Are Man United Going To Lose Rafael To Buy Seamus Coleman?
Remember that time United hired the zombie who used to manage Preston North End and Everton to sit in their dugout? Remember how he tried to buy every Everton player ever? Didn't really work out, sure, but that hasn't stopped Louis Van Gaal from desperately following his forged path, as he clambers over the bloated corpse of Rafael da Silva to reach the golden shores of wing-back Seamus Coleman. Or Seamus GOAL-man, if his half-dozen goals from last season are a sign of things to come.
Anyway, that's all according to those well-read hummus lovers over at The Guardian, and for all they/we know it could be a load of old toss but transfer rumours are dead fun, right?