Arsenal's Cazorla & The PL XI To Defeat The Biased FIFPro Xl

No Premier League players in the FIFPro World XI? As if FIFA would overlook the talents within the confines of England. Nevertheless, these 11 will showcase the talents of the Premiership.
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No Premier League players in the FIFPro World XI? As if FIFA would overlook the talents within the confines of England. Nevertheless, these 11 will showcase the talents of the Premiership.


While FIFA went for an entire team consisting of just La Liga players for the FIFPro World XI, fans of the likes of Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur, Manchester United, Manchester City and Everton were left aggrieved as to why their own players weren't selected an rightfully so. Anyway, we think these Premiership stars would be good enough to take on the Primera Division's finest.

Asmir Begovic – Stoke City (Goalkeeper)

It’s easy to play well in a good side, less easy in a side that isn’t packed with star players. Stoke don’t concede many goals and part of the reason for this is the form of their Bosnian keeper, Asmir Bergovic. He might not have the profile of someone like Joe Hart but week-in-week out he ensures that Stoke maintain their meanness at the back, one only bettered by Manchester City.

Kyle Walker – Tottenham Hotspur (Right-Back)

Everyone’s favourite Ultimate Team right back, largely because he is so fast that he is able to arrive at his destination before being seen, thus contravening the laws of quantum physics and creating a temporal paradox that could threaten the very fabric of the universe, is maturing into one of the Premiership’s best defenders. He has been on spanking good form for Spurs this season, and seems equally adept at the back as he is going forward. With Glen Johnson morphing into an error-prone fat lump, Walker should now be a shoe-in for the England right-back position.

Phil ‘The Jag’ Jagielka – Everton (Centre-Back)

Although Evertonians have long been aware of just how good ‘The Jag’ is, his growing presence in the England side combined with arguably the best form of his career has begun to alert the wider football public to the merits of Everton’s defending stalwart. The beauty of ‘The Jag’ is the confidence he instils in supporters. Everton might be slightly leakier at the back during this campaign, but that has nothing to do with Jagielka, a player who rarely puts a foot wrong. So far this season he has come up against the best the Premiership has to offer, players who terrorise many defenders and had the measure of them from the off.

Vincent Kompany – Manchester City (Centre-Back)

What lies beneath Kompany’s massive ‘mekon-esque’ head is a question that offers strikes me at idle moments. It can be no mere ordinary human brain. Surely it’s some sort of super-brain, the kind capable of moving objects or bending others to its will. It would explain his ability to dominate opposing forwards and slice though opposition midfields like a knife cuts through butter. Perhaps Vincent is able to clear a path simply by thinking such a thing is possible. Whether that’s true or not, his inclusion is a must. Arguably the best centre-half in the league.


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Leighton Baines – Everton (Left-Back)

Not just the best English left-back, arguably the best in the world. He’s great at the back, great going forward and also possessed of one of the sweetest left-pegs in the game. Consistently Everton’s best player over the last few years, Baines was the first name down on this sheet. He’s also got the strength of character to have interesting hair, resisting the footballer’s traditional penchant for gelled gins. It gives him the look of a young British civil servant arriving at his first posting in Colonial India.

Marouane Fellaini – Everton (Centre-Midfielder)

How many players can single-handily dominate a game and at the same time make a convincing body double for Diana Ross? That’s right, just the one. The mighty afro has been on inspired form this season, finally repaying the faith that David Moyes has long shown in him. Not only is he Everton’s top scorer, no mean feat for a player that has been better known for his defensive capabilities, but he has also been at the heart of the team’s wonderful beginning to the season. But perhaps more important than all of this has been his reintroduction of the concept of ‘chest football’ into the top flight. Around eighty per cent of what Fellaini does he does with his chest and you can imagine a generation of young Evertonians being inspired to do the same, playing football down the park, chesting the ball wherever possible; a cultural impact that is difficult to ignore.

Juan Mata – Chelsea (Centre-Midfielder)

I had Mata in my fantasy football team and then dropped him just before he became arguably the best player in the league, providing further proof, if further proof be needed, that I made the right decision in not pursuing a career in football management. I replaced him with Dembélé, a decision of jaw-dropping stupidity. Since I snubbed him, Mata has been on blistering form. In a Chelsea side packed with stars that have often failed to perform, Mata has been a pretty consistent bright light, creating and scoring with ease.

Santi Cazorla – Arsenal (Centre-Midfielder)

It’s been a mixed season for Arsenal so far but one of the highlights has been the arrival of Cazorla. Creative, combative and not bad in front of goal, Cazorla proves that Wenger is still a manager who can buy the right man. He might not have had the same level of attention, but the Spaniard's stats are actually better than Mata’s, with more passes, a better level of passing accuracy and more dribbles, if such a thing can really be measured. This might only be of interest to the statistically anal but it nevertheless proves what a canny buy Cazorla was.


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Luis Suarez – Liverpool (Right-Wing)

His inclusion sickens me because Suarez is everything that is wrong not just with football but also with life itself. A cheat, a racist, an ear-munching psychopath, he’s probably the worst role model for kids since Jimmy Savile. However, if you want to win a game then it would be foolhardy in the extreme to ignore one of the Premiership’s most potent attacking forces. Suarez is capable of being unbelievably sh*te but equally, on his day, he’s probably unplayable.

Michu – Swansea City (Centre-Forward)

Sometimes real bargains can be found. Amongst this summer’s imports into the Premiership Michu snuck under the radar, arriving in Swansea from Rayo Vallecano for the ludicrously small fee of £2m. For Liverpool fans, that equates to five Fabio Borini's. Michu has slotted into the Swansea set-up perfectly and his wonderful form so far this campaign has arguably helped the club avoid ‘second-season-syndrome’.

Robin van Persie – Manchester United (Left-Wing)

The sign of a great forward has to be an ability to turn half chances into goals. So what does that make Van Persie, a forward that can turn quarter, or possible even one/eighth chances into goals. At the moment, he seems to be enjoying an amazing period in his career, where everything he does turns to gold. It’s a bit like the opposite of what happened to James Beattie when he came to Everton, when everything he touched turned to a mixture of children’s tears and sh*t. Any Premiership XI that wants to win has to include this talented Dutchman, one of the few British based players who could grace a World XI.