Yeovil Town Half Term Report: A Typical Revival, But It's All Going Wrong

Yeovil Town are struggling, the boardroom is in disarray and, despite a spirited turnaround in results recently, the displays on the pitch also leave a lot to be desired...
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Yeovil Town are struggling, the boardroom is in disarray and, despite a spirited turnaround in results recently, the displays on the pitch also leave a lot to be desired...

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Not much to cheer about...

Yeovil Town are struggling, the boardroom is in disarray and, despite a spirited turnaround in results recently, the displays on the pitch also leave a lot to be desired...

What’s going right?
Our now near-traditional revival of form has started early this season and we’re going into Christmas outside the relegation zone.

What’s not?
Literally everything else! From a silent owner, to land sales and asset splitting, through plummeting attendances to links with dodgy American investors and even out of date stock at the snack bars. We’ve also used 4 goalkeepers, including our previously retired goalkeeping coach.

Got the right manager?
He’s one of our own, got in as the cheap option to appease the fans a couple of seasons ago. However, he remains tactically naïve and those successful tactics he has found don’t please the purists! The Cup defeat to Fleetwood (our 3rd to non-league outfits in nearly as many years) won’t be forgiven any time soon.

Star player?
The pun-tastically named Ed Upson has come back stronger and fitter this season. He get’s stuck in, runs our midfield and weighs in with some beautiful long-range goals. Will no doubt walk away on a free in the summer after we fail to offer anything vaguely attractive in terms of a contract renewal.

The pun-tastically named Ed Upson has come back stronger and fitter this season. He get’s stuck in, runs our midfield and weighs in with some beautiful long-range goals

Who would you like to sell in January?
We can’t afford to lose any of the contracted players we have worth money, but as always, any offers received will be gratefully gobbled up by our ‘prudent’ board.

Who do you want to sign?
A loan extension for young QPR centre-back Max Ehmer was essential. We need to add a goalscorer on loan, we’ve tried at least 8 different strikers and God knows how many different combinations – nothing has worked so far. We would however settle for a keeper.

Best chant so far?
The failed attempts to get the name of equally clumsy centre-back Bondz N’Gala sung along to the James Bond theme were the funniest I’ve heard.

Best opposition player/team you’ve seen?
‘Credible’ home defeats against the big boys – Franchise FC, the then invincible Huddersfield and Sheffield ’s Various have left many underwhelmed.

Biggest **** of the season so far?
It seems the country is waking up to what we’ve known for years, BBC pundit  and Ex-Weymouth manager Steve ‘I played at the highest level don't you know’ Claridge is a ****. Don’t believe me? Check what’s trending on Twitter late on Saturday nights.

End of season prediction?

Another against-all-odds survival and then we’ll watch our best 7 players walk away when the contract offers finally go out. Will be the same again next year…but with fewer fans.

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