Jog on Rooney, jog on...

Rooney can skulk over to Eastlands for half a mill a week for all I care, we'd be better off without another celebrity ego clogging up the dressing room.
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Rooney can skulk over to Eastlands for half a mill a week for all I care, we'd be better off without another celebrity ego clogging up the dressing room.

Is he stupid or immature? The signs all point to stupid now. 

Picking a fight with Fergie for not playing him. How’s that worked in the past? Well? David Beckham got the radge when he got boot booted by Alex Ferguson at half time. It’s not totally unfair to say that was the season that Beckham stopped performing as a member of a football team. Although he was not on a steep dip of decline, his performances meant he was no longer integral to the success of the team.

At 24, Rooney’s definitely been playing listlessly for himself this season, with none of the inspiring bronca that almost dragged the team with him to a title last year. His contradicting of Fergie, apparently to force a move, is this theme in microcosm.

However, with rumours circling that City are up for paying £500k a week on a Bosman transfer, and even that the prostitution story were a plant to start this tedious narrative, it doesn’t leave you with too much sympathy for the Pink Shrek.

 Given that he’s regularly caught smoking, it seems likely that even Wayne knows we’re more than halfway into his career. If he really wanted to be a great, he’d take note of countless examples of players living to succeed and earn for as long as possible.

Giggs, Ronaldo and Beckham might all have had a few late nights, but you don’t see them arcing golden streams of protest piss against bins at six in the morning. With his simmering anger and love for shandy, it might just be that Rooney’s aiming for as much cash as possible before he hits the skids at 28.

 If the rumours of him cheating on his wife with a prostitute are true - and they’ve not been denied - then this really is the time to declare him past the point of embracing maturity. We’ve all done stupid things, but it shows a sense of entitlement to cheat on one’s wife that could be indicative of an attitude to loyalty that isn’t going to help United any time soon.

"Given he’s regularly caught smoking, it seems likely that even Wayne knows we’re over halfway into his career."

Should United be able to get a decent whack of cash, and more importantly, if Ferguson can keep most of it to spend, then United would arguably be in a stronger position without Rooney. Shot of a shithouse, the United team is fairly staid and celebrity-free. Strengthening the midfield and replacing Rooney with Benzema would certainly make some realistic fans less anxious about the next three years. It won’t happen though.

Rooney’s either going on a Bosman, disrupting United for another 18 months, or all the money will go straight to the magical ‘No Value’ vault the manager keeps discussing. That’s the vault, of course, that looks a lot like interest repayments. 

But what’s most disappointing, is the sheer stupidity of Rooney. He’s not malevolent, he’s just clueless and self-serving, operating from a position of self-inflicted pity and rage. He’s been underperforming since March. On the football pitch he’s always been capable of developing a sense of mistreatment when he’s at fault, just look at his reaction for stamping on Carvalho’s balls a few years back and then, mind-bogglingly, being sent off. Now, like a true England hero he’s doing it off the pitch too. He's really gone for it this time.

A man who struggles with the intellectual level of English tabloid culture is looking to do one. I can't criticise a man for wanting to leave England (if he does go abroad), but I do wonder whether we're watching a man, with Gazza's lack of responsibility and John Terry's ability to play the victim, start on his downward spiral.

Click here for Alexander Netherton's latest piece on Whoateallthepies.tv

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