Manchester United Half Term Report: Phil Jones Is Our Leader

Manchester United apparently have no midfield, they were walloped for six by 'the noisy neighbours', and crashed out of The Champions League... but they're still challenging for the title. Football eh? Bloody Hell.
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Manchester United apparently have no midfield, they were walloped for six by 'the noisy neighbours', and crashed out of The Champions League... but they're still challenging for the title. Football eh? Bloody Hell.

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Phil Jones: The Long Lost Neville

Manchester United apparently have no midfield, they were walloped for six by 'the noisy neighbours', and crashed out of The Champions League... but they're still challenging for the title. Football eh? Bloody Hell.

What’s going right?

We're getting good results in the league, considering our injury crisis. We're second in the league within touching distance of City, and we have an easier run of fixtures than they do in the next month or so. After a serious dry patch, it appears that Rooney has found his scoring boots again, and needs to start firing them in over the Christmas period.

What’s not?

Where to start? The 6-1 defeat to City? Not qualifying for the knockout stages of the Champions League? Vidic out for the season? Perhaps most importantly we don't have a midfield, Rooney and Jones are plugging the gaps well enough for the moment, but it can't last, Giggs has aged and can't quite keep up to speed with the game any more. Carrick and Anderson aren't good enough and Fletcher has had to take an extended break. Our best prospect, Cleverly has been injured, and the fans are hyping his return to the point that he cannot possibly deliver.

Got the right manager?

Of course we have, it would be nice if he spent some (a lot) of money in January though.

Most importantly we don't have a midfield, Rooney and Jones are plugging the gaps well enough for the moment, but it can't last, Giggs has aged and can't quite keep up to speed with the game any more.

Star player?

Phil Jones has been excellent for us this season. A consistent performer despite having to play in various different positions and he is only 19 years old.

Who would you like to sell in January?

In January Gibson and Macheda, followed by the entire squad in the summer.

Who do you want to sign?

I think we should try and get Sandro from Spurs, he could be our rock in midfield and then Jones can get vital experience in his best position of CB. Another defender might be nice as well.

Best chant so far?

Not actually a United one this, it's the Arsenal fans who did an ironic cheer when Stoke won a set piece near their box, which Stoke then scored from. Pure class.

Best opposition player/team you’ve seen?

You have to give this one to City. They have an excellent collection of players over there, with Balotelli being the standout. Why you ask? Have you not read the news this season? Why always me, dressed as Santa, ping pong tables and scooters, funny hats, wrestling with a bib, need I continue?

Biggest **** of the season so far?

Paul Pogba and Ravel Morrison are young players who believe their own hype. Morrisons twitter rants at the management clearly unfounded and Pogba's refusal to sign a new contract and flirtation with Italian clubs is just bad form. We didn't stand it from Rooney, we're not going to take it from you.

End of season prediction?

I think we can get first, well, there or thereabouts (thank you Lawro). If we keep grinding out results and if another city (or all of them, that's fine as well) has a breakdown, all their good work in the first half of the season could be nicely undone.

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