Fulham End Of Term Report: Buy Bellamy And Watch Us Fly In Europe

What started as a draw-laden season for Fulham ended up as a good one... 8th place, Europa League qualification and a statue of Michael Jackson to boot...
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What started as a draw-laden season for Fulham ended up as a good one... 8th place, Europa League qualification and a statue of Michael Jackson to boot...

What started as a draw-laden season for Fulham ended up as a good one... 8th place, Europa League qualification and a statue of Michael Jackson to boot...

The ‘I f*cking love this game’ highlight of the season?

Bobby Zamora scoring the winner in his first game back from injury for Fulham against Blackburn in March.

The season ticket shredding moment?

None really although getting spanked 2 v 5 by Liverpool at home grated a little.

Moment that just about summed it all up?

It was very Fulhamish to thrash Spurs 4-0 in the FA Cup, draw Bolton at home in a very winnable fifth round game and then go and blow it by losing at home to the bunch of plodders.

Got the right manager?

Yes, he's done well, although he had a hard act to follow. Roy Hodgson was as Fulhamish as a nice pint and a smoke in the Crabtree pub garden.

Player of the season?

Probably Chris Baird for me.  Everyone loves a trier and he's carved a niche for himself after a tricky start to his Fulham career when a few d*cks booed him for his performances at right back.  His home in N.Ireland got fire bombed because he's a Catholic playing for the North so he's had a lot to put up with personally too.  He also tw**ted Jimmy Bullard in the mush in training once, just in case he needed any more credibility.

Balotelli needs to be tied to a tree and beaten to within an inch of his poxy life and then sent back to Italy in a bag.

Muppet of the season?

No-one in black and white but Neil Warnock gets on my nerves - mainly for getting Willesden Rovers promoted and having a nose like a c*ck.

What would you change next term if you were the gaffer?

I'd sign Osvaldo and the keeper from Espanyol as has been mooted and perhaps Zaha from Palace. Craig Bellamy is another gettable player and I also like Darren Pratley at Swansea.

Which player would you like to sign?

See above but in terms of fantasy signings I'd have Tevez, Suarez and Scott Parker.

Best goal?

Zamora v Blackpool

Football’s biggest tosser?

Mario Balotelli is indicative of the modern malaise in football; not enough talent and too much attitude. He's horrible, like the world owes him a favour for turning up and p*ss farting about pretending he's as good as he thinks he is. He needs to be tied to a tree and beaten to within an inch of his poxy life and then sent back to Italy in a bag.

Player’s tweet of the season?

Bothered.

Most inspired chant?

Come on Fulham.

Best laugh you had all season?

Ian Brown 'singing' at Gary Neville's testimonial.

How do you plan to get through the summer without football?

Watching Fulham in the Europa League.

Any other news?

A little bird reckons Mark Hughes to Villa, Martin O'Neil to Fulham.

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