25 Funny Tommy Docherty Quotes Chelsea And Man Utd Fans Must See

Words of wisdom from 'The Doc' on his 87th birthday.
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Words of wisdom from 'The Doc' on his 87th birthday.

25. On his career: "I’ve had more clubs than Jack Nicklaus."

24. On his reputation: "I've been called a sadist, a sergeant major, a Glasgow tough who lashes his players. I'm not in the game to make friends."

23. On the pressure at Manchester United: "I don't think Henry Kissinger would have lasted 48 hours at Old Trafford."

22. On the finest player he ever saw: "You can keep all your Bests, Peles and Maradonas, Duncan Edwards was the greatest of them all."

21. On Chelsea: "Chelsea is my club. I won’t have a bad word said against them. I love the Bridge. I go five or six times a year and they’re brilliant to me."

20. On Ray Wilkins: "He can't run, he can't tackle and he can't head the ball. The only time he goes forward is for the toss."

19. On growing up in Glasgow: "I remember this about the Gorbals. If you wanted a new pair of shoes you went down the swimming baths in bare feet and just nicked a pair."

18. On Lorenzo Amoruso: "Somebody compared him to Billy McNeil, but I don’t remember Billy being crap."

17. On his forwards: "Our strikers couldn’t score in a brothel."

16. On his former QPR chairman Jim Gregory: "When you shook hands with him, you counted your fingers."

15. On how the game should be played: "Football wasn't meant to be run by linesmen and air traffic control."

14. To his chairman at Chelsea: "Mr Chairman, when I want your advice I'll give it to you."

13. On Jimmy Hill: "He was probably one of the worst players I’ve ever seen. He once said to me: ‘I’m good in the air.’ I replied: ‘So was Douglas Bader.’"

12. On Aston Villa: "Villa have amazing support. If you hung 11 Villa shirts on a washing line five thousand fans would turn up to watch them."

11. On celebrity football club ownership: "Elton John decided he wanted to rename Watford and call it Queen of the South."

10. On Barry Ferguson: “He had no pace. I’ve seen malt turn quicker.”

9. On compensation: "They offered me a handshake of £10,000 to settle amicably. I told them that they would have to be a lot more amicable than that."

8. On modern players: "I’ve seen some recently who could trap a ball further than I could kick it. When they pass it, they should attach this message: ‘To whom it may concern!’ And they’re getting 50 grand a week and upwards."

7. On Jimmy Johnstone: "On my first day as Scotland manager I had to call off practice after half an hour, because nobody could get the ball off wee Jimmy Johnstone."

6. On surviving in management: "People ask me what makes a great manager and I say it is good players. Crap players get you the sack, it's as simple as that."

5. On the best player in the world: "Lionel Messi is an immature Tom Finney."

4. On Manchester City: "There are three types of Oxo cubes. Light brown for chicken stock, dark brown for beef stock and light blue for laughing stock."

3. On getting rid of George Best: "George just kept on going missing at the time - Miss America, Miss Canada, Miss Great Britain."

2. On the media: "I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet."

1. On being sacked by Manchester United after having an affair with the physio’s wife (who he later married): "I’m the only manager to be sacked for falling in love."

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