Fans Half-Term Report: Wolverhampton Wanderers

It's been more cat's pyjamas than 'hungry like the wolf' down at Molineux this season, but the win against Chelsea has given the fans some hope of a good season. As they approach the half-way point, here's one fan's reflection on events so far.
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It's been more cat's pyjamas than 'hungry like the wolf' down at Molineux this season, but the win against Chelsea has given the fans some hope of a good season. As they approach the half-way point, here's one fan's reflection on events so far.

What's going right? - We notched up our first league win since 2001 against local rivals Birmingham City. And we're only two points from safety, despite already losing 10 games.

What's not? - Our comical defence, which has shipped goals at an alarming rate this season. Also, our goal-shy forwards, most of whom look like they spent the summer watching Ade Akinbiyi's greatest Premier League strikes on DVD, deserve a mention.

Got the right manager? - It's a difficult one. Mick McCarthy has done absolute wonders to take us to the Premier League in three seasons after inheriting a squad with just 11 senior players (thanks Glenn Hoddle). He also kept us up last season, so many fans believe he deserves the chance to steer the club to safety this time round. Others reckon he's tactically naive and out of his depth in England's top flight. I'd at least give him the rest of the current campaign.

Star player? - Wing wizard Matt Jarvis, a man who has terrorised most full-backs he's played against this season. How Shawn Wright-Phillips still gets in the England squad ahead of 'Jarvo' is mind-boggling.

Who would you like to sell in January? - We've already offloaded Jelle Van Damme, who only joined in the summer. The Belgian full-back was apparently home-sick, having left his pregnant wife back in the land of chocolate and waffles. We have too many injuries to let anyone else leave.

Who do you want to sign? - Rumours persist that Joleon Lescott, who started his career at Wolves, will return to Molineux on loan from Man City to help steer us to Premier League safety. I'd love this to be true, but can't see it happening.

How Shawn Wright-Phillips still gets in the England squad ahead of 'Jarvo' is mind-boggling

Best chant so far? - 'You'll soon be Chelsea fans' to Arsenal 'supporters' always makes me chuckle. But I particularly like, 'I would rather be a dingle than a c**t', which is sung in reference to a nickname given to us by our dear neighbours, West Brom. They claim we look and act like the Dingles family from Emmerdale - this coming from a bunch of half-wits that jump up and down screaming 'boing boing' when their team scores. Oh the irony.

Best opposition player/team you've see? - Andy Caroll looked pretty sharp when we played Newcastle at Molineux.

Biggest **** of the season so far? - Wayne Rooney. After chucking his toys out the pram and declaring he was leaving, Shrek suddenly had a change of heart. Obviously, the decision to stay was based on Alex Ferguson's insistence that United would challenge for various honours, and not the huge salary increase his agent managed to wrangle.

Any other news? - Our chairman Steve Morgan will increase Molineux to 36,000 (its current capacity is 28.500) if we survive this season. That's about it.

End of season prediction? - Celebrating another successful survival campaign while arch-rivals West Bromwich Albion (or the Tesco bags, as they are affectionately known due to their disgusting kit) go back to the Championship where they belong.

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