On Behalf Of All Man Utd Fans, A Letter To You Louis

Time to go.
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Time to go.

Dear Mr van Gaal,

I have some questions for you regarding your team selection and overall philosophy.

Firstly, would you please explain to me why Wayne Rooney was given the captaincy? He rarely shouts, doesn’t lead by example and is far from being United’s best player. When compared with the likes of Bryan Robson or Roy Keane, as a captain, he isn’t even on the same planet! So this is the first strange decision I would like to know the reason behind.

Secondly, on the same player. He has been, by a long way, United’s worst player this season, irrespective of whether he is played up front or in midfield. Do you still feel that, as captain, he should enjoy the special privilege of being picked for every game even though his form has been nothing short of abysmal?

You had the perfect opportunity, when he was injured, to allow him an extended rest period. Instead, as soon as he had recovered, he was back in the team and just as bad as ever. Has he donated an organ to you to deserve all this special treatment?

Still on team selection - you sold Rafael and unfortunately, Luke Shaw is injured. Matteo Darmian has been purchased, but is not a regular. Why do you think that two or even three international full backs can be replaced by two ageing wingers? Or, occasionally, by one ageing winger and a midfielder. When you spent nearly £300 million on players, did it not occur to you to make sure there was some cover for every position?

Next, why did you buy so many midfielders? Do we really need Fellaini, Mata, Herrera, Depay, Lingard, Schneiderlin, Schweinsteiger and Carrick? At least you seem to have adequate cover in this department, even if you keep picking Fellaini.

You bought a 19 year old striker, who nobody really knew, for a massive amount of money. I accept that he looks a good investment for the future but what about the present? He cannot lead the line all season and has already suffered a mini barren spell. Who are you thinking of playing when he gets injured or loses form?

You have sold Robin van Persie and Javier Hernandez, you have let Falcao go. You have sent Adnan Januzaj and James Wilson out on loan. So do I assume that the totally out of form Wayne Rooney will be pushed up front to fail yet again if Martial is out for any reason? Did it not occur to you to buy a world class striker with some of the money rather than ANOTHER midfielder?

As I write, Manchester United sit 5th in the table, two places higher than where they finished when David Moyes was in charge. Capital One Cup and Champion’s League interest has been ended. With Moyes, United were still in the Champion’s League and would go on to reach the quarter final.

David Moyes was fired because he “failed” to lead United in the way he was expected to. He spent approximately £65 million. You are failing to lead United in the way you were expected to and you have spent nearly £300 million. Why are you still the manager of Manchester United? What exactly is your philosophy?

Marouane Fellaini appears to know what it is but isn’t telling anyone. Have you told him to keep it a secret? Nobody else has come out and said they know what it is. Do you know what it is?

In fairness, it is a word you have used less and less just recently which is comforting because I now know that you haven’t a clue what your philosophy is and have stopped trying to convince everyone that you actually have one.

In conclusion, with Jose Mourinho now out of work and looking to manage Manchester United and Pep Guardiola about to leave Bayern Munich and go to Manchester, (which side is not yet evident), do you not think it would make more sense if you just cleared off to your villa in Portugal for Christmas and forgot to come back?

I look forward to your speedy reply and even speedier departure.

On behalf of Manchester United fans everywhere, (well, the ones who feel the same way I do, anyway).

Read more from Iain at his site Why Say Anything?

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