Arsenal: Sign Schweinsteiger, Cry If Giroud Is Our Main Striker

Apparently we're after some bloke called Suarez, but please God, whatever happens, let's sign a defensive midfielder and a striker...
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Apparently we're after some bloke called Suarez, but please God, whatever happens, let's sign a defensive midfielder and a striker...

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Arsenal: Sign Schweinsteiger, Cry If Giroud Is Our Main Striker...

Pre season: Good, bad or ugly? 

Somewhere between bad and ugly. It feels like a massive wasted opportunity to have stolen a march on our rivals who were all changing manager.

Hopes for the season

To end the occasionally mentioned trophy drought. I think we last one a trophy in 2005 but it’s hard to say as it’s so infrequently referred to (sorry, I’m very bitter and twisted).

Fears for the season

That we don’t sign a striker and have to keep faith with Olivier Giroud. Or that we don’t sign a defensive midfielder. Both of these will almost certainly come to pass unfortunately.

Absolute bare minimum you’ll accept

4th I suppose, though that’s probably also the best case scenario. The sky’s the limit in the most exciting league in the world.

Fixture you’re most looking forward to?

After the last two seasons it has to be Spurs at home. Two ridiculously flaky teams who can’t really defend always makes for great match.

Got the right manager?

Definitely, as I’ve written about and argued about at length.

By Christmas you’ll be

4th, maybe 5th.

Player you’d most like to sign?

From a sensible/hipster point of view I would say Bastian Schweinsteiger. Realistically though who am I kidding? I’ll take Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo.

More…

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Which player should we look out for?

Serge Gnabry could be the new Quincy Owusu-Abeiye. Seriously though Chuba Akpom is highly rated and if he plays his cards right could be being poached by Manchester City in a few years.

Which player would you love to ditch?

Gervinho has gone, which will feel like a new signing.

Opposition hate figure?

Wayne Rooney always gets a lot of stick and old boys Samir Nasri and Robin van Persie get a fair amount of abuse.

Tell us something we don’t know about your club?

So many to choose from but a couple of recent ones I’ve worked out: In the last 8 premier league seasons, we’ve only finished in 2 positions (3rd and 4th). You can see why a little bit of tedium has set in. Another one is that Giroud’s goals last season yielded a meagre 2 points for us – the vast majority of his goals decorated thrashings in a Carlos Vela chipping the keeper kind of way.

What won’t happen this season?

We shatter our wage structure and bring in the galacticos needed to challenge for major honours.

Favourite chant? 

Insert ‘Highbury Library’ gag here. My personal recent favourite is the Gervinho chant to the tune of Abba’s ‘Fernando’. ‘There was something in his hair that night, his touch was shite…GERVINHO’.

Where will you finish?

4th, maybe 5th.

Any other news?

I think we’re trying to sign Luis Suarez.