Wolves End Of Term Report: Mick Should've Been Sacked In May 2011

It was a season of misery and despair but hopefully the new manager Ståle Solbakken will return in July and move us in the right direction
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It was a season of misery and despair but hopefully the new manager Ståle Solbakken will return in July and move us in the right direction


Wolves End Of Term Report

The ‘I f*cking love this game’ highlight of the season?

The final whistle on the last day of the season away at Wigan - thank god it was finally all over. The misery and despair eked out over the season was rather like watching the slow and painful decline of a faithful old pet prior to being put out of its misery.

The season ticket shredding moment?

Swansea at home in October; we were 2 down after 35 minutes, playing dreadfully against a newly promoted team and managing to make them look like Barça. Two snatched goals in the last 6 minutes got us a massively undeserved point.

Moment that just about summed it all up?

The appointment of Terry Connor ‘The best man for the job’ - Clippo’s record: 13 games, no wins, 4 points from 39.

Seeing his post-match interviews made me realise why that lorry driver kicked his TV screen in when the Sex Pistols were on the Bill Grundy show.

Got the right manager?

Ståle Solbakken doesn’t officially take over until 01 July, so it remains to be seen. He has taken a DVD of every game last season back to Norway with him – obviously a fan of horror films. I hope he has already signed a binding contract, or we may not see him again after he’s got to the fifth disc.
One thing that does concern me is the fact that Connor is still at Molineux; hopefully he will only remain until Ståle gets his bearings.

Player of the season?

Is this a trick question?

What would you change next term if you were the gaffer?

Everything, from top to bottom – the club needs to look forward with a new ethos, we have been stuck in the past for far too long. Hopefully, Solbakken can implement some changes and move us in the right direction.

Which player would you like to sign?

I am hoping we will now have access to some talented Scandinavians!

Biggest own-goal?

Not sacking McCarthy after our final day survival last season. Ultimately staying loyal to Mick cost us our place in the top flight and a huge amount of revenue. Some people seem to think we will bounce straight back up, I don’t think it will be that straightforward.

Biggest tosser?

This is a difficult one, as far as I can see there are two main contenders:
1) Roger Johnson, the big money signing from Birmingham City who was made captain and flopped spectacularly. Our team spirit seemed to disintegrate after his arrival.

2) Jez Moxey, our C.E.O. He appears to have no empathy whatsoever with football fans and his spin puts the government to shame.

Best away pub?

I went to a decent pub just outside Barnsley a few years back; if I could remember what it was called I’d go again next season.

Best pie?

Bit of a problem getting a pie at Molineux for me, they no longer do the vegan-friendly Vegetable Balti pies. Pity, as they were lovely.

Best chant?

‘Que sera sera,
whatever will be will be,
we're going to Barns-ley,
que sera sera!

Oh the irony, given the fact that a son of Barnsley is the very reason we are going back there. Mind you, at least I’ll be able to get Golden Sheep Ale before the game.

Player’s tweet of the season?

O’Hara and Johnson’s partners appear to be the most adept at tweeting…probably best not to go there.

Best laugh you had all season?

Some of Moxey’s pronouncements had me in stitches, but the constant bullshi* and spin emanating from the club very quickly became more tedious than the Leveson enquiry.

Honourable mention for the bloke who called a local radio ‘phone in on Solbakken’s appointment and said ‘Never ‘eard of him, he must be crap…’

How do you plan to get through the summer without football?

Le Tour starts with the prologue in Liègeon June 30th before heading back into France to slog through the beautiful countryside, ending on the Champs Elysees on Sunday 22 July; hopefully World Champion Mark Cavendish can improve on his 5 stage wins of 2011.

Before that I may cast a glance at the European Championships now Roy Hodgson is in charge of the England team. I wouldn’t have bothered if ‘Arry had been appointed. I have a sneaking suspicion that we might actually do quite well.

Following that is the merry jamboree of people jumping with big sticks, running quite fast and splashing around in swimming pools that make up the Olympic Games.

Add to that a few days falling off my surfboard, and it’ll soon be time for the new season.

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