Meet The Four Forces That Will Resurrect Leeds United
Massimo Cellino, maverick sheriff, shooting from the lip.
Let me tell you something, when Massimo launches a charm offensive his is smoother than Smoothie McSmooth on a smooth day and more powerful than a force of nature powered by a plethora of metaphors, my friends.
No doubt there will be a Cellino-fest held in the boardroom in the East Stand for Phil Hay of the Yorkshire Evening Post, Adam Pope of Radio Leeds & LUTV to be broadcast at some point before the season kicks off.
Already in the last few days the wolves of Fleet Street have published positive pieces in the Mail, Mirror [albeit written by a Leeds fan] and the Guardian.
In this latest volley of consciousness Cellino has confirmed his pledge to buy back Elland Road by November when the current rental period expires; rumours that his offer was £7M, a consignment of fine Italian wine, meats & cheeses from Silvio of Sardinia and a go on the bought b****s of choice is unsubstantiated, but it’s progress. He also stated forcibly that he wants four more players in before Saturday.
Nicola Salerno, player finder extraordinaire.
Leeds have been linked with more footballers than Danielle Lloyd this summer and lets face it more sportsmen have run through her than the finishing line of the London Marathon.
The common theme has been young, hungry, mainly unknown to the general British football public.
The results so far have been spectacular with each new recruit substantially better than the one he replaced. Silvestri, Bianchi, Berardi & Doukara are all good technically and add quality to the squad.
We still need more solidity and steel at the back, more fantasy & invention in midfield and pace and goals in attack. These final pieces of the jigsaw will make us contenders.
The final raft of signings in the offing includes a great Dane of a centre back from Juventus, a Slovenian wonder kid from Milan, a grizzled centre back from Cardiff, a Gaul hungry for English goals and maidens, and a tricky winger from Padova.
David Hockaday & Junior Lewis, surprise package.
Hock & Junior came into Leeds looking like competition winners and have emerged as proper football men with a plan which has been effectively put into action.
Leeds United have been transformed into a team who press, work hard with the ball and when they get it pass, pass, pass and move in a way more pleasing on the eye than anything seen at Elland Road than Eleonora’s peekaboo selfie featuring her exquisite arse.
Hock has morphed from an awkward, staccato speaker to a lucid message deliverer as his nerves have been replaced by confidence in what he is trying to achieve, supported by the squad.
Hock & Junior have reinvigorated the old players, integrated the new foreign ones and a strong element of youth educated up through the Academy.
Pre-season has got the players fitter, leaner and more together than they have looked for years.
The squad looks integrated, they work for each other, understand the system and appear to enjoy playing.
Hock must be using Google Translate as much as the fans to get his message across but it sure as hell appears to be working.
The fans are the club, the only constant in a sea of change, they want to see players who have pride in the shirt, who give 100%, who tackle back and yes, in Hock speak “put in a shift”.
We will support a team who deliver proper performances, we crave a team to be proud of.
It looks like the fab four of Cellino, Salerno, Hock & Junior and the fans are marching on together to a bright, white future.
Come on Leeds!