"How on earth did I manage to win this?"
There are some truly fantastic players in the Premier League, some of the best on the planet ply their trade in our league, and at times they are a joy to watch. Problem is, these great players have elevated the profile of the Premier League to such a level that even the average ones, the ones that make up the numbers alongside the likes of Silva, Van Persie and Gerrard get delusions of grandeur and think they're also at their level; that they're also capable of producing that deft chip, that jinking run, or that 30 yard thunderbolt strike to win the game. To illustrate my point, I have selected some absolutely marvellous examples of times when bog standard players forget that they're sh**!
Maybe it was years playing behind Ronaldo as he would ping them into the top corner from every conceivable angle that inspired this John O'Shea effort, whatever the reason, it was truly bloody awful. So bad was the shot (and I use that term loosely) that the ball actually ended up further back on the pitch than him! Still employed as a footballer, John O'Shea now plays for Sunderland.
This one is a classic. When managerial mastermind and Mrs Doubtfire look-a-like Steve Bruce paid Blackburn £5.5m for David Dunn in 2003, it was with designs of him becoming the Zidane-like playmaker and string-puller for his new look side. Seemingly this new role went the young David’s head a bit as before he long he was attempting tricks straight out of the great man’s play book…..without success.
Ah, Emile. Where would we be without Emile Heskey. England have been blessed with some wonderful wide men over the years, Matthews, Beckham, Waddle; however, it was at the 2010 World Cup where Emile showed us all another weapon in his arsenal. After collecting the ball on the right wing Emile made his move; running at the Left-back, first he stumbles over the ball, then, after regaining his balance, he sidesteps the defender before then slamming the ball out of play into touch. Sir Stan is still spinning in his grave.
We’ve seen a few “Panenka” penalties lately. If you happen to be a world class footballer like Andrea Pirlo or Sergio Ramos and pull one off under the pressure of a Euro 2012 Quarter/Semi-final shootout, you’re a genius. If, on the other hand, you play for Norwich and attempt one against Preston at home and put it straight into the keeper’s arms, you look like a tw**.
I like Roy Hodgson I really do, I think he’s a good coach and a decent fella; as far as I’m concerned, the Liverpool job was just a case of wrong place, wrong time. That being said, he did sign Paul Konchesky. If there was any one piece of action that sums up Roy’s spell in charge at Anfield it’s this miserable long-range Konchesky attempt. In a Merseyside derby. At Goodison. Just awful.
Geoff Thomas’ shot; the ultimate example of a rubbish footballer trying to be too clever. Not many players careers are remembered solely for one bad shot, Geoff Thomas’ is. Alan Shearer, one of the greatest strikers this country has ever produced made his England debut this match; yet what do we, the Great British public, choose to remember of that night?! This little beauty…
If you’re feeling a little low and depressed at the state of the game after that torrent of dross, then, as a little pick-me-up, I’ll leave you with this. When a piece of unbelievable skill is pulled off perfectly by someone fully capable of doing it, then it truly is a thing of pure beauty. Step Forward, Fernando Redondo.
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