Man Utd Chase Ryan Shawcross As Hummels Alternative (No, Seriously...)

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Man Utd Chase Ryan Shawcross As Hummels Alternative (No, Seriously...)

Leg-breaking babyfaced assassin Ryan Shawcross is not exactly the kind of man many fans would want holding the key to their club's defence but this is the horrifying reality facing Man United fans this season as the Daily Mail reports that spamheaded grumpus Louis Van Gaal is lining up a move for the Stoke heel.

Imagine thinking you're gonna sign Mats Hummels and you actually end up signing Ryan bloody Shawcross - it'd be like waking up on Christmas morning and your house has burnt down and you've got polio and they've cancelled broadband in your area. Getting a sweat on just thinking about it.

@samdiss

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