Tim Mileson

Cats pissing on clothes, fried tofu and smoke so thick it's impossible to get a suntan are all par for the course...

So the introductions were as expected. Lots of weirdos. But I liked them. The centre itself was superb. Situated on a main road with the back streets behind it. Real and gritty, yet with students paying a ridiculous sum to be 'taught' our mother tongue.

An Englishman in China attempts to find a gaff and settle with the local culture.

Sick of surviving on dole money, I did absolutely no research and decided to move to China. I hadn't been expecting a fearless welcome, but Christ, I didn't expect what I received.