Victor Moses Is A Naughty Boy And Other Lessons From Wigan v Norwich

Our ground’s too big for us, there are no casuals in Norwich and Grant Holt is a human walrus: here's what one Wigan fan learned from their first match of the season.
Avatar:
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
2
Our ground’s too big for us, there are no casuals in Norwich and Grant Holt is a human walrus: here's what one Wigan fan learned from their first match of the season.

Our ground’s too big for us, there are no casuals in Norwich and Grant Holt is a human walrus: here's what one Wigan fan learned from their first match of the season.

Victor Moses is not the new Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy

Well maybe I’m being harsh there, as there is a heavy expectation on this young man’s shoulders. Victor tore apart the Norwich full back Tierney more times than I care to mention and has amazing dribbling skills. A typical run will involve going all the way down the wing to the byline, all the way along the byline and then attempt to dribble past the keeper and slot it in at an impossible angle. Pull it back to our centre forwards Vic!! What’s that, we haven’t got any? Oh!

On a serious note, the lad’s got talent, is exciting to watch and is set to have a huge season for us. I’m just not sure even he knows what he’s going to do next sometimes.

The football casual movement hasn’t hit Norwich yet

Well, certainly not if the away end is anything to go by. My eyes, my poor eyes. I’m still seeing garish yellow now. It’s like one long episode of the banana splits.

If Franco di Santo was stood behind the grassy knoll, JFK might still be alive

He’s a lovely lad, works his socks off and plays the game with a smile on his face but he can’t score to save his life. Whether we learnt this only yesterday after he’s scored something like 2 goals in 70 games is a moot point. Surely if you dragged a confused Octogenarian Asda greeter in off the street and put a number 9 shirt on him, he would manage that kind of ratio? He’s getting closer though, and maybe one might lead to a few more. It didn’t last time mind you. Ouch.

If he could just complete his look by growing a huge General Kitchener handlebar moustache I for one would be happy to see much more of him.

Our ground’s too big for us

Thanks for telling us that Norwich fans, we had no idea, honestly. We had the usual Twitter explosion around about the time our highlights were on Match of the Day last night, whoppers from around the country with Oldham, Swansea & Wolves the most prominent. In fact Wolves fans are almost constantly at our throats, why the big obsession lads? We can’t all be massive clubs with decades of history who have always had 30,000 fans since WW2 ceased. Funnily enough, when I made my first trip to Molineux in the mid Eighties, there was less than 3,000 on. Mind you, that was before football was invented for most of you?

Can we just once and for all take away the traditional three points for a win system and with immediate effect, award points in football purely for the size of your crowds? If only to shut these muppets up.

Only in a football fans’ world does 7,500 free seats and 17,500 occupied seats equate to an “empty ground” and 13,000 home fans equal “no fans”. If these are the most important things which occupy your world so much you need to go on the internet repeatedly to state “THIS CLUB ARE A DISGRACE, THEY DON’T FILL THEIR GROUND, THEY MUST BE RELEGATED NOW”, I suspect you need to get yourself a girlfriend. What’s that? You had a girlfriend and she left you? I’m guessing that’s because you bored the a*** off her.

On a serious note, there’s nothing we can do about it. I’m a little envious of QPR and the lovely, tight Loftus Road. A redeveloped Springfield Park could have looked just like that and a 15,000 attendance would suddenly resemble a roaring bearpit. Unless we were charging fifty dabs to get in like.

Anyway, that’s way too much crowd talk.

Grant Holt is a human walrus

Opinion was undecided post match as to whether this was a great big lummox of a man incapable of doing anything than barging into folk and falling on his ample backside or a courageous leader of the line and his team deservedly now getting a shot in the big time.

I kind of like him and whereas the goals may not flow as freely for him in the Premier League, many Premier League defences will probably still find him a handful. If he could just complete his look by growing a huge General Kitchener handlebar moustache I for one would be happy to see much more of him.

The general consensus was that it was two bad teams trying to play good football. Norwich’s home form will be key as to whether they survive. So will ours I guess, so that’s two points dropped for us in that respect.

Into The Trences We Go: The Wigan Athletic Fans' Season Preview

Roberto Martinez Proves Romance Isn’t Dead By Choosing Wigan Athletic Over Aston Villa

Wigan Athletic Survival Special

Click here for more Wigan Athletic stories

Click here for more Football and Sport stories

Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Twitter

Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Facebook

Click here for more Football and Sport stories

Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Twitter

Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Facebook