Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

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I Hate Photos of Your Baby On Facebook

You spawned some progeny. Well done. But please don't think your baby is unique or funny or "special". You're just annoying...

When you get to a certain age you can’t move for them. Baby photos. Baby photos everywhere you turn. All babies look the same, every last one but nevertheless earnest mothers and fathers pepper your inbox, Facebook feed and Twitter timeline with endless photos of a ball of flesh. A blank canvas of a tiny person devoid of any thought, use or intrigue. Fuck you and your baby.

You kick off with the first ultrasound scan being plastered everywhere. It’s a collection of cells, nothing else. It’s not even a human being yet. Not even alive, so why are you sticking it up as your profile picture?  It’s a grainy x-ray of your womb, the lobby of your vagina up on Facebook for all to see.  You don’t see me putting up an x-ray of my spermatozoon as my profile picture do you?

The worst photos come minutes after birth. When your “beautiful baby” looks like the spawn of a particularly ugly alien, yet this kid is up on the World Wide Web before they’ve even cleared your vaginal slime from it’s throat. Your afterbirth is more appealing to look at.

Girls that once had the most remarkable photos of them staggering around outside Yates’s with their tits and arse hanging out now fill up my feed with images of their dumb kid. Before you wanted to scream: “Look how fabulous I am!” now you are just shouting: “Look how my life is progressing in accordance with conventional expectations.”

Then what really gets my goat is these people have the baby as their profile picture. Why? You aren’t your baby. Your baby isn’t you. That baby is an independent human separate from you. One day that kid will call you a “bitch” under their breath. Will ignore your phone calls. Will not visit you in hospital. Will not have you as their profile picture. And what an invasion of that kids privacy anyway. This isn’t The Lion King. With your baby shown up like a shit Simba for the world to see. Your kid is not a future king of the jungle. He or she is another Tory voter. Just another drone in the circle of shite.


David Mitchell Ranting About Diets

10 Reasons To Hate Facebook

Worse still what about your self-respect? You aren’t good enough for your own Facebook profile photo? Your life is really that meaningless and devoid of achievement that the best you can offer is a baby. Producing a baby is no achievement ladies. You had sex, nature took its course and the baby came out when it was ready. Oh, you pushed and labour was hard? Brilliant. No one holds in a baby like a fart they want no one to smell.

Baby photos are precious but daily documentation of your feckless nappy filler and projectile vomiter is unnecessary. You had a child, well done, you are supposed to. Sort of why we are all here. Half a million babies are born everyday. There’s nothing-special going on. It’s the raising the child that’s the important bit. Making sure the kid is polite, doesn’t shout in restaurants and grows up to not be a pointless twat that puts up photos of their own child like their attention seeking, worthless life living parents did.

Oh, and if you ever take a photo of your baby holding a beer you are a cunt.

If you like it, Pass it on

image descriptionCOMMENTS

Ritchie 10:10 am, 22-Nov-2012

The best article I've ever read on ST. The author deserves a handshake with a back slap.

David Hillier 10:27 am, 22-Nov-2012

I hate righteous mums on Facebook. I just block them though. Try it, pal.

Simon Quinlank 10:36 am, 22-Nov-2012


Lieutenant Shinysides 10:47 am, 22-Nov-2012

Amen to that. I had someone delete me on facebook cos I went on a serious rant about how ugly their fucking child was, and how no cunt in their right mind wanted to see it. Job done for me, never saw the unfortunate shit again.

Steve Zacharanda 11:31 am, 22-Nov-2012

"have you got kids? Well you wouldn't understand........"

Asa Thorp 11:38 am, 22-Nov-2012

Brilliant, great rant, great quick read and made me laugh Bravo Anonymous, bravo

Phil 11:45 am, 22-Nov-2012

Have you considered that if you don't give a fuck about your friend's kids, that you're probably not actually really friends with them at all?

robin lee 11:47 am, 22-Nov-2012

I agree.

ben 11:48 am, 22-Nov-2012

im guessing you dont have kids...

Howard 12:11 pm, 22-Nov-2012

Well, I've got 3 kids and I agree with all of this. Well done x

Nick 12:12 pm, 22-Nov-2012

I hate all facebook. Not only pictures of your baby, but also you in the pub, you on your driving lesson, you at the park, you getting ready for work, and all the rest of the tawdry, peurile acts that make up your life. I think I'm the only person at work who doesn't have a facebook account, and the thing I hate most is that smug, knowing look that is shared between various workmates when my deficiency is remarked upon. I choose not to be on facebook because of this bitchy childishness that is a requirement for membership. I hope being a member gives you a nasty virus.

jetl76 1:34 pm, 22-Nov-2012

Nick, you sound like mary whitehouse - "i hate a Facebookalthough ive never used it". Prannock. A really dumb article - if you dont like looking a pictures of peoples kids, dont look at them. Do something you enjoy instead.

Matt 1:41 pm, 22-Nov-2012

"It’s the raising the child that’s the important bit" Obviously sour grapes, as your parents clearly didn't bring up a charmer, did they?

ebaneezer nortey 1:58 pm, 22-Nov-2012

Agree with everything written here! One culprit on my fb feels teh need to declare any time her baby has shat himself, vomitted etc lovely stuff

Jake 2:46 pm, 22-Nov-2012

you obviously don't have kids

Popeye 3:31 pm, 22-Nov-2012

Most people would simply click "unshow stories on timeline", but you choose to write this shite. Well done.

Ben McAleer 4:10 pm, 22-Nov-2012

Fucking ace!

Jaff 4:38 pm, 22-Nov-2012

I posted a similar status about this and it got a personal record number of likes, more than when I passed my driving test. I have deleted most of the offenders, but the fact is you cant always escape these bastards, they just infiltrate your timeline.

The Baron 6:03 pm, 22-Nov-2012

jetl176, are we to take it that you DO like looking at pictures of other peoples kids?

Robin lee 7:05 pm, 22-Nov-2012

This article is very good, and it is obvious that most people agree and the ones that don't are the nobheads mentioned in the article.

charlie 9:37 pm, 22-Nov-2012

Oh it's all true. I have pictures of my baby with a beer. I truely am a cunt. So I left Facebook because I knew the vast majority of my friends did not give a fuck what colour top the kid wore that day. Now I am on Path with one friend, the wife, and we put photos up all day long. Today we're racking up lines of flour in front of the kid to make it look like it's had its first white lines, hilarious shit!!

Nick 1:46 am, 23-Nov-2012

Jetl76 - where did it say I had never used Facebook? I was a member once, and the pointless shit I had already mentioned above was the reason for leaving it. I had been a member for a few days when some bloke poked or fingered or prodded me wanting to be my friend. Apparently I shopped in the same Sainsbury's local one Sunday and he thought i'd be interested in his honeymoon photos. And what is a prannock? It's not in a dictionary or on Wikipedia. I looked it up. Bell-end isn't in there either, probably because they had no pictures of you and your family to display alongside it.

Blah blah blah 2:46 am, 23-Nov-2012

Blah blah blah. Not original, trying to be as offensive as possible. Blah blah blah.

Dan Hayes 4:19 am, 23-Nov-2012

I genuinely feel sorry for the author. It's not too late to change your life: maybe take a day off and go for a walk in the countryside. Anonymously posting badly written Frankie Boyle outtake rants about babies is no way to spend the only life you will ever have.

Howard 10:51 am, 23-Nov-2012

What Robin Lee said.

Madame Sheath 12:49 pm, 23-Nov-2012

Loved this article, though should have read it post-breakfast due to vaginal slime references. Epic. One small point, there is an implication that the offenders are female ‘Producing a baby is no achievement ladies’. I have defriended just as many blokes as women for having their kids either as their profile picture or spaffed all over their facebook page doing ‘funny’ stuff.

myleftboot 2:20 pm, 23-Nov-2012

Take it the off didn't work you miserable fucking jags? Bet your former face book friends thought you were a property Seville, and are glad you are not secretly spaffing sterile man juice over Amstrads ironic bikini pics

Tabs 10:30 pm, 23-Nov-2012

I'm in total agreement. And don't get me started on the dickrods who post pictures of their kids' shitty nappies.

mud19 11:43 pm, 23-Nov-2012

I agree and I have been saying this for ages

. 12:36 am, 25-Nov-2012

It's not just women who do this...

'arrysfatwallet 7:03 am, 25-Nov-2012

Hmm - just a cautionary note - "Fuck you and your baby" is probably not a great choice of expression in the current climate.

Jaff 5:47 pm, 25-Nov-2012

Just noticed this, and i'm ashamed how long its taken but; Simon Quinlank, have you drunk your weak Lemon drink now, or have you saved it for later?

Dr. Francis Pat st. John 2:22 pm, 16-Jan-2013

Nail. Head. Nuff said.

RandomGuy 6:35 am, 29-Jan-2013

Ha ha this article was hilarious and so true! there's a girl on my facebook that I knew from high school days that posts new photos of her baby pretty much every single day!, It was cute at first but now it's just annoying as fuck! especially since she was a shameless whore back in the day I guess now shes trying to show the world shes a 'respectful housewife' type... it's like WOW another random dick injected itself into you but this time you didn't abort you shitted out another living turd into the world - congradu-fucking-lations!! now get the fuck over it---

Jillian 1:53 pm, 7-Feb-2013

I no longer allow myself on facebook after wine time for fear of making very similar comments on the facebook feeds of newly "happy" (terrified, miserable, tiered, stuck with their lot) families. I've only just blocked everyone who's devoted more than 1 status to the seating plan at their wedding, now with the babies!

Stew 2:00 pm, 7-Feb-2013

I post pics of my kid. It's better than everyone seeing pics of me.

Smithy 2:36 pm, 7-Feb-2013

If you're the kind of person who collects facebook friends as some sort of show of how popular you are, then don't complain if some of them post bobbins you're not interested in. If these people were your actual friends, you would be interested.

wyla 2:36 pm, 7-Feb-2013

Facebook and die you f*cktards

CJ 3:09 pm, 7-Feb-2013

I post pictures of my new baby, regularly. I live in another country to all of my family and we live 5 hours from my partner's. Posting photos allows all family and friends to see our daughter. Her photo is my profile picture and cover photo (shock horror) simply because I'm proud of my baby girl. If this offends anyone I'm friends with they can, quite frankly, get f*cked. They have 3 choices; remove me from their timeline, delete me, or, if they're too damn stupid to work out how to do that, they can send me a message and I'll make the deletion for them. Finally, they can kiss my arse. And so can you.

J D 3:47 pm, 7-Feb-2013

Like CJ I use Facebook to keep friends and family who aren't nearby updated on my family, which, by the way, they actually care about - must be a strange concept for you! Although I'm sure you'll get some sad satisfaction from people commenting on this article, even if they are disagreeing with you, I can't ignore such a pathetic rant from a clearly sad and angry individual! You refer to a baby as a "blank canvas" like that's a bad thing - that's kind of the fascination of a baby and, as you later say that parents should be proud of raising them rather than creating and giving birth to them? Well surely the progression of "blank" baby to well-behaved child is why we are posting continuous posts?! You say that scan pictures are of babies before they are even alive - you are clearly a moron - the whole point of scans is to check that they are living, checking heart beat and organs! And yes we sometimes have our children as our profile - you say parents shouldn't do this as, "You aren’t your baby. Your baby isn’t you." - well, I assume you haven't heard of genetics?! In short, you are a moron if you truly believe in what you wrote, unless it was just an attempt for attention or a desire to be confrontational- either way I'd say it says a lot about your own life! I would urge you to remove from Facebook anyone whose life you aren't interested in - you clearly don't care one bit for them and should therefore not class yourself as a friend! I'd be really intrigued to know what you post on Facebook which you deem more valuable than someon's pride for their children!

Andy 4:27 pm, 7-Feb-2013

Didn't read the article, too busy looking at the picture of the baby! What cutie! Aaaah bless.

Kim s 5:04 pm, 7-Feb-2013

How old are you like 15?! facebook is a social networking site, intended for the purposes of keeping in touch with family and friends, not perving on sluts in skimpy clothes, they are not real women u dirty little boy! How can u say a scan picture is not of a living being?! did u fail science or have you just not covered that subject yet?! I think anyone who isn't interested in having children is missing out on such an amazing, natural part of life, a bond you will never experience. I post pictures of my child for my friends and family to keep updated on her progress, a luxury they probably wouldn't get without facebook. And guess what? my child is polite, well mannered, behaves in resturants, eats her veg, and will no doubt with my guidance become a much better person in society then you clearly are. Narrow-mindedness springs to mind. I will agree that some people post way to much of their children, and some photos are just inappropriate, and yes, there may be a few who have nothing better to do then update on their child's latest nose picking session, but do not tarnish those who post pictures of their children with the same brush.

SF 8:01 pm, 7-Feb-2013

Hilarious! After a hard day's work I came home, logged on, first photo? someone's grandchild doing nothing other than staring at the camera. second photo? someone with a baby they'd just produced (apparently this hasn't been done before); third photo? someone's fucking cat; fourth photo? somebody's fucking cat with a baby they'd just produced. I am a mother of 3 so no sour grapes for me. all the bitchy comments above must be from people who have posted photos of their ugly babies doing jack shit and feel a bit ashamed. get a fucking life people.

CJ 8:45 pm, 7-Feb-2013

I don't feel ashamed at all for posting photos of my baby. If you don't like YOUR friends posts, delete them. It really is very simple.

Jenni 2:07 am, 8-Feb-2013

I used to hate babies too until I had one. Now I like them more than grownups. Grownups are rubbish, I'm sick of seeing pictures of grownups' faces posted on Facebook.

Adella 4:50 am, 8-Feb-2013

Simply amazed at the amount of angry parents here. Oh, are you all butthurt because the truth hits too close to home and your tiny precious snowflake of a twat-dropping isn't blessing every person who unintentionally beholds its pudgy visage via the web? How sad and unfulfilling for you.

RD 1:42 pm, 8-Feb-2013

this is the finest thing I've read in months. round of applause

Rik 11:05 pm, 8-Feb-2013

Most of you ranters will change your tunes when it comes to your turn. You can't understand cos you don't know how it feels and so I don't blame you. But perhaps you should humour us cos one day we'll have to put up with the same.

Sedge 4:59 pm, 13-Feb-2013

Can the opinionated cunt that wrote this article show us what his/her photo is of please? I don't know what it is of, if he/ she is in it (might be a beach in Thailand.....) or if they are a)ugly b)boring c)badly dressed d)a member of my family but if we are being total cunts about things that really aren't even worth mentioning let alone ranting about I'd quite like the chance to tell him/her what a pointless turdface he/she is and why he/she should die slowly etc etc

Sarah 7:28 pm, 13-Feb-2013

So photos of their dinner and status updates about every trivial thing that happens in their day is fine for your friends to share with you, but not the life-changing arrival of a child? Can't understand that. If you don't like the photos, don't look; facebook news feeds are often full of shite, only now instead of those photos of people indecently exposed and drunk, it's an entirely new phase of their life. Get. Over. It.

Robert 11:16 am, 14-Feb-2013

Agree with the previous comments, the reason you don't want to see these pictures is that your Facebook 'friends' aren't your actual friends, so you have only yourself to blame. I don't have kids, by the way.

dorris 9:36 am, 18-Feb-2013

Apparently this is a fine article. 'The finest thing I've read in months' coos one RD in the post above. I suggest yo ubuy youself a fucking book you stupidd little cunt. I presume that misuse of an apostrophe in the words 'its' is a 'typo' and not something that reveals the poster to be a poisonous semil literate little twat who 'wittily' calls him/herself an 'anonymous ranter'. I don't have a Facebook account either. I hate it. Nonethless, this bit of toss reveals a lot more about its author than it does about anyone who's lives as so dull that all they seem to do is post pictures of their children on that site. It's a bit fucking fail.

Rob 12:55 pm, 26-Feb-2013

Brilliant article - just reminded me there is plenty of worthwhile stuff to read on ST.

sapphire nicholls 9:11 am, 19-Mar-2013

Really ? am i the only one and yes a mum that thinks this article is not very nice. The only thing i agree on is pics of babies drinking beer yes the parents are cunts, but as for all babies being the same well no...every baby is unique, every child brings hope...what you think of ugly baby could be the most beautiful to those parents...every photo that gets put up is because a parent is PROUD & loves their child more than life itself ( in most cases )...This comes across like it is written by someone who has never experianced their own baby..never held their baby for the first time the rush of love that comes with all of that desired or not. Each to their own of course but very anti babies to a very distasteful point ? Maybe its just me ? xx

liv 4:44 pm, 28-Mar-2013

Only stating what everyone is thinking. Well, besides those bores that stick the photos up there in the first place evidently.

40 6:12 pm, 12-Apr-2013

BEST Article I have EVER read. seriously could not have said it better myself! Kudos to you my friend!

JabSmith 6:07 am, 22-May-2013

Crude but spot on. Every day I feel the need to post, "I am still childless, look at me, I'm cheating nature's Grand Plan. I'm not so self-obsessed that I need to clone myself and further this planet's limited resources." But I don't. Oh and Dorris: pot calling the kettle black? Were you squeezing out a fanny turd while typing that?

Wentworth 9:29 pm, 25-May-2013

Proud new parents will always lose that sense of perspective. Sadly it really isn't anything remarkable to anyone but the immediate family. My advice when you get sent a pic of some genetically unrelated "bundle of fun" is do what we all do - a)pretend you care, b) send the standard "Congratulations!", c)hope that's the end of the matter, and d) hope it doesn't grow up to look like the mother.. 9:06 am, 19-Jun-2013

All of this makes me laugh. Facebook is using your personal data in any way it benefits them to a point even government agencies have got access to that data and what do people worry about? The profile pictures of babies. Sure that is something to worry about.

Anna 9:20 pm, 19-Jun-2013

Love it!

tom 5:00 pm, 27-Aug-2013

Whats there to be angry at? He's just saying the truth! Well balanced too. Its really sad that a lot of you don't see it! I love my son, and a photo here and there is fine. Great article, you guys complaining are pathetic.

Michael 1:44 am, 15-Sep-2013

Oh please piss of you wankers who say "I'm not asking you to look at my photos". What a pile of fecking shite! Facebook facilitates the most nauseating look-at-me-ism. Why can't you just send the fucking photos to people that want to see them, like annoying self-indulgent mothers who are also your mates on Facebook!

bumblelizard 3:32 am, 21-Sep-2013

to everyone else here who agrees with the OP, good for you. i couldnt be happier to know im not the only one who CANT STAND it when people have nothing better to do then spam the internet with pics of their shitty-butt babies. theyre not cute to anyone but you and your families. to all the hundreds of other people who have to see the thousands of stupid pics of your drooling blob, they couldnt care less, and i think most of the newborns are ugly. red faced, alien-looking, nasty little things. no one has any interest in seeing them. nor do people want to know what youre doing every second of the dont need to post a pic of every meal you make, if your pet does something stupid, if fart and shit your pants...just shut the fuck up. youre just as bad as the baby people. your baby is fucking annoying, and no one cares anymore. got knocked up, had a kid, now shut up. we're sick of seeing the stupid thing

Beene 3:27 am, 25-Sep-2013

I'm so glad someone said what I've been wanting to say for so long. I love every word.

Sophia B 3:34 am, 25-Sep-2013

Sapphire Nicholls - Yes, you ARE the only one. You my dear, are exactly the type of person that this article is written about. I agree that the article is severe and incredibly harsh. Is this what it takes for parents to realize how unwanted and annoying their child fb posts are? Sadly, yes. I've had to hide half of my friends list due to their baby photo posting. And that sucks! Because I used to actually like them before they became parents.

Juliet 11:46 am, 5-Oct-2013

This is a horrible, mean-spirited, pathetic article. Why couldn't you have saved yourself the ten minutes it took you to write if and just had a wank or gone for a walk instead?

Mr 6:00 pm, 5-Oct-2013

My Facebook nowadays is trim, the people who post stuff that annoy are swiftly ignored and don't get to my newsfeed. I personally would refrain from plastering my kid all over it just on account of who might try and grab the pics. Wasn't there a story quite recently of a company just grabbing baby pics from Facebook and using them for ads? Also, a bit shady on the kid if you think about it, they don't get a say in the matter of their mugs being webbed into the houses of a few hundred relative strangers.

Some Guy 2:58 am, 6-Oct-2013

Brilliant. Hats off!

Some Guy 3:07 am, 6-Oct-2013

Even more annoying are the lame comments from females that accompany the post such as "awwwww hun", "beautiful" and other pathetic doting phrases. I find that the best way to make it stop is to suggest that paedophiles might be gaining excessive enjoyment from pics of their new born. That'll do it.

Danny 1:43 pm, 7-Oct-2013

I genuinely don’t mind seeing photos of my friend’s babies on Facebook. If they’re a good friend, it shouldn’t bother me. What I really fucking hate though are photos of cats. I’m not interested in an endless stream of photos of your stupid fucking cat lying around the house. I block that shit straight away.

mr. agreement 10:20 pm, 13-Oct-2013

I loved reading this article. I couldn't agree more. I was starting to feel a little guilty about my anger towards friends posting pic after pic after pic after pic of their kids - especially considering that I actually LIKE kids - but now I know my feelings are not unfounded. There is nothing wrong with sharing a cute photo every now and then. All parents do that, myself included. But when your profile pic is your kids, when the only way you update your status is with pics of your kids (worse if on a daily basis), etc etc etc, something IS wrong. Anyway thanks again for the article and for letting me vent!

Jonah 8:51 pm, 17-Oct-2013

While baby pics are annoying, what is even worse are the 'My son/daughter/dad/mother/sister/brother is the greatest thing on earth. Like and share if you agree' FUCK OFF

Bay 11:36 am, 25-Oct-2013

Try telling them up front instead of being lame, passive aggressive little bitches who have to write snide comments about it under anonymous names.

Ygritte 4:04 am, 2-Nov-2013

"Look how my life is progressing in accordance with conventional expectations" YES! THIS! A thousand times exactly this.

Max 4:29 am, 8-Nov-2013

facebook is a pile of steaming fetid shit baby photo's or no baby photo's although baby photo's would just make it all the more nauseating, to all you stinking mums and dads who think your snotty nosed brat is so special, well i'm here to tell you your miserable dna that you have craped out aint soecial at all,7 billion people, we breed like blowflies, now take sumatran tigers, perhaps 100 left in the wild, now they are precious!!! end of fucking story!!!

codybeans 5:46 pm, 6-Dec-2013

I guess naked whores with thier twat lips hanging out and fat ugly hairy chested frat boys chugging on a keg is supposed to be more interesting than one of your long last classmates posting a pic of thier newest baby? The twat that wrote this is an idiot. Your tits probably hit the floor when you remove your bra and your ovaries are perhaps all dried up because of vaginal cancer brought on by a plethera of std's. You fucking cunt.

Kathryn 3:28 am, 10-Dec-2013

This article is ignorant geez ! Having children is because we are supposed to and that's kind of why we are all here ? To have children ? Not all of us can have children !!! What are we supposed to do ? Geez

Cup Of Shit 6:35 pm, 12-Dec-2013

Kathryn, you completely missed the fucking point. Go die in a hole you "offended not all of us!!!1!" cunt. Also, brilliant article, I keep my facebook friends on minimum (under 30) so I don't see any fucking bullshit or even vaginal turds.

Proud Mommy 4:32 am, 14-Dec-2013

If You Don't Like The Fact That Parents Put Pictures Of Their Kids Up On Facebook Let Alone The Last I Checked This Was A Free Fucking Country Its My Facebook Profile My Page If You Don't Like What I Have To Put On My Profile Page Don't Fucking Look At It I Have A Beautiful 5 Year Old Daughter I Love Her That's My Pride And Joy Also Pregnancy Is A Beautiful Thing Thats Still A Child Growing Inside Their Mommy That Picture Is Called An Ultrasound That Unborn Child Is Still A Little Human So If You Don't Like What Parents Put On Facebook On Their Profiles Don't Have A Fucking Facebook Delete Your Account If It Pisses You Off That Bad

jc 4:22 pm, 18-Dec-2013

Posting pics every once in a while when you have a photo that really is particularly cute is fine. I have friends, however, who post a pic daily from birth of their kid doing absolutely nothing. Sleeping, just sitting there drooling. "3 weeks old today!" "First yawn in the evening!" "Sleeping!" "Sleeping at 9 weeks!" "Here she is again... sleeping!" How is it that otherwise intelligent people turn to complete mush after having a kid? Weird.

Chris Horner 2:09 am, 22-Dec-2013

People who say "you obviously don't have kids" can shut the fuck up. My sister has 2 kids and her profile picture is of her. That phrase is used by cunts with no argument.

Ex animo 10:53 am, 15-Jan-2014

OMG i hate parents, as soon as they find out she's pregnant, both parents get brainwashed and become slaves controlled by their fucking baby, all of them! When i was little i thouht i'd live a normal life and have a kid or two BUT NO! I hate kids now, i hate parents i don't ever want to become like that!!!! It's horrible! 'Fuck you and your baby!' LOL perfectly said! Also, kids are like farts, you can only stand your own.

leaveifyoudontlikeit 4:28 pm, 19-Jan-2014

if you dont agree then get the fuck out of here. we dont want to see your ugly fucking baby.

SnickersG 12:24 pm, 24-Jan-2014

We have face book to share what goes on in our lives. If people want to post pictures of their kids then thats fine because that is what is going on in their lives, that is what their thinking and what they want to share! I do not have kids but I put up pictures of my boyfriend and I and my puppy occasionally because thats whats up with me and it updates my friends ad family world wide who do care and are intersted. When I have kids I will do the same for them. I have several friends who fill my page up wit their partying, drinking, and wild single life. Not the best to look at every day but I put up with it and i care because they are my friends and their lives interest me. I expect the same from them about my posts. Also, I make a point not to keep people on my friends list if I really don't care what goes on in their lives. So if you really have all these annoying posts invading your timeline that you do not care about I suggest weeding out your friends list to the people you DO care about. Unless of course you do somehow feel the number of friends you have regardless of their meaning to you relates to your popularity then deal with the post you don't care about. Also, no one has mentioned this but there is an option that allows you to "unsuscribe" so a friends constant posts wont reflect on your timeline. I do enjoy the pictures that my friends with kids put up. They are not all the same and all the kids may not nessicairly be doing something intersting but I find it cute and I care so I put up with it. If you don't like kids all of them will look the same. I don't like going out so all partying pictures look the same but of course they have different meaning to whoever posted them. Same goes for all the health nuts, relationship fanatics (like myself lol), religious gospel and whatever else is out there that probably means a good deal to someone, someone you have declared a friend on social media.

Terry 6:49 pm, 19-Feb-2014

If you don't like those baby pictures then block them & having a baby not always easy for some.people I bet when you have a baby you will share lots of baby pictures my husband does sometimes.

tired 9:27 pm, 21-Feb-2014

U agree with this ad? Me too! There's this one girl on my page who takes 10 pictures of her kid within 15 seconds and makes them into an album....The pics are all exactly the same....dumbfounded clueless look on the kid and the only difference is him facing a different direction. One damn pic is enough! Tomorrow is her kids 1st birthday....she has made a status update every hour for a countdown.....I love kids don't get me wrong but this is excessive! Bravo to the writer. The truth only hurts cause it should.

Helmet the Third 10:24 pm, 26-Feb-2014

Brilliant article, what inspires people to post 4 million pictures of their children on facebook? To me, all my friends newborns look like some sort of shrivelled pastry based item of bakery product, only less appealing and more boring. Why the hell they think that a picture of their child wearing nothing but a soiled nappy and holding half a length of broken hosepipe would be a good thing? All I see in my newsfeed is constant baby pictures, who, incidentally, are all ugly as sin.

Helmet The Third of London 10:29 pm, 26-Feb-2014

Brilliant article, what inspires people to post 4 million pictures of their children on facebook? To me, all my friends newborns look like some sort of shrivelled pastry based item of bakery product, only less appealing and more boring. Why the hell they think that a picture of their child holding a half length of hosepipe is appealing to anyone? By the 10 millionth picture that shoves itself into your newsfeed, you sit there and curse yourself for having grown a small amount of hatred towards them, albeit not the babies' fault but I dare say in 20 years time that baby will be posting a picture of its newborn child, probably covered in some sort of intergalactic womb fluid on a hospital bed on Jupiter, or wherever we have advanced to by then...

Helmet The Third of London 10:31 pm, 26-Feb-2014

Oh and I forgot, I don't want to see a picture of your intestines with some sort of alien looking creature that barely resembles anything like a human inside your fat stomach.

Captain Awesome 5:48 pm, 11-Mar-2014

This is hilarious. Particularly so, because it generates butthurt, anally annihilated, rectally ruined, oriface obliterated, posterior pulverised, shitter shattered, pooper pained posts from weepy brown-eyed parents who can't handle the truth. There is more to you than your offspring. Don't give up on your own life while giving a new life to another... there are other things to talk about. Its the equivalent of going somewhere social, like a pub or club, and doing nothing but talking about your kids. For the record, that's annoying too.

Captain Awesome 5:51 pm, 11-Mar-2014

also, if you want to rid yourselves of this blight - go to GetRather and download it. It replaces baby pictures with random pictures of cats or whatever. It's not got a 100% success rate, but it works most of the time. You can click to show posts if you really want to see them (ie. you care)

Miles 8:56 am, 31-Mar-2014

I love this article. The thing that gets me the most is how many comments and likes anyone posting a pic of their baby on Facebook will get. It's like a collective hysteria. I posted a photo of myself punching a tramp in the face and I didn't get one single like!! Where's the justice?!

gal33 11:46 pm, 4-Apr-2014

spot on article - even if the language slight crude, but I love it! And am so glad I'm not alone in my way of thinking! Also, the "statuses" about "how my baby won some proyectile vomit contest all over me this morning" and shit like that is definitly NOT something we want to read about. The only time I like babies is when they turn 25.

cum 8:00 am, 9-Apr-2014

thank u random guy. someone sed it.

Krissykakes 3:25 am, 25-Apr-2014

I think parents need to realize that we don't need to see your kid on Facebook constantly. Yes, I would love to see little Timmy occasionally , but when you only post pictures of your child it's annoying and sad. Is that the only thing you have going on in your life? I did want to have kids. I changed my mind after seeing how being a parent took over my friends lives.

jc 7:45 am, 25-Apr-2014

In concept I have no issue with people posting whatever they want but some parents seem to lack a filter button. 26 - 26 times in one day one of my friends posted pictures of her kids and cat. Every time one of her 5 kids seneezes she announces it. Today there was a description of her child's post Chinese food bowel movement. Unless your kid shits gold nuggets or you have family members who study fecal cultures - NO ONE wants to know about the colour or texture of your kid's shit. The kid in question is 8 years old - so I don't even understand why she was looking at his crap to begin with. I have other friends once every few months they update a pic of their kids - I don't mind - I usually even comment the kid is cute. It's just the ones who take it to a whole other level. another friend, who is super douchey, believes photographing her kid constantly is a form of artistic expression she at least uses instagram to exhibit her doucheiness (despite her requests I have failed to join the folks who view her artistic works).

AJ 2:49 am, 6-May-2014


:p 9:50 am, 18-May-2014

Uuuuaagghh yes!! My husband and I have been trying to get me preg for a year and every time I see a pick of someone else's baby: f**k you! And your baby! Exactly.

Nics 7:04 pm, 24-May-2014

It does get extremely boring. So many of my FB friends have had babies recently and I don't want to delete all of them, or block all their stuff... so I generally just scroll past. But I've already seen and felt that obligation to comment (which I rarely give in to, a 'like' maybe if it's family or a very close friend). It just gets annoying and dull!!! Oh and I'm having great fun reading the comments. The mombies rising to this article are hilarious. Keep those butthurt responses coming... lmao

Hellcat 11:44 am, 20-Jun-2014

I completely agree with this, and the parents arguing and getting annoyed in the comments section are just plain ridiculous. The writer is just being honest and truthful. Did you ever think why you post pictures of your child? It is not an achievement or something to be proud of. Anyone can have a child and if this is the only thing you have achieved in life, then you have led a very sad one indeed. Your refusal to accepts this fact and call anyone who points this out bitter and angry is just a defensive mechanism and you refusing to acknowledge the truth. Wouldn't you prefer to do something more meaningful with your life and have your child grow up being proud of you rather than showing everyone what you have made. Think about it. On a side note, some people lose their children and babies, and seeing baby photos on Facebook can be a very painful and upsetting thing, did you ever take that into consideration either? Plus there is also the danger aspect of posting baby/child photos, what about only predators and child pornography, you don't care about that either? Stop thinking of your child as a possession or achievement and start being a real parent. If you saw nude or semi-nude baby pics of yourself on Facebook, would you be happy. So sick of socially conditioned sheeple.

Nihaar 11:16 pm, 20-Jun-2014

This is great! Completely agree here although I still do sometimes find my self guilty of posting a picture of my kid every now and then. But, theres a solution to this! There are a few apps that are built for this use case specifically (like, allowing parents to share their baby's pics with just their smaller personal network and not with all their middle school, high school, college and work friends! Because not everyone cares about what your kid is doing each day.

Grim 5:55 am, 3-Jul-2014

I have no problem with baby pictures as long as it is not every day. They are fine if it is only every year or so. A little update now and again is nice. But I don't want to hear about what your kid is doing every damn day. It is your Facebook, not your child's.

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