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10 Things That Will Fuck Up Your Business

by Howard Turner
23 June 2014 84 Comments

If you're about to set up a business there are a number of things you need to know if you don't want to end up standing around a burning oil drum under the flyover and teling everyone about the great business you had.

You

You will  be the main thing that fucks up your business, because until you get partners, then you are totally responsible for the decisions that will ultimately determine  success or failure. No pressure.  Harry S Truman had a sign on his desk that said “ The buck stops here”.  I have that sign on my desk and I suggest you get one as well.  The quicker you realise that the business is down to you and you alone the better.  Take complete responsibility, work hard, focus and crack on. There are very few shoulders to cry on and remember – no one else really gives a fuck about you or your business.

Cashflow

Cash is king. End of. Cashflow kills more SME (Small/Medium enterprises) businesses than anything else. It does not matter if you have orders coming out of your arse and your invoices are flying out of the door.  Unless you can collect the money in a timely fashion and meet your costs every month then lack of cash will kill your business. Before long you will be sitting round a burning oil drum under the flyover, passing round the crack pipe and telling everyone about the great business you had.

The Bank

Because you own them now and to make up for completely causing the recession, the bank has been instructed to lend more money to small businesses like yours. In response to this they are lending absolutely fuck-all to small businesses like yours.  They are not lending to small businesses and anyone who says that they are lending to small businesses is a stupid, deluded, lying cunt.  The only time the bank will lend you any money is when you have loads of money and don’t need it.  They are trying to recoup their costs so they can pay each other enormous bonuses again.  Why on earth would they want to risk giving you any money, you fucking idiot?

It took me three weeks to set up a company business account recently due to the bank fucking up and losing information that they were sending by post (presumably using a pony)around the UK. In that time I lost three weeks of cashflow (see point 2) The bank will pull your business overdraft anytime they feel like it and they will ask for personal guarantees against money owed – typically your house.  This is an assurance that they will never fail, and end up round the oil drum, under the flyover, unlike you. The bank will really try to fuck up your small business.

The bank has been instructed to lend more money to small businesses like yours. In response to this they are lending absolutely fuck-all to small businesses like yours.

The Government

The Government, or more specifically, HMRC and Customs & Excise will conspire to fuck up your small business.  They are the single most inflexible and sinister organisations you will ever come across.  If you are Vodaphone for example you can quite happily pay fuck all tax and get away with it all day long.  If you are a plumber, hairdresser or any other small business that accidentally flouts their rules they will come down on you like a ton of bricks and will not stop until you have either paid them back, killed yourself or are fucking bankrupt. That is because you don’t count.  BIG Business counts because BIG business lends yachts and villas to politicians and makes donations to political parties. Don’t believe me?  Try putting your VAT return in late and see what happens. Still don’t believe me?  Ask any small business for their HMRC horror story.

The Competition

The competition will steal your ideas, your clients and your staff.  They will do anything to fuck your business up.  In extreme cases they will buy your business, asset strip it, kick everyone out and shut it down to gain market share.  They will bitch about you and slander you. To be honest, they are probably the least of your problems though. That is because you are a Tiger. ROARHHHHH.

Other People

Don’t worry if you can’t fuck your business up on your own,  you’ll get loads of help. Consultants, Accountants, Partners, Hangers On, Web Developers etc Will all give 100% to try and fuck your business up. If you are a kind, considerate, charitable person with strong values (as I believe I am) they will see you coming and drain you dry. My first business partner was a ruthless sociopath, my second set of partners made her look like Mother Theresa.  You have no friends in business. Everyone is trying to make money out of you or by using you. Just occasionally, you may find someone who does not conform to this stereotype.  All they are doing is trying to lull you into a false sense of security, you gullible dickhead.

Consultants, Accountants, Partners, Hangers On, Web Developers etc Will all give 100% to try and fuck your business up. If you are a kind, considerate, charitable person with strong values (as I believe I am) they will see you coming and drain you dry.

The Global Recession

Watching the news on the BBC the other day, the newsreader was saying that the UK was “in danger of falling back into recession”.  What fucking planet are they on?  Do they seriously think that we have come out of recession since 2008?  I don’t know about you, but it does not appear to me that the recession has got any better for anyone except for the likes of Hedge Fund

Managers and Insolvency Practioners

A global recession is a sure way of fucking up your business. You cannot predict a global recession (if you could we would be all OK) but you can prepare yourself properly for one….which brings me onto costs.

Costs

It is tempting when you are doing well to “go for it” and growth is very important – businesses either go backward or forwards, they never stay the same so, repeat, measured growth is very important.  The problem with the last boom is that we all went for it bigtime.  Case Study: Gordon Ramsay Holdings.  He used to own one restaurant (Aubergine) that should have been perfectly adequate.  Instead he went for it.  He fucking went for it alright – he wanted Total Global Posh Restaurant Domination and set about opening restaurants left, right and centre.  All of this growth meant more and more costs – buildings, people, stock, designers, raw materials, marketing and it was all funded on potential future revenues.  When the music stopped in 2008 he found himself in the wrong place and nearly went bankrupt. Ditto me, and countless others. Keep costs down. You don’t need big offices, cars in the car pool, extra staff etc unless you can pay for them. I don’t think Ramsay helped things by shagging around and having his father in law as his business partner. Just saying.

Complacency & Laziness

Instead of working today I am typing this and in a minute I am going to watch the re-run of Fresh Meat on 4 on Demand.  That is why I will never be Lord Sugar and why my business may or may not work. If you are lazy (like me) and have a sleeping bag at work then you need to be very talented and very good at what you do (not like me).  Otherwise you are going to need to be working very long hours and putting in the effort.  This is not going to be a 9-5 job.  If you ever get complacent you will be brought crashing to earth very quickly when the cash starts running out and wondering if the 7 hour lunches and trips to titty bars were worth it. Allegedly.

Staff

Whatever style of management you choose, it will be shit and wrong.  If you treat people like adults they will take the piss.  If you are a raging cunt, they will take the piss.  Whatever you do, you are always the boss and there is nothing you can do about it. Don’t do what I did and try to be everyone’s mate, you just look like a worse, unfunny version of David Brent.  Unless you own the company or are Chief Breast Oiler at Razzle, work is shit and will always be shit.  Don’t expect them to love it, they rarely will. You will never be able to afford to pay them enough to enjoy coming to work on a Monday and even if you are a benevolent employer, they will still think nothing of going for the big tribunal Payout, nicking Bics and throwing sickies.  Staff you have nutured since they left school will leave your business, take your clients and flick the V’s on the way out. By all means stick a pool table in the canteen and do” It’s A Knockout” on your work day out because they’ll really love you then, you stupid twat.

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

robin lee 10:43 am, 28-Oct-2011

great article. ta. my advice is dont borrow from banks, don't employ anyone, don't rent premises. just be a 'consultant'. no overheads, no crap, in, do the job, keep people happy, out, get paid. go on holiday, come back, repeat.....

Ben 12:02 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Funny stuff, I enjoyed that a lot

Ian 12:14 pm, 28-Oct-2011

as someone who owns a small business i couldn't agree more with this article - sounds romantic owning a business, reality is so much harder

natasha 12:35 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Properly Spot on!!! Believe me, I've been there!! Brilliant article.

Anne Trope(Miss) 12:36 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Brilliant Article. 100% true in all respects. Anyone thinking of starting a business should be forced to read it.

Frank Kirkham 1:47 pm, 28-Oct-2011

First, HMRC are Customs & Excise (and the former Inland Revenue) Second, If you are a grown adult why do you find the need to sprinkle cunt, shit, and twat throughout your article? it's not big, it's not clever, and it's not needed. Apart from that an OK article.

Howard 2:17 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Frank, you are probably right, I have always just thought of them as two separate entities. You are also right about my swearing, but it is how I speak in general, sadly.

Madame Sheath 3:02 pm, 28-Oct-2011

@Frank. Whilst pedant's corner is currently full of the other 'angry men/women' that post on here I am sure a space can be cleared for your self-righteous pompous self. As regards the use of expletives, might I suggest that these are oft employed to express frustration, exasperation, suppressed anger and other strong emotions, which have clearly been felt by the author at one time or another. You obviously choose not to enrich your own vocabulary with such bons mots hence why your comments are so dull….

Andy Southgate 3:07 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Very funny article. I love it.

James G 4:23 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Good article and quite amusing, I work for insolvency practitioners, would you like my card?!

Howard 4:36 pm, 28-Oct-2011

@James, I have cried about three times as an adult male and one of those times was using your profession. I am sure you are busy enough.

Andy Southgate 5:23 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Frank Kirkham - don't suppose you fancy meeting up for a few pints? You sound a right laugh. Howard - Inland Revenue and Customs and Excise were separate entities not that long ago, so you were right to think of them as such. They merged in 2005 however and are now HMRC.

griff 5:26 pm, 28-Oct-2011

brilliant. all true. i hate HMC. when some bloke rings me up to bollock me for being late, a bloke who is paid out of my tax money who will sleep at night knowing they'll get paid whilst you crap yourself about meeting the payroll.

Amelia 8:55 pm, 28-Oct-2011

Brilliant!! Would love to hear some more insights (with even more swear words!).

mal 9:20 am, 29-Oct-2011

frank- it is an unwritten law amongst small business owners that you cannot mention the acronym HMRC without also using the words fuck and cunt in the same sentence. twat.

Petebonics 11:10 am, 31-Oct-2011

Ace and depressing in equal measure. Great article chap!

www.thegreenwichbarber.com 3:37 pm, 31-Oct-2011

Anyone who has dealt with HMRC/The Taxman unless they work for them? knows all about expletives. I got dragged over the coals because I'd been to the U.S twice in a calender year for 12 days in total. And due to that they wouldn't believe I didn't own property there? Then a few years later I had to explain why my mate had put £35 into my personal account from his? He owed it me and he lives a distant away and internet banking is convenient? It's not rocket science. But was the equivalent of drowning babies to them!

wollaton barbershop 11:10 pm, 31-Oct-2011

After 12years of having my own business i fully agree with this article and thinks its spot on and funny to read!!!

The Queen of 1994 5:55 pm, 4-Nov-2011

You forgot the telephone and power companies. My phone and broadband provider sent me a bill every month for 6 months even though they hadn't been out to install it yet, (and you should try building a reputation as a high street retailer with only a mobile phone). My electricity provider estimated my bills as between £400 and £1,500 a month for a shop with 3 light bulbs, a till, a fridge and a kettle, for over a year even though i provided meter reads every month. They even sent baliffs who went away when i showed them that the meter reading was 9,000 units less than the bills they had sent me. Oh and of course most of the calls to the electricity supplier were on my personal mobile because the phone hadn't been installed, so HMRC won't let me claim them as a business expense !!

John 11:24 pm, 12-Nov-2011

Classic.....oh frank! Your a cunt!

John M Hammond 5:24 pm, 25-Nov-2011

HMRC are just there to fuck you over . In There words "they can take legal action about underpayments and they do not have to contact you till they issue the formal legal action. and when they do try to phone you they will only try once so do not be on the other phone or on the undergraound or out of service as you will never know the baliff are coning round till they turn up

Mr Controversial 8:07 pm, 17-Dec-2011

Why does Frank have to repeat "cunt, shit, and twat" He Should set an example if he doesn't want "cunt, shit, and twat" seen on these web pages. I think "cunt, shit, and twat" were integral to the article. I look forward to seeing "cunt, shit, and twat" in future writings.

tony 11:16 am, 30-Jan-2012

Brilliant article sounds like a re-run of my life,all i can advise anyone reading this is to either join the FSB which has the best tax avoidance staff on the planet,all ex-HMRC,or get your own tax investigation insurance,if your accountant does not do this,change accountants,also get yourself a copy of an e-book called "tax-hell" it will give you a list of all the illegal practices HMRC use to shaft you,it saved my arse.Cost them fifty grand to investigate me they got feck all,not one cent!My accountants bill was £8000.00 and all i paid was £150.00,see a pattern forming here?Get that E-book costs £10.00,good luck to all.One last thing I have made three fortunes in my life from working abroad,i lost two of them by coming back to the u.k through stupidity gulability and greed,i have one left and i am hanging on to it.You cannot get rich in Europe,it just isnt their anymore,buy youself a safe if you take cash and leave it at your mothers house.

EMEM3 8:00 pm, 15-Feb-2012

...Howard Turner... Your piece is exceptional... I too have lived this life... My last Accountant who also took a huge chunk in fees observed..."Your that busy cuddling people...whilst they are butt-fucking you"...your gonna end up with an arse like a Liverpool rosette...and Frank why the fuck would you come on Sabotage times if you are offended by full use of the Dictionary... I stand firmly with Madame Sheath on this one

Raj 8:27 pm, 15-Aug-2012

Great article and absolutely true. It seems though you have gone full circle and hopefully got enough knowledge now to beat the things that brought you down. Don't make the same mistakes ( ultimately your fault for not reading minds and knowing the future) and get back to running the biz. You still in the game but wiser

Howard 9:14 am, 16-Aug-2012

After losing nearly everything,I'm now working as a freelancer and enjoying a good standard of living. I often have time to sit in the office and read books or write (I've started a novel)so there are some positives out of what happened to me. The negatives are the amount of money I lost and my faith in other people. I am slightly bitter now. My dad (who died in the middle of my business problems) will be more proud of me now, not because I got up off the canvas, but because I got up with a more liberal and empathetic view of people.My eyes became open to society's imbalance. I'll take that.

jpkeates 11:48 am, 23-Aug-2012

Basically it comes down to cashflow and a good accountant. And having an idea that is going to work in the first place. And a huge dollop of good luck. Other than that it's just incredibly hard work.

johnnyw 12:03 pm, 23-Aug-2012

used to work for myself for 10 years, 18 hour days 7 days a week very little holidays always worried about money, now i work for the government best move i ever made, mon to fri 9 to 5 6 weeks holidays no stress guaranteed income

SteveT 2:59 pm, 23-Aug-2012

Excellent article -- funny and pithy.

jo griffiths 3:26 pm, 23-Aug-2012

Loved this article, every word is gospal. I've had my own businesses for 10 years and learnt far too slowly that people will shaft you as quick as look at you and have no hesitation in stealing your ideas if you appear to be successful. Get to grips with this, get a great accountant who knows his stuff, watch your cashflow like it's your own blood and your life and business will be so much better! Ps. LOVE Fresh Meat

Smarty 6:17 pm, 23-Aug-2012

Excellent article, Frank this may not be the forum for you matey...

JLF 10:08 pm, 23-Aug-2012

Had a small business and learnt the hard way that cash really is king. My advice is that you try to forecast cash: your accountant should be able to help if you can't face doing it yourself.

J Mark Dodds 4:40 pm, 24-Aug-2012

Great piece. It's absolutely accurate, contains not a jot of hype or exaggeration and is essentially almost perfect but DEFINITELY not enough swearing or profanities. Otherwise I'd have thought that I wrote it in my own insomnia driven sleep. I definitely wish I had written it. My business kept going for the best part of a decade on cash flow before bankruptcy hit me like a wrecking ball so I had time to get ready for it. Thanks for taking the time off to post. I will distribute as far and wide as possible. Respect

J Mark Dodds 4:51 pm, 24-Aug-2012

Very funny comment by mal: frank- it is an unwritten law amongst small business owners that you cannot mention the acronym HMRC without also using the words fuck and cunt in the same sentence. twat. Thanks for that Mal

Nick 11:30 am, 27-Aug-2012

So true. Especially the part about HMRC. They are such bullying shits.

Rick 10:20 pm, 26-Sep-2012

I live in NZ and I'm in the restaurant business. The Inland Revenue Department here is full of twats who don't communicate and try their best to fuck up your life. They have no idea what's going on with your files all the while implying that they do. I'm not against paying taxes but their ways of dealing with people are barbaric. They've been told to back off a bit because of a few suicides in the last few years. Still a bunch of cunts though. See, the flowery language applies over here too.

WittZi 4:12 pm, 8-Oct-2012

Couldn't agree more! HMRC is STILL ruthlessly pursuing our business due to a minor issue with the accounting periods that we used on our first return! As a small business that posted an (expected) loss in it's first year, the last thing we need is a random £400 fine when we tried everything we could to get it right. They're even checking call records to confirm whether we're telling the truth ... over £400!

Bob A. Job 7:04 pm, 8-Oct-2012

This article should be given as compulsory reading at everyone of the many 'business start-up' workshops and seminars provided by cunts from local councils, and usually run by failed fuckwits with delusions of grandeur, in every town and city in the country. If there was more honesty from the outset, plenty of people could avoid the pitfalls of small business and would have a better idea what to expect. I personally think that anyone found selling the romanticised version of what business is about should be publicly  castrated and fed their own testicals. Hope that's not you Frank? 

Harold Monk 7:05 am, 9-Oct-2012

I find the best thing to do is avoid hard work and do credit card fraud.The banks don't admit it's going on cos they don't want to scare customers away.It's happening everywhere all the time.It's easy to do and means you don't have to get up early and spend the day with people you don't like.Go on.You know it makes sense...

Howard 2:31 pm, 10-Oct-2012

I was going through a few things from the old business the other day and found this email I'd written to my accountant re: HMRC Enjoy: http://nolittleman.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/inland-revenue-haggling/

Lee Taylor 5:47 pm, 10-Oct-2012

Frank, I refer you to the quote below: “The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. Mark Twain. I am an adult and the word Cunt should be in the dictionary with the definition "HMRC operative. see also Harmanite (a Cunt who makes you pay for other peoples children via maternity leave (including paying them holiday pay when they are not at work!!!) and arranging your business around emergency family leave, and then, uses other Cunts (like the Equality Commission) to enforce legislation that it is discrimination if you dont like paying for fuck all!)". See also "Blair" (verb: to be Blaired up the ringer)".

Nick Shaw 6:24 pm, 10-Oct-2012

Workplace fatalities also destroy businesses

k-g 7:04 pm, 10-Oct-2012

Great article. Needs to be said.

Mark chambers 9:11 pm, 10-Oct-2012

After being self employed for around 22 years that is the best and most accurate article describing Buisness life I have ever had the pleasure to read especially HMRC there c**ts

mark elkington 8:41 am, 11-Oct-2012

Spot on.

Dave 11:37 am, 11-Oct-2012

All good, I had a small business but it was brought down by a couple of idiot who got into my website and kept altering it 'for a laugh' it turned out, and used to host videos on my you-tube channel and they got into that as well, again 'for a laugh', eventually had police involvement but damage was done then, so it only takes a couple of complete idiots to kill off something that could have been great. my 5 pence worth. Dave

Dave 8:32 am, 13-Oct-2012

Absolutley brilliant. I love and relate to this article.

Marielle Wopereis 12:14 am, 16-Oct-2012

If this is only half true for small business owners - I suspect it might be - you are all heroes and heroines for keeping the economy on bypass ...

Aathavan F 12:37 pm, 17-Oct-2012

Hilarious article! And very true, not sure why people are taking offence to the language - maybe you guys are on the wrong website.

Bryan S. 7:53 pm, 17-Dec-2012

Family should be added to this list..!! If your Opening a restaurant business, never hire FAMILY! THEY COME TO WORK LATE, ARE RUDE TO CUSTOMERS CAUSE THEY TNINK YOU WON'T FIRE FAMILY, THEY DON'T CALL AND JUST DON'T SHOW UP AND WHEN YOU ASK WHY, THEY'LL TELL YOU TO FECK OFF! TEXTING ON THE JOB.. SERIOUSLY, HAVE ANYONE EVER WATCHED "RESTAURANT STAKE OUT?" OR "RESTAURANT IMPOSSIBLE" JUST BE VERY CAREFUL IF YOU ONLY CHOOSE FAMILY BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT USE PETROLEUM WHILE FUCKING YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS OVER. THAT INCLUDES DISGRUNTLED HUSBANDS & WIVES TOO..

phil 11:00 am, 22-Jan-2013

Spot on. Tried to talk to these guys at hmrc today. It would of been more polite of them to tell me they don't give a fuck.

Sian Gaskin 10:37 am, 28-Feb-2013

FANTASTIC - although I switched off a bit after the first C*** word but carried on regardless. I stopped reading completely after the second appearance. Fab article but the effect of it completely deflated by the language - sorry!

Legendary Loner 9:12 pm, 7-Mar-2013

Brilliant.Loved it.

Paul 11:04 pm, 7-Mar-2013

Made me laugh out loud. Especially the government bit.

Malcolm 1:16 am, 8-Mar-2013

I've had two businesses in my life and can vouch for every single word of this article. Made me laugh out loud in recognition. Thanks for putting it together, Howard. And Frank - get over yourself. This is the real world and you know what, we like a bit of the old sweary, as it happens. As the inimitable Mr Connolly was wont to say. "I must know at least 10,000 words; and I still prefer 'Fuck'!!"

SagaxSenex 12:55 pm, 8-Mar-2013

Totally nailed it Howard. Just totally nailed it.

Anders 2:05 pm, 12-Mar-2013

A book needs to be written around the sentence ''Unless you own the company or are Chief Breast Oiler at Razzle, work is shit and will always be shit.'' It would be a one page book. Just saying that. Best seller for the next gozillion years.

sugandhi rymond 11:05 pm, 25-Mar-2013

good, well done.................lots of new information..............good ideas, confident and so on........

roy 1:05 pm, 6-Apr-2013

The one clear benefit, which is evident from reading the comments and the article, is the growth of the awareness of the world...running business is beyond difficult but at least we enjoy a balanced view of the world as a result. those who understand the reality versus those who complain about cursing. As you say ..your father would be proud

Ly 4:57 am, 28-Apr-2013

So fucking funny!

Phil K 8:01 am, 30-Apr-2013

Very very funny. Thanks for that.

m 2:07 am, 3-Jun-2013

Does one have to really utilise dreadful language on a website or expect it to be read or listened to by others whilst the author and those leaving remarks are also utilising such offensive language? Vulgar and offensive language incurs an £80 fine within the Sussex Police Authority within the UK and although I understand the Metropolitan Police of London UK have made it known to me personally that they find swearing (as in utilisation of vulgar and unacceptable language) acceptable this is not necessarily the thought and mentor of the entire population of the world If one wishes to write an article to be internetted, expecting people to read and share it, then one may find it more favourable to be rather more polite with regard their choice of words within their report

m 2:44 am, 3-Jun-2013

Sorry that my telling you that an £80 fine could be incurred for offensive language Sorry that you failed to post my comment

Golgo13 9:21 pm, 11-Jun-2013

There are plenty of articles written in nice sweet terms on the web that those of you wishing to can read..A lot of us happen to enjoy the honestly of what is really crossing the author's mind. Swearing does not make him any less intellingent and does not degrade the point in any way.. Not to say that it cant be innappropriate but lets face it.. You read the title and clearly you wanted more..

One Bottle 6:33 pm, 1-Aug-2013

Greetings All, a comment from across the Pond-from one who has been working for that 'other' govt for too long now and considering staring my own business. Suffice to say that my workmates are wondering why it is that I'm laughing into my hand the last 10 min! Loved the article-bookmarking the page! Thanks!

Mosh 2:52 pm, 15-Aug-2013

Probably the most honest and entertaining view on business I have ever read, and i have read and seen a lot of business shite in my time.

david 5:32 pm, 15-Aug-2013

You can boil all of this down and say its YOU who can fuck up the business. The Inland revenue WILL help you quite a lot, as long as you are straight with them. Other companies who you need to rely upon, will not shit on you if you tell them your situation, and what you want. They will not try and fuck you up at all, as they want and need your repeat business and referrals. Perhaps a bit more research was needed for this article, as it was utter shite. Im talking from a very small business owner myself, and have lot of friends who are the same.

Chris 5:46 pm, 15-Aug-2013

Dear m. Judging by your drivel i can only assume you work for HMRC. £80 fine? Fine. Fuck off Regards

Julesz 1:09 am, 16-Aug-2013

Great article, fits with everything my relatives and friends who run businesses have ever told me. I hope more UK businesses will seek loans from local credit unions in future. Much more realistic and knowledgeable than most banks. Meanwhile I'll stick with what I know best - buying goods and services from local businesses.

BGA 2:04 am, 16-Aug-2013

Best article ever written on the subject. Every word is 1000% true.

Simon Brown 1:08 pm, 16-Aug-2013

I imagine this article is meant to be funny. It isn't. It's painfully, painfully true. (sobs). But thank you anyway :(

@last 7:12 am, 4-Sep-2013

Well written, very funny and easily to the point. I have an sme right now and am going through all the angst that it causes! I've even contemplated throwing in the towel but my determination to succeed is getting in the way and causing me huge personal problems!!!! I just don't know when to quit AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

Ron 9:13 pm, 26-Sep-2013

HMRC. What a bunch of usles robbing CUNTS. Try and earn a living, work hard. Then HMRC comes and Fucks u over. Your better off being a bum dolie. Im so fucking angry I could explode. Need to calm down, sorry for the language.

mike 10:46 am, 8-Oct-2013

family & friends , never ever work with them, a nightmare,

Howard 10:10 am, 14-Oct-2013

david - 10/10 for trolling, 0/10 for constructive criticism, "utter shite" isn't stacking up when 98% of people on here agree with the sentiment of the article. Research? 18 years in business. Stick that up your hoop son.

lakshmi narayana perni 3:30 pm, 4-Nov-2013

the article now a days is usefull since the market has gone in to global platform, hence i believe all the tips are practically usefull and it can be implemented.

dave 10:00 pm, 10-Jan-2014

spot on, the HMRC are about as much use as a three legged race horse, to small businesses When your in business the people who take ,borrow and owe you become the complete cast of wankers are us , no one helps you and no one gives a shit

Jae Kai 7:21 am, 12-Jan-2014

It's a great article and there's no doubt having your own business is totally exhausting, but so is working in the corporate world. 18 hours a day, 7 days a week in the corporate world, every ounce of blood drained from my body. Working for myself allows me much more flexibility, but of course I don't earn very much money. Everything comes at a cost though. The insights and the humour in the article were great, but I didn't appreciate the expletives. I feel they are totally disrespectful to the human anatomy and activities and show a lack of understanding of the english language. Not necessary and far too much of it used in everyday conversations. Very trashy, from the gutter speak. Jae

Fred 6:37 am, 18-Mar-2014

1:30 in the morning and still sending e-mails from home, closed outlook ....had two glasses of red wine and just chilling before I hit the sack ... found this article...thank you, thank you thank you, I really needed to read it and have a good laugh...must tell you, could not help opening outlook again and forwarding this to some people that will really appreciate it. Cheers!!!

Michael 4:25 pm, 6-Apr-2014

My experience in business is different to this article. Perhaps its the area we are in, but most of our clients are nice people and my staff are on the whole ok - aside from the sicky problem. Not had a problem with HMRC or my account, but the biggest twat I've come up against is the time one - or the lack of it. I get up at 4am and do a 14 hour day mon-fri. If I dont stop for the weekend, I'm useless the following week. Time, number of things to do, deadlines, and constantly apologising for other companys' fuck ups. Great fucking writing though, even if it doesnt completely match my personal experience.

a miserable cow 12:45 am, 9-Jul-2014

Really feeling like packing it all in. Your article has made me realise im not alone. Swearing makes me fucking feel better so bollocks to not swearing. Still dont want to go in tomorrow.

Keith Hehir Lynch 4:30 pm, 23-Jul-2014

You made me larf you funny fucker

Duncan 9:30 pm, 16-Aug-2014

You my friend... ARE A FUCKING ICON! Let's all give a cheer for this guy because I just used all if these points in my business proposal to extent my contract with my client. Harsh, realistic and cut throat is the only way to survive in business.

UpTownGirl 2:08 am, 31-Oct-2014

So hilarious just shared & posted on my FB time-line and that of my m8s and my other m8s time-lines. David u Arse, why RU so highly strung? Wait till u do 1 thing out of place and u fall victim to the HMRC. Go take a chill pill..

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