West Ham: Flog Matt Jarvis & Go All Out To Sign Gary Medel

Wrong manager, a whole bunch of players that I wouldn't be sad to see go and we have no youth allowed to come through... At least we're still in the league.
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Wrong manager, a whole bunch of players that I wouldn't be sad to see go and we have no youth allowed to come through... At least we're still in the league.

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West Ham: Flog Matt Jarvis & Go All Out To Sign Gary Medel

What’s going right?

We're still in the Premier League, which is nice.

What’s not?

We haven't used a player under the age of 25 in the league since January, which really doesn't bode well for the future.

Got the right manager?

Hahahahahaha

Star player?

Adrián has been an absolute revelation since taking over as our regular goalkeeper. Also Ravel Morrison was fantastic to watch in the first half of the season.

Who would you like to sell in the summer?

We've got a few players out of contract who I hope won't be offered a new deal - sadly one of these is Joe Cole, who has been a disappointment this season. It looks like we need to bring in a bit of cash for new signings, so with that in mind I wouldn't shed a tear if we took a bit of a hit on Matt Jarvis. To be honest there aren't that many players I'd be too upset to see go.

Who do you want to sign?

I've been impressed with Ross McCormack at Leeds and think he could add something to our squad, while Gary Medel would also be an asset (though I expect bigger clubs to come in for him). It would be nice to add a bit of creativity in midfield too, but I'm worried that people will look at the treatment of players like Antonio Nocerino and think twice about moving to the club, at least as long as Sam Allardyce is in charge.

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Best chant so far?

The one that goes "___ ___, he ___ when he wants." That's really original and definitely hasn't outstayed its welcome. No, really.

Best opposition player/team you’ve seen?

Sergio Agüero made us look pretty stupid when City came to Upton Park. We'd just beaten Spurs 3-0 and had been really solid in defence up to that point, but he made things look effortless.

Biggest w***** of the season?

Kevin Nolan's red cards against Liverpool and Fulham were inexcusable, not to mention embarrassing.

Funniest Moment of the season?

James Chester's own goal in the Hull game was comedy gold, though I'm still laughing at Youssuf Mulumbu's red card against us from last season.

Next season's prediction?

Matt Jarvis to take the ball down the left, fake to cut inside, drag it wide past the full back and float a cross into the goalkeeper's arms with his wrong foot. On a loop for 10 months, like that scene in A Clockwork Orange.

Follow Tom on Twitter, @TomVictor