The Daily Sport
No grown man in their right mind would read such drivel now, but as a boy you'd happily chase this red top blowing down the street like a Jack Russell. You might have found a random sun-bleached page 3 every now and again but the WHOLE newspaper, not soaked by the rain? Now that was a keeper. Most likely found on building sites, hedges and dads sheds.
Generally unheard of, but once in a blue moon you’d hear mythical stories of finding parental copies, or the ideal scenario of getting your sister's boyfriend to buy you one. Shiny and placed tantalisingly out of reach on the top shelf, only the brave would attempt a purchase on your own (and by purchase I mean popping one between the pages of Match).
The Lingerie Section in Catalogues
Desperate times, desperate pleasures. They were essentially junk-mail but quite useful once you passed the watches, tools and paddling pool offers. Lingerie shoots generally looked too classy and functional to give the sexually under-developed teen version of myself the horn, but those beige see-through ones were quite good.
Red Shoe Diaries
It's 1999, It’s late and you’ve evaded being sent to bed by pretending to finish your art homework (art isn‘t even one of your subjects). The truth is Red Shoe Diaries, a steamy softcore soap narrated by David Duchovony, is about to start. There are two rules: you watch it on mute and you change the channel when you hear ANY OTHER SOUND.
The 10 Minute Freeview
When Sky launched their Playboy and Fantasy X channels they gave you a ten minute blast of hastily edited nakedness and women biting their bottom lip (a move which incidentally I would never see anyone do ever in real life) before cutting out. Presumably hundreds of men illicitly whispered their bank details down the landline to upgrade to the real deal, but at 14 years old my cash had already gone on baccy and wham bars.