Signed for a club record fee of £700,000 just weeks before Alex McLeish left to manage Rangers, Eduardo “The Tank” Hurtado was surely brought to Easter Road as part of some nefarious Ibrox conspiracy to sabotage an uncharacteristically successful Hibs squad.
It quickly became apparent that the 14st 4lb Ecuadorian’s nickname referred to his propensity to turn with all the grace and agility of a rusting WW2-vintage Panzer. My defining memory of him came when he lumbered into team-mate Ulrik Laursen, preventing the Dane from slotting in what should have been a sitter against Motherwell.
Normally I take great pride in never verbally abusing players from my own side. But on this occasion I broke the habit of a lifetime to inform “The Tank” loudly from the stands just what a useless shower of fucking fat shite he was, and everyone around me cheered.
Other articles from our Non-Existent Nines collection...
Click here for more articles about Football and Sport in Sabotage Times
Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Twitter
Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Facebook