Arsenal Fan: Why I Want Spurs To Beat Chelsea In The League Cup Final

Not quite #COYS
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Not quite #COYS

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Arsenal Fan: Why I Want Spurs To Beat Chelsea In The League Cup Final

As an Arsenal fan, I hate Tottenham Hotspur, I really do. I also hate Chelsea, but in a different way. It’s these differing feelings toward the two clubs that has prompted me to dislike the image of Harry Kane holding the League Cup aloft a lot less than the nightmarish vision of Diego Costa doing the same.

When it comes to Spurs, it’s hard to actually feel angry if they do something ‘good’. It’s more a feeling of “aw, isn’t that nice? Good for them. The little bastards.” Sorry for sounding like a condescending prick, but I’ve grown up with Spurs being the worse out of the two North London sides. Chelsea, on the other hand, provoke more of a deep, stirring anger in the pit of my gut. For me, and I’m sure for many other fans, they are as good a symbol of how the beautiful game has become turned ugly as any. And I’m not just talking Diego Costa’s aesthetics, with his face like it was moulded in Lake Springfield (formerly cess hole 17A and home to the three-eyed fish).

Who’s The Boss?

The Spurs big-wigs, or no-wigs in Levy’s case, seem to rotate their managers more than their managers rotate players. Even plucky Tim Sherwood and his 59% win ratio which really was “second to none”, couldn’t avoid being spurned. Instead, Spurs turned to Mauricio Pochettino, who did a great job at Southampton, is a progressive young manager and has a name that is annoyingly satisfying to say. The Argentine took a while to get things going, but he now seems to be more comfortable and the team actually look ok. Yes, they’re still prone to collapse as most Spurs sides are, but overall ‘Poch’ is doing a good job in his first season. Pochettino deserves the League Cup, it’s good for his CV which, being a Spurs manager, he may well need to crack out again soon.

Jose Mourinho is a good manager, a great leader and an imperious cock. His record speaks for itself and there’s no denying that when it comes to getting the job done by any means necessary, including the infamous ‘parking the bus’, he’s your man. But this season, his arrogance seems to have extended beyond self-righteous egoisms of specialness and has developed into a narrative-building defence mechanism that yells “campaign!” whenever you get near him. Mourinho’s paranoia seems to stem from a fear of losing control, which he already is with his beloved English media. His dissociative approach to making examples is really starting to look a bit silly. Although, it makes for good entertainment and to see him fail to win the least impressive trophy on offer at the final hurdle would open the door to some fresh material.


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Kane-tucky Fried Costa

I would firstly like to congratulate Harry Kane for being chosen as England’s beacon of false hope for 2015. Before any knickers are twisted, England’s hope is almost always false, no matter how bright the chosen beacon may be. Kane has done very well indeed. He’s proven there’s more to him than being a Belieber and creating an opportunity to use awful ‘HurriKane’ puns. He seems to have progressed at an alarmingly fast rate, from really, really bad to “this bloke might actually be good at football”. I wonder if he’s been using the same gear as Gareth Bale.

If Harry Kane is Spurs white knight, then Diego Costa is Chelsea’s blue bastard. I like South American players a lot, I find the grit and determination they use in tandem with their flair is a refreshing combination. However, Costa doesn’t have grit and he definitely doesn’t have flair. He has an unrelenting desire to destroy everything in his path. What’s that saying? ‘In order to build, you must first destroy.’ What a load of rubbish. In Costa’s case it’s more like, ‘in order to score, you must first stay on the pitch despite crushing a bloke’s larynges and then have everything laid on a plate by players who are actually good at football.’ Harsh? I think that’s how Diego likes it. I’ll take a bloke who looks like he shouldn’t be any good at football with a funny voice over that Brazilian brute any day of the week.

Every Dog Has Their Day, If There’s A Day Left To Be Had

Spurs have it pretty rough. In the least patronizing way one can possibly convey over cyberspace, I feel for them. They rarely ever do anything of note and even when they do, it’s more ripples than shockwaves. A DVD is the closest thing to a legacy Spurs sides have come to in recent history. For Spurs to beat this very strong Chelsea side at Wembley in a cup final would be a big achievement. It’d probably be bigger than the actual winning of the cup that nobody really seems to care about. If I ignore that it’s Spurs for a moment and imagine I’m an actual neutral with no bias, it’s good for football when that sort of thing happens.

However, because of clubs like Chelsea, that sort of thing tends to happen less and less these days and that pattern will continue until all of football is dominated by clubs that have the financial means and thus power to influence and manipulate the game and it’s governing bodies whichever what way suits. The mirky water that is Chelsea’s ownership and related transactions is not the tip of an iceberg, but the roots of an poison ivy that is suffocating the world of football by monopolising certain areas. As much as I hate Spurs, Chelsea, to me, are the true evil that I can’t stand to see prevail.