Ballon D'Oh Nominations 2011: Everton's Tim Howard And His Camouflage Disaster

Everton goal keeper Tim Howard evades capture and lynching from his own fans by wearing cringe worthy camouflage on the pitch...
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Everton goal keeper Tim Howard evades capture and lynching from his own fans by wearing cringe worthy camouflage on the pitch...

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Initially there was a general acceptance of this camouflage horror show. People mistakenly thought it was a tribute to the troops in Afghanistan. However, as it slowly became clear that it wasn’t, the sheer incredulous disbelief began to spread. By the time he trotted out onto the hallowed Goodison Park turf it became painfully obvious that this was a ‘fashion’ decision made by the marketing chimps at the club.

The upshot of this is that Tim Howard now looks like an ‘Action Man Goalkeeper’ doll. Fans behind Howards goal can distract themselves from Everton’s increasingly poor season by searching for the eagle-eye control lever in the back of his head and spend their time wondering if he has the standard issue blue plastic pants on underneath or if he’s one of the earlier model of Action Men that had strange moulded flesh coloured eunuch genitals.

The upshot of this is that Tim Howard now looks like an ‘Action Man Goalkeeper’ doll.

There’s no respite from slightly darker camouflage away kit either. ‘Twilight, urban camo’ to help him evade capture and lynching from his own fans as he slinks from the stadium to the bus after defeat to the likes of Sunderland and Swansea. You wouldn’t catch Neville Southall sporting this gear, that’s for sure.

Clearly Tim Howard should have threatened to do a Tevez. Demand that the camouflage mess be sent back where it came from. But not dignified Tim. Using all his American resolve he soldiers on in his fatigues. Looking unquestionably, like a massive tit.

The Ballon D’Oh is Sabotage Times’ annual award for the world’s daftest footballer. To vote for this player leave a comment below. The player with the most comments/votes by November 25 will be presented with this prestigious award.

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