While the weather’s been miserable at Edgbaston, I’m glad that my #tufferstales Twitter competition, asking fans for their own funny cricket stories in a single tweet, brought a bit of sunshine. Here’s my top 10 and a selection from hundreds of others that made me titter. And I thought I was bad… !
The 10 winners…
[Editor’s note: The tweets’ spelling and punctuation are entrants’ own]
Tom Bell @TomRBlike
Here in Oz, went to see a mates 20/20. the keepers goat was fielding at mid wicket tied to a pole.
Paul Freary @Thewhitepele83
lad cudn’t make gam because the rag and bone mans horse had died in his street and was blocking his car in
Tom Davies @tommyballack92
A castle by our pitch, olde tourney took place bowler ran in to a drumroll ball was hit for six as cannon went off
Once bowled an opening over with a scarecrow at second slip before batsman realised. Had to play remainder with 10 men
Rob Lisney @waltlisney
Playing next to a wedding reception middle aged female streaker accosts our keeper removed by unimpressed husband
Will Purser @purse_w
1st team debut at 14 against my dad, got him out ct behind not given, headline in local paper ‘my dad’s a cheat!’
Tom Smith @tomedsmith
School cricket. Realised we had no boxes for kids, only Tesco open at 7am. Ended up with car sponges and white pants. We lost.
Shirly Moose @shirlymoose
Had to remove a car on bricks from the square in Salford before play. Fielders shot at by air guns. We won
Alec Linsley @AlecLinsley
No 11 left his Sunday dinner in his bag after the last game of the season and forgot until the 1st game of the next one!
Andy Slee @aps280265
our opening batsman played against docs orders 1 week after vasectomy. Hit square in box second ball.
The best of the rest…
Wearside Jack @WearsideJack1
Joel Garners nutsack hit me in the forehead when I got in his way as he ran off the pitch after playing at jesmond in the 70s
Chris Townsend @fcc5206
old boy playing for us chasing towards the boundary as the batsmen come back for their sixth so he kicked it over
Jon Bird @jonopub
playing on a village green, play stopped while umpire had a row with traffic warden, still got ticket 5 overs lost
Tom Overton @Thomasfrombrum
took carpet from hotel in Rawalpindi England in world cup 1996. Took it to sit on in ground and nearly caused riot #prayermat
Chris Mumford @ChrisMumford99
After missing tea once I went out to umpire and accidentally threw a pork pie to the bowler instead of the new ball
Stephen Mellowes @stevie_mellowes
2nd’s short. Capt. ropes in neighbour to play. Old boy turns up 2 hours late was waiting for his racing pigeons to come home
David Green @davidgreen26
A young boy drafted in was at 3rd man. Ball to 3rd man, boy not there. He was in the hedge building a den!
Rhys Laverty @IfADoubleDecker
Lodged ball in air vent playing in church hall. Air con turns on Sunday morning, shoots out into congregation
Paul Ryan @paulrhino1975
at a game where the wkt was rolled tween innings by a car pullin a roller & toilets had a ‘no intravenous drugs’ sign
Jon Room @jonroom
shot short of boundary, dogs runs on, fielder too scared 2 get the ball, batsmen run 6, dog carries ball over, umps gives a 4!
Needing one more wicket for promotion, ‘our’ umpire appealed and gave out their last batsman lbw!
Peter Finch @peterfinch46
Skipper in slips appealed for catch having heard leather on wood, ball had hit openers wooden leg, entire team collapsed in fits
Geraldine King @mammabear28
Just passed driving test went to see hubbie in match, game stopped as both teams watched my pathetic attempts to turn car round
Malcolm Marshall opposition Pro! Sat in trees with tea lady’s pots & pans creating a Caribbean atmosphere
Ian Mote @ianinshanghai
Opening bat ran out first ball going for a second run. Out for a golden single!!
Jonny G Forrester @jonnyfez84
Overseas pro parked his new BMW behind sightscreen to avoid the ball only for the wind to blow screen onto the car
we had a side 9 down when a guy on a bike who stopped to watch padded up n batted, name in the book A. Cyclist
Duncan Brace @DuncanBrace
Fire stopped play when umpires discarded cigarette landed in non strikers old horse hair stuffed pads, minor burns
Luke Butler @butlabrown
Spin bowler asked to bowl around the wicket and the umpire turned and asked him ‘do you want to come inside me?’
Follow Tuffers on Twitter @philtufnell for more #tufferstales madness
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