Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

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Tom Law

Sabotaging since 7 Jul 2010

Tom Law is a freelance writer, journalist and miserablist. He hails from the dirty old town of Wrexham but currently lives somewhere in the South East. He has reported on vandalised park benches, produced a BBC TV show watched by less than 1,000 viewers and spent three months in a Scottish alcohol rehabilitation centre - for research. More can be found here: www.hoofindan.co.uk.

My Articles

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Film

‘The Wire’ is a Waste Of My Time And Yours

Let’s face it - all fiction is nonsense. The Wire, The Sopranos and even Shakespeare are all nothing but nonsense distracting us from real life.

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Life

How City W***ers Ruined Your Half-Time Pie

Your favourite chocolate bar is smaller, your football team is laden with debt and your beloved pie now tastes like it’s been rinsed in sewage. Blame the City, and it’s only going to get worse.

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Video Games

5 Bizarre Video Games That Time Forgot

Games are like movies - the more money you spend, the shitter they’re liable to become. Here’s a list of 5 crazy ideas for a game that time (and everyone else) forgot.

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Hardware

The Drones That Live Under The Sea

You think of drones and you think of flying things, buzzing around in the sky, taking impressive pictures, and firing missiles. But there’s another kind of drone; one that you don’t hear much about – underwater drones.

Video Games

10 Ways To Make Video Games Great Again

A diet of sequels, gimmicky controllers and identikit first-person-shooters has left the video games industry reeling. This is how to fix it…

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Video Games

Top 5 Video Game Nasties That Time Forgot

Dodge arrows to rape and pillage a Native American village, plough your car through pensioners or just twat the screen as hard as you can. Video games - they don’t make ‘em like they used to.

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Life

Midnight Terror: The Story Of Welsh Vigilantes ‘The Scotch Cattle’

They patrolled the Welsh valleys in the early 19th century, reaping havoc in their response to unreasonable working demands. But who were the Scotch Cattle?

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Life

Cachau Bant: Mind Your Language

Angry about the 150 year crushing of his native Welsh language, the writer asks ‘How would you feel if you were made to speak German?’

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Video Games

5 Women From Video Games I Really Fancy

She’s a big blob of yellowness that manages to look sexy, and she’s not the only pixelated princess to get me hornier than a rutting weasel…

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Film

The 5 Greatest Performances In A Hoolie Movie

One of the most overlooked genres in film, the football hooligan romp has produced some of the most memorable film performances ever. Here’s the cream of the crop…

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Video Games

The 5 Football Video Games That Time Forgot

In an age of X-Box live and FIFA 11, it’s easy to forget about football’s computer game roots. Here we salute the genre’s evolution from 8-bit Jimmy Greaves to Game Boy David Beckham

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Music

Mercury Prize 2013: David Bowie Favourite, I Think He’s Rubbish

David Bowie’s comeback album has been nominated for the Mercury Prize, but is it just me who think he’s a bit naff?

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Video Games

Social Gaming - No Thanks

Why forced social interaction is destroying the quiet pleasures of gaming

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Hardware

What’s in the Xbox 720?

Here what the new XBox is going to be running on…

People

Charlie Veitch Interviewed: From Banker To Britain’s Most Wanted Anarchist

Are you one of the growing number of people being made reduntant? You could start signing on, and get to work on your CV.. or you could go the other way and become the UK’s most talked about anarchist. That’s what Charlie Veitch did…

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Social Networking

Is MySpace Back From the Dead?

It’s time to delete those embarrassing accounts from five years ago, because MySpace is back and it’s got a bit of Justin Timberlake all over it…

Hardware

5 Of The Best News Apps For iPhones

There’s an app for everything, and you can practically brush your teeth with your iPhone, but which are the best for hard news?

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Lists

10 Brilliant Songs That Go… La, La, La

Why bother knocking out meaningful lyrics when you can fill up a decent song with ‘La La la’s’. If you don’t like it take it up with Van, Iggy, Weller and Rod.

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Video Games

0x10c: The Insanely Ambitious New Game From The Genius Behind Minecraft

Markus Persson’s Minecraft was the indie gaming hit of the decade. His next project looks even more ambitious…

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Hardware

Wii U: A Distant Second To Your Mobile…For Now

The Nintendo Wii changed everything. Its follow-up has potential but for now you’re better off playing Angry Birds…

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TV

Derren Brown’s Ultimate Trick…

…is gaining acceptance as a man of science and not just another entertaining illusionist.

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TV

Don’t Believe In Derren Brown

Derren Brown wants to be seen as our scientific saviour - his shows position himself as a remarkable self-help guru. Speak to anyone who’s been on his show however, and you’ll see he’s nothing more than a good director of TV….

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Hardware

Wii U Reviewed: How Nintendo Are Turning Innovation Into Stagnation

Nintendo used to be the king of consoles, but with the Wii U their focus has firmly shifted from great gaming to gimmicky, hype-filled marketing. If you’re a serious gamer, then this console just isn’t for you.

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Life

The Wonders Of Wimbledon

You have to love a sports tournament which can send a superstar back to the changing rooms for wearing the wrong coloured shorts. Here’s what we love about Wimbledon…

Hardware

E3 2012 And The Death Of Mainstream Gaming

40 years of game design and innovation has ended in a brown, bloody, shitty sludge where every game involves a tattooed hard-man crouching behind things and shooting people in the face…

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Life

The Hilarity of People Falling Into Water

Get two Brits in the vicinity of a large volume of water and it’s only a matter of time before one of them pushes the other in. But why do we find it so funny?

Life

The Most Ridiculous Racehorse Names in History

Waikikamukau, DoReMiFaSaLaTiDo, The Wife Doesn’t Know and Don’t Tell The Wife - all genuine racehorse names. Here are some of the most hilarious…

Travel

Paying For The Toilet And Standing on The Plane: Budget Airline Getaways

It’s so hot here in England that you might as well stay put, as the hassle of the budget airline getaway is not always worth the flight…

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Hardware

Anders Breivik: Did Call Of Duty Really Influence The Norway Massacre?

The Anders Breivik trial enters its second day, but did a video game really influence last year’s Norwegian massacre?

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People

Hans F Hansen: Scrotum Cream Salesman or The New Hugh Hefner

Famed in the Faroes for scoring against Scotland, the former international footballer now dreams of toppling the Playboy empire.

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Hardware

Football Manager 2012: Miles Jacobson Reveals Why It’s So Addictive

FM12 is launched today.Miles Jacobson, the man behind the world’s most addictive game talks about the new version, the stars who can’t get enough of his ‘glorified spreadsheet’ and the agents who desperately try to get their players stats boosted.

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Life

The iPhone App Conspiracy

They’re killing the web and destroying your soul. Discover the 5 reasons why this writer thinks you shouldn’t bother ever buying an app. (Apart from ours which will be out in a few weeks).

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Hardware

PES 2012 Reviewed: The Best Football Game Ever Created

Football tribalism is not just for the terraces, and the imminent release of Pro Evo Soccer 2012 is due to rile both PES fanatics and the FIFAphiles alike…

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Hardware

World Cup Rugby 2011 Reviewed

With the Rugby World Cup rumbling along in New Zealand here’s a look at whether it’s video game counterpart is worth £40 of your hard-earned cash…

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Hardware

What To Expect From FIFA 12

Football fans crave success. If we can’t get it in reality, then reality can p*ss off because we now have access to an alternate world where supporting a crap, shambolic and skint club is no barrier to success.

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Film

Undercover Boss, Week 5: PR Charade By Britain’s Worst Energy Supplier

Npower undercover boss Kev McCullough took the radical step of donning a red fleece and growing some stubble in an attempt to connect with his staff. Gripping stuff…

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Hardware

Le Tour de France 2011: Created By A Sandal Wearing Crank

Leave Call of Duty. Forget FIFA. If you want a unique gaming experience then the underground world of cycling simulators is where it’s at.

Hardware

F1 2011 Previewed: Even Better Than The Real Thing

I’d prefer to swim with sharks that watch a Grand Prix, but F1 2011 is a belting game, and it means I won’t have to befriend Nige in accounts and start watching Top Gear…

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Hardware

Duke Nukem Forever: About As Entertaining as Bernard Manning

If puerile wisecracks, violence and misogyny are your thing, the return of Duke Nukem should be right up your alley.

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Hardware

Lords Of Football: The Game That Lets You Live The Playboy Players’ Dream

Plans may still be in the early stages, but could this Championship Manager versus The Sims mash up, where you get to recreate the world of these multi-millionaire fuckwits, be the ultimate football game?

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Hardware

LA Noire: The Detective Game That’s Not Much Cop

Rockstar Games, those clever folk behind Grand Theft Auto have just launched a new game which looks ace - like the movie LA Confidential. Unfortunately they forgot to make it any fun to play.

Football

You Can’t Beat A Bit Of Bully, But That Doesn’t Make Darts A Sport

There’s nothing wrong with darts. If you’re in a pub and looking for something to do, other than get pissed; it’s an option. It beats folding up crisp packets into tiny triangles, and it’s cheaper than the trivia machine.

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Life

Top-Tips For Anti-Terrorists

From Frankenbombers and their bums to Al-Qaeda and beyond, it’s a veritable minefield out there. Be safe kids and read this guide to combating the terrorists

Football

The Shit Hits The Fan

Exactly when did we all become 3D-loving, replica shirt-wearing, insurance selling, dodgy owner accepting soccer sheep? How old school football fans lost their identity and became consumers.

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People

‘Ow Do, Allan

An appreciation of Alan Beswick, the flame-haired radio presenter who inspired and verbally abused the masses in 1980s Britain, or at least the North West.

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