An unsavoury acquaintance of mine once told me of his becoming suddenly nauseous in a nightclub. He ran to the gents and burst in to a cubicle only to find someone sitting on the throne. Too late to do anything else, he threw up all over the fella and then, assuming the bloke would probably whack him, decided to get the first punch in and smashed him hard in the face before running off.
Every Spurs fan right now feels like that bloke on the toilet. Bloodied, covered in vomit, trousers round ankles, mildly concussed, mumbling ‘what just happened?’
Five short days ago, everything was cushty. Spurs had just taken seven points from three tricky league games and completed their Europa group with a 4-1 victory, Soldado’s hat trick suggesting he’d come alive at last. We looked forward to a tough-ish home game with Liverpool expecting to win before wreaking terrible revenge on the West Ham in the Capital One Cup. Instead, we’ve suffered an abject humiliation by Liverpool, the sacking of the manager and a second consecutive home defeat to the Very Happy Hammers. And Tim Sherwood is team boss.
Sherwood’s job application hasn’t gone very well so far. When going for a seven figure position in the gift of one of the toughest employers in Christendom, the first thing you want to be is cool and dignified. Sherwood has spent his time telling journalists that the pressure is overwhelming - ‘I slept like a baby, I woke up crying four times in the night’ - and that he hasn’t got a clue whether he’ll be in charge for the next game. He eschewed the suit and tie look last night for a tracksuit which complemented his general unshaven dishevelment and he jumped up and down like a toddler when Spurs took the lead. But these are superficial factors, like any manager he should be judged on performances and results...
Lets try and be positive. Adebayor played well. History tells us that this does not necessarily mean he will play well again for six months, but it is something. For the first fifteen minutes of the game, the team, set up in a prosaic 4-4-2 formation, was on the front foot and looked pacy and enterprising. After that, save for the odd flash here and there - the goal being the best of them - Tottenham were not very good at all. By the end, they were very bad, every bit as ragged and chaotic as they’d been against Liverpool.
The worst thing is that, like that poor bloke on the toilet, we have no idea what’s going to happen next. It looks as if, despite its anti-AVB sentiment, the board had not lined up a new man so this could drag on. In the meantime, couldn’t we at least have a serious caretaker? Glenn Hoddle could walk in tomorrow and bring some sorely needed gravitas. Do it Daniel.