Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

The Greggs Breakfast Roll: An Appreciation

by Tom Armstrong
29 December 2013 3 Comments

The Pasty Tax maybe casting a shadow over the world of baked goods, but Greggs has a saviour, in pastry form.


You can’t help but admire some people’s front. Greggs, the high street crusader for the working man’s grub, whose directors would sooner have chained themselves to the gates of parliament in the name of honestly priced hot food than let the government introduce the evil ‘Pasty Tax‘, last week announced that they were reducing the size of their pastries, while increasing the price.

Of course my initial reaction was to storm into my local branch and demand to speak to Gregg. Maybe ring up a few local anarchists and get some banners painted, throw some iced buns around. That’s the problem when bakers start getting political you see, rhetoric as empty as their ant-infested cake tins after a long day ripping off customers.


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Greggs have an ace up their sleeve however: the sausage, bacon and egg roll. No amount of bad press can deter me from these wonders of the cheap breakfast age. Identical to the traditional sausage roll to the naked eye, but the latticed arms of this pastry lovingly cradle a strip of processed and delicious bacon, omelette and pork meat.

The combined feeling of guilt and joy while tucking in to our £1s worth of processed shit is something unique to modern man. Try explaining that feeling to our Nineteenth Century counterparts – eating something we know is terrible, and will make us feel worse, and is made up of very little which could be considered food, but relishing in the feeling, “It’s a bit like drinking typhoid water because you like the taste.” Hats off to Greggs, all is forgiven, McDonalds had better up their breakfast game.

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

leftboot 2:35 pm, 18-Apr-2013

Its a God job i'm anonymous here. I must confess I too love the greasy bastards. The local bakers does a pork and apple roll. The two shops are the exact distance apart to eat a pork and apple roll, wipe your fingers, and pass Greggs. Or not pass greggs. I'm going to be well fat

Starving 12:04 am, 19-Apr-2013

Greggs do a breakfast roll? Oh man, may have to do a diversion on way to work now. At least I will be able to walk off one or to of the million calories on the way back....

flick 12:27 pm, 18-May-2014

I walked into my local branch yesterday for my occasional breakfast treat only to find that Greggs have withdrawn this product nationwide as it was not selling well. Why??? Has to be one of the tastiest things I've ever had from them

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