2014 World Cup - Day Two Digest: 'BRAZIL CARNIVAL SEX PELE'

Welcome to the Sabotage Times World Cup daily digest, your guide to anything and everything from the previous day of tournament football. Today, we look back on the ten things we learnt from the opening ceremony and the curtain raiser between hosts Brazil against Croatia.
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Welcome to the Sabotage Times World Cup daily digest, your guide to anything and everything from the previous day of tournament football. Today, we look back on the ten things we learnt from the opening ceremony and the curtain raiser between hosts Brazil against Croatia.

2014 World Cup - Day Two Digest: 'BRAZIL CARNIVAL SEX PELE'

1 - “People say AHHHHH BRAZIL CARNIVAL SEX PELE” is already the best World Cup vine

2 - Splicing commentary from Rugby League on top of Football is absolutely hilarious

3 - More poor refereeing spoilt Mexico vs Cameroon

Tottenham legend Giovani Dos Santos should be the joint top scorer of the 2014 World Cup, but, he isn’t. Why? Because somehow, he had two perfectly good headed goals wrongfully chalked out against Cameroon while the scores were still at 0-0. Luckily, Mexico got the win they were after, but only by a one goal margin. Here’s the thing: how annoyed are Mexico allowed to be if they’re to be knocked out on goal difference? 3-0 when you’ve only got three group matches to play is a massive bonus, and poor refereeing has robbed them of that. Two opening games in a row now the officiating has left a sour taste in the mouth afterward, spoiling the spectacle, so hopefully this is the last time we’ll have to complain about it.

4 - Cameroon are the worst team we’ve seen at the tournament so far

Genuinely terrible. They looked disorganised, they looked unadventurous going forwards, they looked leaky at the back - this might actually be the worst Cameroon team to ever qualify for the World Cup finals. Eto’o seems to have more authority than the manager, which isn’t just mad, but also an entirely unhealthy way to conduct yourself at a tournament. They’ll finish bottom of their group without a doubt, most likely with no points to show for themselves, either.

5 - The rumours are right, Louis Van Gaal really goes have massive balls

5-1 against the World Champions, FIVE goals to ONE - and they went behind to start off with! Louis Van Gaal must have been giving Manchester United fans around the world throbbing wood by tactically dismantling a Spanish side that have ruled supreme for the better part of a decade. He’d lost his key player in Kevin Strootman, and decided to tear up the foundations of his side and start again, deploying an attacking 3-5-2, with Robben, Van Persie and Sneijder his star studded front three. The key player on the night, Daley Blind, was unbelievable as the left wing-back, with Aston Villa’s Ron Vlaar putting in a commanding performance in the heart of the defence, which isn’t what anyone was expecting to see, I don’t think.

6 - Questions have to be asked of Vicente Del Bosque’s squad selection this time around

Spain’s success over recent years was born from their ability to throw out their old guard and have faith in the new, vibrant sides in 2008 and 2010 taking tournaments by storm was no mistake. However, ageing players on the decline have been picked rather than younger players with more promise, Spain keep winning youth tournaments at will, so the talent they have in reserve is hardly hiding. Casillas is no longer the same San Iker we once knew, Xavi no longer has the influence he had a few years ago, and Iniesta is being forced in to a forward position rather than being allowed to influence the game from a deeper midfield role. David Villa and Fernando Torres being in the squad while Isco is sat at home and Pedro is sat on the bench is non-sensical. This is a huge moment for Spain, tiki-taka isn’t dead, but the way they’re executing it at present is.

7 - BBC > ITV

Thank god for the BBC’s World Cup coverage. Thierry Henry and Rio Ferdinand have been excellent pundits so far, if not entirely charismatic, and even Alan Shearer has been somewhat bearable too. Over on ITV, we have Chiles chipping away at your joy, interrupting Cannavaro and Viera to cross live to Lee Dixon and Ian Wright. We have the likes of Clarke Carlisle and Andy Townsend commentating, which make Mark Lawrenson’s style of constant complaint a welcome relief. The more games we can watch on the BBC, the better.

8 - Chile are incredibly exciting to watch going forward in attack

In less than 15mins, Chile were already 2-0 up against Australia, flooding forward at every chance that they could get, Vidal, Alexis, Valdivia and Vargas working in wonderful unison. Disappointingly,  they went off the boil after the second, allowing Australia back in to the game, finishing them off late on with a third goal. They can though, play much better, and with games against the Netherlands and Spain to come, they’ll have to be at their very best to test them and win. Valdivia is an amazing number ten when he wants to be, and similar to Juan Roman Riquelme, is a South-American playmaker of the highest order who has missed his chance to be a world star by making a huge success of himself in Europe, just as his teammate Alexis Sanchez has.

9 - Australia aren’t there to just be pushed over, and they might have a bright future ahead

2-0 down in under 15mins, Australia looked like they were going to be an absolute pushover. However, when Chile took their foot entirely off the proverbial pedal, Australia came back in the match with all of their might. Tim Cahill did the most Tim Cahill thing possible, but timing his run and jump perfectly, heading his side to within one goal of Chile. He almost did the same thing later on to equalise, but was, for once, rightly judged to have been offside. They battled, they scored, they tested and they made a game out of what could have been an embarrassment. Australia are a very young side, and if they can keep this mentality while they progress as a team and mature as players, they might have a bright future ahead of them.

10 - Three top class competitive football matches a day is an incredible way to spend a day

Starter, main course and dessert. Beginning, middle and end. All the best things come in threes, and now, so do World Cup matches. By the time the first game has finished, the second isn’t far behind. And then, as that game comes to a close, it hits you - THERE’S STILL ANOTHER GAME TONIGHT AT 11PM! It is literally one of the greatest feelings in the world for football fans to have the game thrown at you in every which way as much as possible. Sometimes, on the odd weekend, Sky might have three games on a Super Sunday, but one of those is inevitably something like Stoke vs West Ham, which isn’t so much a spectacle as it is punishment. Every game in the World Cup is a spectacle, and we should all quite happily let it take over our lives.