Man United's New 'Singing Section' Is Divisive & Disgraceful

Things have been bad at Old Trafford, but do we really need a orchestrate to stupid sing-song to get the fans going?
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Things have been bad at Old Trafford, but do we really need a orchestrate to stupid sing-song to get the fans going?

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Man United's New 'Singing Section' Is Divisive & Disgraceful

Old Trafford’s J Stand is going to be what they call a ‘singing section’ as of next season. Stop laughing, I’m serious. They’re actually making it a thing.

It’s going to be unfathomably s*** and will be bursting with some of the thickest United fans out there. As far as the eye can see, try-hards and dolts who just don’t get it – and never will. They’ll be singing stupid nu-United anthems like ‘Kicking A Blue’, ‘Do What We Want’ and that pathetic one about Vincent Kompany never winning a treble.

‘Kicking A Blue’ is something special – perhaps the worst song that’s ever become popular at United. Its words are clunky and it makes no f***ing sense whatsoever; how it’s become such a popular chant is truly baffling – we’ll just chalk it up to the fact that people are d***s. These are the inane songs you can expect to hear from the singing section. The very thought of it’s giving me a migraine already and we’re nowhere near August yet. That’s not even the worst part, though – not by a long way.

Season ticket-holders in J Stand – some of whom have been there for decades – are getting turfed out and they’ve had no say whatsoever in any of it. They’ve not been consulted once; the decision was just made. It’s an utter disgrace. They’ll be relocated to some other part of the ground and if they don’t like it then that’s tough. If it was me I’d tell them to get right to f*** and just jack it in for good. Some will do that, others won’t. But whether they cancel or whether they stay and relocate, there’s absolutely no disputing that they’ve been cacked on from a great height.

It’s all to get the ‘atmosphere’ going, supposedly. The people behind it don’t seem to have got the fact, though, that not every fan wants to partake in a silly orchestrated sing-along – and believe me, they’ve been told in no uncertain terms. To them, it’s as if anyone who doesn’t want to get involved is part of the problem but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Putting it frankly: it takes a certain kind of k***head to be attracted to such a movement.

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Apparently ‘acoustics experts’ came in for the two singing section trials (the first being Sociedad in the European Cup and the second being Fulham in the league) and they ran tests to gauge whether it improved the atmosphere and how much by. Again, stop laughing – this really happened.

This moronic movement has obviously gained a lot of momentum since these two trials, and has now culminated in this absolute catastrophe of a decision by the club. The singing section is set to become a real-life, full-time thing. The club either don’t understand what they’ve done wrong here or they just don’t care but either way in doing so they’ve demonstrated what a sorry state they’re in.

Those behind the singing section would like you to believe that the majority of United fans are in favour of the notion, and they’ve been trying to sell us this bulls***  for quite some time – as if one day we’ll wake up and go along with them like a set of docile dummies.

What’s really going to peck head is the way this lot in the singing section are going to quickly acquire some serious delusions of grandeur (some already have them) and look down on everyone else. It’ll be as if they’re the real die-hards, and as if they’re the only ones whose support matters. They’ll roar their tiresome repertoire of rubbish songs every home game. They’ll sing so loud that the ‘5’ caps fall of their heads and the numbers and letters on the backs of their shirts start to peel off due to the sheer intensity of the atmosphere. Thanks, d***heads, you’re our heroes.

Ever since the idea was first suggested, a great many Reds were quick to voice their opposition to it and have continued to do so ever since. But because a few fans think it’s a good idea, their wants have now evidently outweighed the wants of the many. How? Why?
This singing section is going to cause further friction between fans – that is certain – despite what the orchestrators of it would have you think. It won’t bring fans together, it’ll do the opposite. Without doubt.

Follow Daniel on Twitter, @Daniel_Moores