Liverpool v Tottenham Hotspur: Worst Ever Xls
At some clubs the shockers are debatable, but at Liverpool they have been clear for all to see*. Here’s the worst I can remember from 30 years as a fan.
*Dons tin-hat in preparation for Tottenham fans suggesting Andy Carroll
Liverpool Worst Xl by Owen Blackhurst
GK: Mike Hooper
There have been worse keepers that Mike Hooper but, emblazoned on my cerebral cortex is a cup game when he conceded four against West Ham in the mid to late 80s. Ruined my night.
Looked, and played, like a startled vole with a crack addiction. Always rushed, couldn’t pass, not especially quick and positionally awful. Just gets in ahead of Degen and Ostemobor.
CB: Phil Babb
This has nothing to do with the fact I worked for him and everything to do with the fact that he was crap. Within five games it was clear that he’d only been any good at USA 94 because Paul McGrath told him what to do. Pound-for-pound, one of the worst passers of the ball I’ve ever seen. Rubbish boss to boot.
CB: Torben Piechnik
A hideous decision by a bad manager, it still amazes me that the Picnic who signed was the same player who looked assured in the 1992 European Championships final. Souness was clearly mental when he took over, and his transfer activity remains baffling to this day.
LB: Paul Konchesky
He had some serious contenders for this role, but for being Woy’s agent, thick as 20000 short planks, playing like a headless chicken and having a Mother who could teach a Navvy how to swear, he beats Dicks and Stig.
RM: Bruno Cheyrou
New Zidane anyone?
CM: Salif Diao
I struggle to believe that anyone would dare put Biscan in a worst Liverpool Xl. Diao, however, was awful. With the touch of a Sutcliffe and the turning circle of a Panzer, it is laughable that he was part of Houllier’s Summer 2002 spending spree.
CM: Istvan Kozma
Ask most Liverpool fans to name the worst Liverpool player they have seen and Kozma will feature heavily. Nice chap, played well elsewhere but essentially shite.
LM: Antonio Nunez
Rafa’s second signing was also his worst. Couldn’t cross, run or dribble, which makes life tricky if you're a winger.
CF: El-Hadji Diouf
Horrible, non-scoring, spitting tool. Arrived with the nickname ‘serial killer’, departed as one of the most disliked men in football.
CF: Sean Dundee
I mean, come on, who else could it be? If any proof were needed that two managers doesn’t work then this was it.
The phrase ‘signed by Christian Gross’ is enough to blight the career of any Spurs player
Tottenham Hotspur Worst Xl by David Hillier
I don't doubt there was some terrible Tottenham Hotspur players during the 70s and 80s, but as someone growing us a Spurs fan in the 90s and early Noughties I have seen the worst we have to offer during a pretty depressing era for the club. Here's the pick of a bad bunch.
GK: Heurelho Gomes
To be fair, he actually copped more stick than he deserved and he was generally reasonably popular. But we’ve actually got a history of pretty good goalkeepers and there was just too much of this for us to both forgive AND forget.
RB: Paolo Tramezzani
The phrase ‘signed by Christian Gross’ is enough to blight the career of any Spurs player, but this guy really was awful. Played 6 league games in 18 months. Had greasy hair.
A Brazilian international! At Spurs! We were actually quite excited about him. We shouldn’t have been. Played 8 times, was substituted at half-time in 3 of them. Made Thimotee Atouba look like Paolo Maldini.
CB: Goran Bunjecevic
Somewhat unlucky to be playing in a Spurs team that wasn’t built for a sweeper, therefore spent a lot of time being shifted about, but it didn’t matter. Possibly the most unattractive man to ever play for the Lillywhites.
CB: Richardo Rocha
Horrendous. Played 17 times in 3 seasons, We lost most of those games. Inexplicably played for Portugal 6 times, though he did get one over us with a Man Of The Match performance for Portsmouth when they beat us in theFA Cup Semi-Final.
LM: Milenko Acimovic
Just not very good at all. Stood up straight the whole time. Didn’t score in 17 games. Worse than Willem Korsten, which is saying something.
RM: Giovani dos Santos
Tough one this. Is not a bad player, but has now actually been at Spurs for nearly 4 years (if you include time out on loan). Every 6 months there are whispers of him finally nailing down a place, before he runs on the pitch and gets pushed around by the bigger boys. Could do well in Spain.
CM: Moussa Saib
Played in a World Cup FINAL for Italy. God knows how.
CF: Helder Postiga
Signed to not inconsiderable fanfair in 2003, we really thought we’d pulled off a ‘coup.’ Turns out we didn’t. Too small. Sold back to Porto 1 year and 1 league goal later.
CF: Gregorz Rasiak
Now, in all reality this position would probably have gone to Ronny Rosenthal, but he is exempted thanks to scoring the Best Tottenham Hotspur Hat-Trick Ever. Rasiak didn’t score any goals and was way out of his depth in the Premier League.
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