An Ode To Bolton Wanderers vs Sunderland

In a bid to bring a bit of culture to the Premier League, I've decided to preview Sunderland vs Bolton Wanderers in the form of a poem. Eat your heart out current Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy.
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In a bid to bring a bit of culture to the Premier League, I've decided to preview Sunderland vs Bolton Wanderers in the form of a poem. Eat your heart out current Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy.

404

Oh, come on Owen. Its not THAT bad...

It's Bolton Wanderers v Sunderland at the Reebok, but who will gain poetic justice?

Oh Reebok, how we love thee, even when October winds take hold.
As the ever loyal throng, stride purposely into the cold.
Akin to a Lowry landscape, the faithful trek on for their fix.
Hoping to see an end to a losing home run of six.

Never mind that the pies will be gristly, that the ale will be lukewarm and flat.
That the replica shirts will be straining, covering endless layers of fat.
And this lower-rate wannabe poet will grasp at any trite stereotype
Just to put off the inevitable, avoiding a long list of gripes.

With wide-open arms we offer a warm welcome to our Mackem mates.
They turn up in their droves, adding thousands to a nice healthy gate.
Like red and white clad Vikings, they stride purposely into our town.
Taking over our pubs and drinking our ale, to a chorus of raucous sounds.

On the pitch they’re in a right pickle, underachieving in a major way.
Their star striker prefers the sun, or is it the cash? It’s so hard to say.
The team is a little disjointed, lack of direction, talent or grace?
Or does the blame lie with the gaffer, he of the big fat pie face?

But their woes are completely their issue, God knows we’ve enough of our own.
Things would be much worst right now, if it hadn’t been for Wigan’s horror show.
Some Keystone Cops defending gifted us 3 points – a rare win.
Another is vital from this one, or the good mood will start wearing thin.

There should be no need to tinker, the team now has balance, it’s neater.
Aided by the introduction of our star names – Pratley, Eagles and Wheater.
OK, so they’re unlikely to trouble the PFA end of year polls,
But they’ve brought something different to the table, hard working and trustworthy souls.

And there’s something that I have just noticed, an omission for which I am sorry.
That’s what happens when typing this crap whilst ogling Tina from Corrie.
There aren’t any funnies in here, but it’s hard trying to ape Peter Kay
When one knows that the game will be rotten, filling last slot on MOTD.

So to end this meandering dog s***, I’d better predict the final score.
A much welcome win came last Saturday, this game will bring us one more.
Sticking 2 past the Black Cats, they won’t offer up a reply.
Petrov and Klasnic will rip off the net, the neutrals will be glad this isn’t on Sky…

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