Life Archives - Sabotage Times

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FRESH Life

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Just Giving? Just Blagging In The Name Of Charity, More Like

You know what really winds me up? Rich children who believe that they are creating ‘positive effective change’ in the world by getting their parents, friends and relatives to open their considerable wallets to fund banterrific trips and holidays.

4 Comments Billy Pilgrim

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Why I Hate Horse Racing

Booze, bets, bruisers and crap horses, just another day at the races.

3 Comments Troy Speer

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Narco-Submarines Of The Colombian Jungle

Deep in the mangroves of the Bogota jungle, drug dealers are putting the final touches on a 30 foot submarine, built entirely in the swamps for the sole purpose of smuggling large quantities of cocaine across American waters...

3 Jake Hanrahan

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How To Survive In The Countryside

The countryside is like one big retirement community, full of bridge clubs and pensioners afraid for their Royal Wedding commemorative crockery. Should you ever find yourself there, here are a few tips.

3 Dennis Mooney

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Klay Anthony Rooney And My Obsession With People's Daft Names

Wayne and Coleen Rooney have already taken stick for naming their second son Klay. But not me, it's right up my street...

88 Nick Moore

RECENTLife

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It's Easier To Pull When You're Married Because Women Hate Each Other

Let's face it, there can't really be any other reason for it...

17 Henry Jennings

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How Sex And The City Made Me An Existentially Vacuous C*nt

Jenni Davies tried out every Sex and the City character from Carrie, to Samantha, Charlotte and finally Miranda but did it make her happy? With a...

45 Jenni Davies

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Confessions Of A Prisoner: First Day In A New Cell

Plenty of bad things happen in prison, few compare to the horrors of moving...

11 Guy Linott

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Why Can’t I F*cking Sleep?

You thought the recession was bad? Try being sleep bankrupt. I've even counted Kardashians but nothing will cure this bloody insomnia...

18 Lucy Cheek

Adventures in Offal: The Anatomy of Pigs' Feet

You might not be on Porky Pig's xmas card list afterwards, but if you've got the stomach for it, why not cook up some delicious pigs' feet, you swine.

2 Comments Daniel Neilson

Playing Away: The Married Dating Sites Capitalising On Football Widows

And why blokes should really be encouraging their women to get a hobby...

5 Comments Bea Appleby

A Gentile’s Guide To Jewish Mamas

The wonderful world of Jewish culture was somewhat thrust upon me when I met my future (Jewish) boyfriend on the tr...

Rebecca Pearson

Why The Jobcentre Is The Worst Place To Go For A Job

The people are the primary resource of a country, and many of Britain’s are being squandered in dead end jobs in ...

14 Comments Will Worley

Dogs In Pubs

What makes our traditional British pubs so great? Well, a pub dog for a start.

58 Comments Keith Wildman

MORELife

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The London Rental Market Is Completely Out Of Control

For London’s landlords and estate agents the streets might as well be paved with gold because they contain herds of walking, talking mugs who a...

6 Alistair Steward

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Diary Of A Breast Cancer Patient #1: The Perils Of Google Before Surgery

Angelina Jolie has just had a double masectomy to avoid breast cancer - here a patient reveals what she's hopefully successfully swerved.

1 Lorna King

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The Life And Death Of Las Vegas's Greatest Casino

Not only Sin City's first themed casino, The New Frontier hosted Elvis, Liberace, The Supremes and has seen all sorts of debauched action along t...

1 Gavin Martin

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Selfie Culture: Are We Are All Boring Narcissists Now?

'Selfies' are killing culture and turning us all into wanky narcissists...

7 Lucy Uprichard

5 Ways To Approach Women Without Coming Across Like A Perv

Grabbing arses doesn't work, buying us a drink doesn't mean you've purchased us and shouting 'I WOULD' is not the best chat up line... follow this guide to attracting women without being a tool...

36 Comments Daisy Buchanan

Alien Technology, The Priest and The Spy

An ex-secret intelligence officer shares his story of dodgy priests and bizarre alien technology that you need top ...

16 Comments Case Officer X

Having Problems With Our Website? Then Check Out Our Tumblr

There are gremlins in our machine. If the site is running too slow for you fast cats check our tumblr.

1 Comment Sabotage

I'm Addicted To Starting Fist Fights

Most people will do everything they can to avoid getting into a physical altercation, however I'm a different breed...

16 Comments James Watkinson

Mozart Estate: Westminster's Secret Ghetto

The Mozart estate sits at the heart of Queen’s Park ward in Westminster. The area is home to 11,355 people, squee...

4 Comments Alan White

MORELife

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The Perfect Cup Of Tea

There are many ways to brew a cup of tea, most of them are wrong. Avoid the pitfalls, the classic mistakes and even take a moment to see how Geor...

26 Adam Sutherland

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Urbex: Exploring The Depths Of Derelict Hell Holes

Whilst we sleep, people all over the world are sneaking into abandoned mental asylums, storm drains and secret military installations, all in the...

24 Jake Hanrahan

Superscreen: The Best Radio Commercial Ever

When the gaffer of Superscreen was unhappy with a radio jingle script, he wrote it himself and locked the staff in the office until midnight...

15 Russ Litten

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Cycling in London:
The Rules

Cycling tips for the Big Smoke: Don't take out pregnant women, love thy neighbour and forget about shouting at cars, you'll look like a penis. We...

82 Lee Mannion

Women Are Worshipping The Wrong Role Models

Some may say that women are obsessed with female role models, but I disagree, I just think we're not emulatingthe r...

15 Comments Emily Reynolds

Datura: The Scariest Drug I've Ever Taken

These herbal cigarettes might cure your asthma but they'll blind you for three days in the process.

14 Comments Sean Flynn

All The Fun Of The Arms Fair

Some time ago, I covered a UK arms fair for a magazine. I never thought you could have so much fun with a laser-sig...

1 Comment Sean Flynn

Confessions of A Mongrel

I've got a Fillipina Mum, a white Dad, freckles, Asian eyes was born in Barnet and identify myself as British. But ...

18 Comments Jo Fuertes-Knight

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Girls! We Need To Talk About The Thigh Rub

It happens to nearly everyone but why does nobody talk about it? The thigh rub is hell and we need to do something about it...

9 Lauren Bravo

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The Ghosts Of The Pacific

The islands and sealanes of the Pacific were scenes of bloody air battles 60 years ago. Now teams comb the steamy jungle to unearth the historic aircraft relics, untouched for decades.

3 Len Adams

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Russia's Flesh Eating Heroin And Other Seriously Bad Drugs

From the dirty concoction that turns people into real life zombies through to lethal prescription highs, here are the drug world's scariest players.

10 Jo Fuertes-Knight

Inside The Sicilian Mafia's Drug Empire

Hidden amongst lush tangerine orchards in 1970s Sicily lay the heart of Michele 'The Pope' Greco's drugs empire...

4 Comments Bluto Ray

Food Porn & 37 Other Foodie Words That Make Me Choke

I love food it's ace, but why feel the need to make it shit with loads of wanky sayings? If you've ever said 'Pimms...

16 Comments Melissa Foodie

Confessions Of A Coke Dealer, part 3: Brighton Rocks

Ignore the dealers' golden rule 'don't get high on your own supply' at your peril as we blaze a trail of lies and d...

8 Comments The Cat in The Hat

My Lady Garden Dilemma: To Wax Or Not To Wax

Spend any amount of time in the company of well groomed naked women and you're going to start questioning your hair...

8 Comments Juliet Du Vivier

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