Why David Beckham Shouldn't Go To The Olmpics

It's time for us to let go of Beckham, and put the team ahead of the individual at the Olympics...
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It's time for us to let go of Beckham, and put the team ahead of the individual at the Olympics...


Why Liverpool's Bellamy Should Go To The Olympics Instead Of David Beckham

David Beckham is a good-looking bloke.  He has great hair-whichever way he’s styling it- and he looks pretty buff in underwear that would make you or I exhibit all the sexiness of a bloaty seal (see above).  By the looks of things he’s probably a caring and sensitive Dad to the kids he’s raising with his former popstar wife.  He’s been a universal icon for Britain, the countries most well-known footballer since forever.  He helped win us the Olympics as well, and for that deserves our acclaim.

He’s also a pretty good footballer.  But it’s for all the reasons above, and more pertinently the fact we know all of them so well, that he shouldn’t go to the Olympics.

The line of thought among many seems to be that we, for want of a better word, ‘owe’ Beckham a place in the Olympic squad, or that his presence would attract a certain amount of attention that it needs.  But to include him for those reasons is wrong if we are serious about doing well in the competition.  If he was still the charging, energetic, free-kick-on-a-fivepence thoroughbred of his pomp then the circus that does, and would, revolve around Brand Beckham would be worth it.  Of course it would.

But he’s not that player anymore.  He’s 37.  This in itself is not a reason not to include him. But for the last cap-chasing phase of his England career he couldn’t get on the pitch for more than a couple of crowdpleasing minutes.  For all the good work of the MLS in increasing its standards, it would still compare to the Championship. He is slow, too slow for the wing so we would have to play him the middle; a role that the unimaginative among us would call the ‘quarterback’.  England are going to play Uruguay on August 1st in Cardiff and there is a very good chance that they will have Suarez, Cavani and Forlan scuttling about in the final third.  They wouldn’t just rip him a new arsehole, they’d give it back to him covered in hot sauce. Ditto Cisse and Ba for Senegal.

If he was still the charging, energetic, free-kick-on-a-fivepence thoroughbred of his pomp then the circus that does, and would, revolve around Brand Beckham would be worth it

To be fair to him, his assist record for the Galaxy is pretty good over the last couple seasons.  2 in 5 so far this,  19 in 30 last.  But it should be for a man that takes all the corners, and this is not reason enough to include him in the squad.  And it certainly isn’t when you consider the levels of nonsense that surrounded his every move and ablution.

So sorry, David, we love you but you just aren’t good enough to justify the nonsense.  The following players more than deserve their place in the squad.

Craig Bellamy

Craig Bellamy is a rotter, but a rotter it’s impossible to ignore. He’s the sort of player that wouldn’t give two f*cks it’s the Olympics, the sort that would lead a dressing room of flashy young bucks by example.  We all know he’s got a bit of chequered history, but all his on-field misdemeanours (and most of his off-field) are fuelled purely by his desire to win, and his frustration with anyone that doesn’t feel the same as him, and act appropriately.  Never quite a 1-in-2 man, he’s a steadfast 1-in-3, but brings so much more with his constant (very fast) running.  Adaptable too, can play as centrally in a two, on the wing or as the left-point of a front three.  No-brainer.

Joe Cole

I was in Lille in December and saw them play.  He did not look out of place next to Hazard, no mean feat considering Hazard is a player of unbelievable quality. Like Bellamy he’s flexible and despite having a decent career can lay claim to being a Great Unfulfilled Talent.  Whilst he was lucky enough to be at Chelsea during the Mourinho years, he spent most of that time on the left or as an impact sub, thus never having the opportunity to fulfil his potential in the middle.

One wonders what would have happened at Liverpool if he hadn’t got that red card in his first game.  Looks to have dropped out of the England picture (at least for now), but would bring some serious big-tournament experience to the table.

Steven Fletcher

Not the most exciting choice, but in a truly awful Wolves team he is one of the only players to come out this season with an increased reputation.  His goals were largely responsible for their okay-ish form in the first part of the season, though only 1 goal since January might put off the naysayers.  It looks as if Team GB will be going to including a lot of players who are interchangeable, but they need the player to link the play together.

If Crouch was still out of the England team he would be the perfect man for this, but now it looks like the Stoke striker will go to the Euros.

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