The Crime: Falling over while taking a penalty for Chelsea in Moscow in 2008 and crying like a 5-year-old on his first day at school.
The Punishment: Becoming the brunt of 3.2 million bad yet funny photoshop images.
The Crime: Lifting the Champions League trophy in full kit.
The Punishment: Furthering his reputation as the whopper to beat all whoppers.
The Crime: Being Nutmegged by Andy Carroll
The Punishment: Being known as the only player to ever be nutmegged by the shaved ape.
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