The hallowed Rules of the Internet provide: “Rule 15. The Harder you try, the harder you fail.” From the very beginning, the internet expects humanity to commit at least one epic fail in their lives. Common sense is not so common nowadays. Millions of years of evolution have led us to the creation of multitudes of fail videos that will make our Cro Magnon ancestors weep and say “I didn’t out evolve the Neanderthals for this.” Well, at least they’re funny. And most of all, at least the people in the videos aren't me - yet.
With these videos, it suddenly became hard for me to understand how humanity has come this far. Did we mess up somewhere in between the evolutionary process? We will never know. But one thing is for sure: if archaeologists see how we acted hundreds of years from now, they would all be laughing their asses off.
1) "The Cake is a Lie"
The news feature was actually a serious video on a ghost hunting session in Oklahoma. If you want to see the actual fail, go to 2:36 of the video. These self-proclaimed “ghost hunters” took a classic internet joke seriously and even gave it a “cryptic meaning about a reward not given.” I am talking about the CAKE IS A LIE message written on a blackboard. I’d suggest that they should spend more time in the internet so they could see that their “proof” was actually an overused internet meme years ago.
2) Awning Owns Girl
Here we see a classic girl drinking, awning and falling, all happening in a short span of time. With the little dialogue supplied, I guess we could make up the events that led to her fall.
Girl: (Crying) Oh no! I hate my life. I don’t understand how much goddarn everything goddarn cost and how much goddarn money I didn’t have on my goddarn self. I need to drink! Okay wait, I don’t have money to go on a bar so maybe, I can sit here on the chair. But no, that’s too boring. How about…hmmmn, oh I think I am fine here.
The girl sat on the awning instead because she thought that maybe sitting on it would make her a little more awesome. Then, a few minutes later, “Ahhhh! Buggggggsssh,” she fell off and disappeared.
Losing common sense is never easy. Defying gravity through drinking and sitting on a weak awning would never ever make you feel better, though it will let you see rotating stars and hear chirping birds.
3) Which is faster: a komodo dragon or a woman?
This is a question that should have been left unanswered. Komodo dragons are one of the most dangerous animals to mess around with; a single scratch from its teeth could lead to amputation. Then there’s Japan: the home of everything batshit weird. Having a woman dressed in kimono race against a komodo dragon with meat tied to her back is something that Japanese would clearly gladly do for entertainment.
4) Robbery Fail
In the land down under, a gang of thieves proved their utter stupidity by robbing an ATM by setting fire on it. If I only have enough hands to make a quadruple face palm, I would have done already. The fail level is over 9000.