Kieron Dyer To QPR? Couldn't Happen To Nicer People. The West Ham Fans’ Guide To The Transfer Window

It's been mainly bad news for West Ham of late apart from Kieron Dyer leaving, that is. That cheered me up loads.
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It's been mainly bad news for West Ham of late apart from Kieron Dyer leaving, that is. That cheered me up loads.

It's been mainly bad news for West Ham of late apart from Kieron Dyer leaving, that is. That cheered me up loads.

It’s the silly season in football – do you love it or hate it?

It's awful. It's like dying a death everyday.

This summer what are you hoping to read every time you check your club news each morning?

That Dyer, Upson, Faubert and all of the sh*t that Curbishley and those Icelandic b*stards loaded us down with have left the payroll.

What do you inevitably end up reading instead?

That nobody is going to give Scott Parker a good home and give us a good price for him.

Got much cash in the kitty?

Enough to give the 29 year old Kevin Nolan a 5 year contract!

Hulking midfielder? Tricky winger? Big bastard defender? What types of players would you like to sign this summer?

Some players with some professionalism would be nice. Really, I'd prefer to rebuild round the academy. It's not a popular opinion among many West Ham fans but Zavon Hines could be a great player for us. He ripped the sh*t out of Carragher when we played Liverpool last season.

Keiron Dyer has gone to QPR. Couldn't happen to nicer people.

What types of player will you end up signing instead? An U21 Moldovan left back instead of Spanish international forward perhaps?

Freaks and journeyman certainly. I'm old fashioned so I'd prefer no-one with a criminal record, a record of un-professionalism or a line of credit at China White or so other pretentious establishment.

Who wants to leave the club and what’s your attitude towards them?

If Scott Parker wants to leave then good luck to him. He's been a great servant for the club and I really want to see him go to Euro 2012. With Essien's new injury a move to Chelsea could strangely be back on the cards.

Who has been the biggest tosser of this transfer window?

T*sser isn't the word I'd use for Fabregas as he won't give anybody any relief. Just end this farce and leave for Barcelona.

Reckon you’ll be stronger or weaker next season?

Depends on how the academy prospects step up. Would prefer they all get a chance to play together for a couple of years so we can create a team to fight our way back up. I'd take a 2 year team building stint in the Championship with the youth products rather than throwing money at journeymen to get us back up next season.

Any other news?

Keiron Dyer has gone to QPR. Couldn't happen to nicer people.

What has been the best ever bit of business your club did in the transfer window?

Keeping Scott Parker.

And the worst?

Keeping Scott Parker.

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