36 Funny Alan Brazil Quotes Every Football Fan Will Love

The best moments from the giant of sports radio.
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The best moments from the giant of sports radio.

36. "Some of the Scotland players need to look themselves in the face."

35. "Brendan Rodgers has been singing the praises of Suarez and Sturridge – the SS."

34. "He’s put the cat among the bags there."

33. "I wonder how Villa would fare with such injuries. It would be like them missing young Barry Milner… er sorry, misread that, I mean Young, Barry and Milner."

32. "I’m not going to single individuals out but Yakubu has missed loads of great chances."

31. "I have seen players sent off for far worse offences than that."

30. Alan Brazil: "I was sad to hear yesterday about the death of Inspector Morse, TV’s John Shaw."

Mike Parry: "John Thaw, Alan."

Alan Brazil: "Do you know, I’ve been doing that all morning. John, if you’re listening, sorry mate."

29. "Jose Mourinho is starting to annoy me - I'm getting a bit fobbed off with him."

28. "Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don’t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith’s."

27. "Belgium’s not a hotpot of international football."

26. "Reading have got amazing teamship."

25. "To be honest, the game was a bit of a damp squid."

24. "They gave the Serbian FA a poultry fine."

23. "In their last four Blackburn have lost 3-0, 3-1, 5-3 and 3-2. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that's 12 goals conceded."

22. "Sly Stallone will be at Everton promoting his new film, Rocky Bilbao."

21. "Paolo Di Canio is one picnic short of a hamper."

20. "Levante have gone fourth in Serie A. If anyone can tell me what part of Italy Levante is in, please call. I've no idea."

19. "Tony Adams is braised for rejection by Arsenal."

18. "The tackles are coming in thick and thin."

17. "With the greatest possible respect, Luis Garcia is a tart."

16 . "Let's hope it's not a case of sore grapes."

15. "Liverpool have won seven of their last 11 Premiership derbies with Everton. But that form goes out of the window when it comes to a derby."

14. "Sam Allardyce has backed the FA’s decision to overturn the referee."

13. "There's a good-feel factor about Sheffield Wednesday."

12. "Clint Dempsey scored a last-minute winner to earn Tottenham a 1-1 draw against United."

11. "Some players need a boot up their backside. Other players need the arm."

10. Alan Brazil: "I remember, more than the cup final, the semi-final v West Brom at Highbury. That was one hell of a game."

Co-host: "3-1 wasn’t it?"

Alan Brazil: "I can’t remember."

9. "Chelsea have to play Sunday night - the FA won't bulge."

8. "Van Persie will play against Milan... no youngster wants to miss out on playing in the Nou Camp."

7. "It’s 6.45… coming up to a quarter to seven."

6. "John Cross is feeling very boyish about Arsenal's chances."

5. "The man is United. Cut him and he bleeds red."

4. "I saw Real Madrid the other week, against Gaddafi."

3. "In the papers this morning: 'Police closing in on Ian Holloway.' Sorry… it's 'Palace closing in on Ian Holloway.’"

2. "I wouldn't touch Chimbonda with a barn door."

1. And one that’s so good that you really need to hear it...

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