Norwich Fans: Get Used To Losing

Moaning about losing to a Tottenham team worth several hundred pounds? Have a word...
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Moaning about losing to a Tottenham team worth several hundred pounds? Have a word...

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Norwich City have come a long way since we lost at the Valley in 2009, and entered the third tier. The next four seasons were also not without drama with two promotions and two seasons in the top flight. Then we had a record spend this summer which may have raised expectancy levels a little more. But remember this, we are going to lose a lot of football matches. But really do remember this, WE ARE GOING TO LOSE FOOTBALL MATCHES!!!

I seem to be totally doo-lally with a chirping bluebird on my shoulder compared to some City fans, who seem unable even to articulate their horror other than in shrieks whenever the Yellows lose. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but get used to it. Suck it up. That feeling isn’t going away. The medicine is horrible, people, but we are no longer playing Leyton Orient (no offence). It doesn’t necessarily mean we are going to get relegated, more a case of we’re not exactly going to pushing for Champs League just yet. Yeah? Kapeesh?

What was so depressing about yesterday? The performance? It was rotten and out of sync. The result? Not really, we got off lightly considering Tottenham had 1,978 shots on target. The fact that we have done well against Spurs in recent seasons? Possibly, although they have dished out close to our entire summer spending spree on a single player. On numerous occasions. Sometimes conclusions shouldn’t spread any further than the game in question and we can all safely conclude that it was indeed, pants. Still, life goes, the world keeps turning and all over the planet there is crazier s*** going on than Norwich losing away to a star-studded Tottenham.

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Rather than dwelling on an awful day at the office I try to reboot the mind. Get the brain box recalibrated. Treat the scars, don’t deepen them. First off, if you’re a City fan, avoid the Radio Norfolk phone-in. The Radio Norfolk phone-in is fun when we win – and believe me you still get the grumbles – but when we lose its soul-destroying howls can be dangerously addictive. This is a hell pit of misery from a bunch of desperate souls who must stand at weddings and see only skeletons before them.

It’s also best to avoid Twitter and Facebook. In this age of opinion – including mine, yes I know – the stakes are ramped up when you are proven right or wrong. Everything is published. People very seldom change their minds no matter how impressive the counter argument and as most people conversing on these forums will be seven sheets to the wind. These will be hysterical drunks drawing many conclusions about the entire future of the club from one dodgy performance. Some will be arguing and losing their s*** with fellow and rival supporters, while other will simply be crying in public. It is a hideous circus of dummy spitting and you’re best off out of it. Instead, why not try something completely new on which to feast the mind.

I have found that the key to dealing with defeat – and I have experienced a lot of it, Sir – is laughter. If you can laugh once after a defeat, then it all starts to make get better. Following yesterday’s debacle at White Hart Lane I didn’t analyse, predict, conclude or dwell, I simply enjoyed a large cookie and watched an episode of The Sooty Show. You see, sometimes you just have to close you eyes, stick your fingers in your ears and go ‘nanananananana!’ Otherwise, you’ll go slowly, then quit quickly, mad. That said, I thought Sweep was desperately under-deployed in this particular episode. Christ, here we go again.