies, but ahead of England taking on Spain, which Spaniards in England make their way into the Greatest XI?

On Novermber 10th 2009 the German national keeper Robert Enke committed suicide by standing in front of an express train. His death stunned the football world. This heartbreaking biography tells of a life too short.

Celebrating The Empire Strikes Back’s 30th anniversary, George Lucas has been as wise as Yoda in moulding his product juggernaut.

Indiana Jones may be galloping on to the silver screen in the near future, but if he’s to crack his whip again then a dozen lashings are overdue for George Lucas.

As we approach the 50 year anniversary of the James Bond franchise with a brand new film due next year, here’s why Bond apathy should be doused in Martini and set ablaze with a lighter.

Barcelona might have swept all before them last season, but if Guardiola wins the Ballon d’Or coach award ahead of Oscar Tabarez then something is seriously wrong…

Having celebrated his 25th anniversary this week, Fergie will be looking for three points this weekend from his former employee.

Wayne Rooney took centre stage for Manchester United, but is the victim of Sir Alex Ferguson’s square-pegs-in-round-holes tomfoolery.

Pop the corks and pour out the bubbly: it’s Fergie time as Sir Alex celebrates his 25th anniversary at Old Trafford. But the Scot has somehow left a sour taste with Manchester United supporters.

Changes are rife at Manchester United on a game-to-game basis as their very own tinkerman can’t help but weave his wand to a destabilising effect.

The fortunes of Everton and Manchester United couldn’t be further apart in terms of silverware and cash to spend on players but this weekend both clubs will be looking to pick themselves up from demoralising defeats.

Batman returns to the gaming world in Arkham City, a gritty and pulsating thriller that surpasses expectations by catering for the dark demand.

Crazy Claudia Winkleman can’t contain her love of the movies, but her and Film 2011 are as appetising as salted popcorn and Transformers 3.

Sets his house alight with fireworks then leaves Old Trafford on fire with a couple of brilliant goals. Add these latest antics to his missed backheeled showboating and his training top wrestling and we just can’t get enough of the Manchester City maniac.

Once the shock factor was about his private life, now manager of League 2 side Aldershot, Dean Holdsworth is plotting a Cup surprise over wounded tigers Manchester United.

Now that Roberto Mancini has taken the handbrake off, Manchester City have sped past rivals United, whose second gear stagnation culminated in a humbling car crash.

The Glazer family’s takeover of Manchester United was the coup de grâce for many United supporters, and caused an irreparable damage that is swelling rather than subsiding.

Having dominated English football for two decades, Manchester United may have finally met their match in neighbours City.

Europe’s biggest clubs continue to prolong the group stage festering in the Champions League, and Manchester United are one of the most culpable offenders.

Despite a rip-roaring start to the season, the Red Devils have shifted down a gear just as Manchester City have sped past.

England would rather have Wayne Rooney than not, but Uefa have presented Fabio Capello with an opportunity to instigate an exciting future for the Three Lions.

Liverpool and Manchester United were enemies as they went head-to-head for the 183rd time on Saturday, but allies against the Sky Sports juggernaut.

It’s been announced to sniggers that Die Hard 5 will be named A Good Day to Die Hard, so now for your enjoyment here is Hollywood’s 10 other most cringeworthy movie titles.

Manchester United’s three recent treks to Anfield have resulted in successive humiliating defeats. But while Liverpool take home the points, United take home the trophies, reversing the roles of the clubs in the 80s.

It seems you’re much more likely to hear about Rio via Twitter and the tabloids these days, yet his footballing past, present and indeed future should see Ferdinand continuing to lead from the back for club and country.

Manchester United’s brand of football has been wonderful to watch at times this season, but a complacency and a few holes in their squad were showing last night against Basel

A brace against Leeds in midweek had his media chums reaching for the sex wax, but Michael Owen’s performance against Stoke shows he simply isn’t up to it against Premier League opposition…

Mark Stein is the last player to score a winner for Stoke against Manchester United, but why do the residents of ST4 hate the Red Devils so much?

Nani was good and Rooney and Torres the bad and ugly, but the way Chelsea created chances proves that Fergie might live to regret not bolstering his threadbare central midfield…

After deciding to dress as Brian Wilson I inexcusably missed him, but Public Enemy, The Cure and Primal Scream ensured that the Bestival vibrations were good…

If Fergie is going to get the best out of Rooney in Europe he needs to stop playing Wayne at the spearhead of the attack. Capello take note too…

He’s had his knockers over the years, often unfairly, but as his body wilts and his poor passing is exposed, Capello has done the right thing by dropping Frank Lampard

With an all star cast and a buzz around the teaser trailer, the big screen adaptation of John le Carré’s much lauded Cold War novel may just be a defining moment for the glossy remake…

As they always do in September England cruised to a comfortable 3-0 win in Sofia that has all but secured qualification for Euro 2012. Amidst the unsavoury chants and dodgy pitch what did we learn?

David Nicholls’s much-loved ‘One Day’ is the latest novel to undergo the Hollywood treatment. But it looks as though the book’s charm may be lost in translation.

Two years ago he was cast adrift but a goal and an audacious back heel against Spurs prove Danny boy is flying high.

Despite being tormented in the second-half by Manchester United’s young guns, City still have the best midfield in the Premier League…

The summer overhaul is nearly complete and Manchester United will now be looking to replicate last season’s title success. As long as Darren Gibson isn’t shirking responsibility they’ve got every chance.

With Paul Scholes gone from Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur’s Modric is both elegant replacement and the first part of a much-needed world-class midfield…

Long ball humping, no Owen Hargreaves in midfield and only Michael Owen on the bench: it’s not hard to see why the greatest team in the world dispatched this Manchester United side.

Despite the mauling by Barcelona, Manchester United were still a cut above the rest and Fergie handled the Rooney debacle impeccably…

With Nolan beginning work on the final installment of his Batman saga, the stakes have been set very high indeed, but will he fall victim to the curse of the ‘threequel.’

They might play the most beautiful football on the planet, but Barcelona are butchering their reputation with the blatant simulation on show against Real Madrid…