Bongo Christ, Waldo Ponce, Felix Brilliant - The 20 funniest footballer names

This lot would always raise a snigger during school register.
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This lot would always raise a snigger during school register.
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It's neither big nor clever to laugh at foreign names but it nevertheless remains stubbornly funny.

This is certainly true in the world of funny footballer names. We've compiled a list of the 20 best-named footballers, who would be guaranteed to raise your spirits if they played for your team. Please note - we have not included any smutty names, as we used them all up with a previous article.

20. Limited Chikafa

Given the name bestowed upon him, is it any wonder that the Zimbabwean forward failed to live up to his potential?

19. Waldo Ponce

The funniest named player of the 2010 World Cup was Waldo Ponce, who scored highly for having both an amusing first name and surname.

18. Chico Explosao

If you were looking for an explosive substitute to bring on, how could you look past this man?

17. Roberto Bionico

Sadly the former Santos player Bionico was never transferred for six million dollars.

16. Danny Boffin

Everyone's favourite Panini sticker from the 1994 World Cup.

15. Mansour Boutabout

Has anyone's name better described what he does for a living?

14. MacBeth Sibaya

The South African international has probably got a really pushy wife.

13. Danny Invincible

The Australian's career with Swindon and Kilmarnock didn't quite live up to his extraordinary name.

12. Ricardo Virtuoso

Another player with a Wikipedia entry that suggests that he didn't live up to his billing.

11. Daniel Killer

Has there ever been a more menacing sounding defender than this member of Argentina's 1978 World Cup winning side?

10. Doctor Khumalo

Who needs a physio when you've got this former South Africa midfielder in your team?

9. Felix Brilliant

When you're compiling a list of brilliant footballer names it's difficult to ignore the Canadian midfielder Felix Brilliant.

8. Orlando Trustfull

This Dutch international was a player to truly believe in.

7. Norman Conquest

You’d have to know your history to recall the former Australia goalkeeper.

6. Roberto Dinamite

King of the footballers who sound as if they should be really good is the former Brazil striker Roberto Dinamite, as he was actually a very talented player that lived up to his name.

5. Danger Fourpence

A former club colleague of Limited Chikafa, the Zimbabwe defender often gives his employers the feeling of being shortchanged.

4. Have-A-Look Dube

Our highest ranking Zimbabwean player with a funny name is Have-A-Look Dube. Too few parents take the opportunity to get hyphens involved in their child's name.

3. Creedence Clearwater Couto

Is the career of the Brazilian striker Creedence Clearwater due a revival?

2. Bongo Christ

Anyone who remembers the Um Bongo advert from the eighties would see the potential for a song about a player called 'Bongo' who was capped by the Congo Republic.

1. Johnny Moustache

Not a character from Goodfellas but the former captain of the Seychelles football team. 

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