Boob Jobs Aren't Just For Bimbos

Breast implants aren't just for glamour models, strippers and celebs. Here's my rousing defence of the boob job...
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Breast implants aren't just for glamour models, strippers and celebs. Here's my rousing defence of the boob job...

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For the last week or so I've kept my trap shut as assorted "reactionaries" have kicked off in the media and on the social networks about PIP breast implants. The gist of their arguments seems to be that if women are vain enough to get implants then they should not expect to have them removed on the NHS. Today I could bite my tongue no longer, as the latest fuckwit blethered on about women wanting big tits to get a man or a career and therefore it's their own fault if the implants explode and kill them.

Several of these people have been saying that if women had better self esteem they wouldn't feel the need to have ginormous tits and that we should all be happy with the way we were born. What I find both fascinating and repulsive is that most of the people making these comments are women.

Women who regularly bleach their hair, wear make-up, women - one of whom I know for a fact had a pretty extreme eating disorder in her youth - who spend a fortune on clothes, handbags, shoes etc etc to look the best they can. And yet they have the audacity to tell me that I was a vain, stupid bimbo because I had breast implants?

I didn't have them to get onto Page 3 or Stringfellow's pole, I had them because when I lost weight I lost all of my tits, so I had the smallest implants known to man inserted and paid a fortune for them. Luckily for me they are not the ones that are making headlines, but they just as easily could be and I too would be at the mercy of these sanctimonious bitches who claim sisterhood but hate all women.

Every time I went to that clinic I sat there with women who had all kinds of breast problems, but it was easy to spot the ones who had the biggest problem

When I was 14 I discovered a lump in my right breast. I was scared and terrified of having cancer so I stupidly said nothing to anyone for close to a year. My silly schoolgirl thinking was that I would rather be dead than walk around with one breast. In those days if you had a mastectomy there was no reconstructive surgery. Eventually I told my mum and the next morning we were at the Doctors and within minutes I was told it was a lymph node. Luckily for me it went away of its own accord so I had no surgery. My GP at the time said something that turned out to be really prophetic, he said 'you're one of those girls who will always have lumpy breasts'.

When I was 17 and living in London I got another lump, this time in the left breast. It was right behind the nipple and the size of a pea, again I was stupid and kept it quiet for longer than I should've done for the fear of it being cancer. My other thought was it that was just another lymph node and therefore no need to be making a big old fuss. I eventually saw a doctor who referred me to a breast specialist. This one wasn't a lymph node, and so the tests began. I must have the luck of the Irish cause it was a benign cyst and it was removed immediately. I was in hospital only a few hours and that was that for me. On that ward were several women who weren't so lucky, and the fear of breast cancer grew in me.

Around 10 years ago another lump came in my left breast, this one was different to all of the others, it was sore, it was deep inside the breast and it was making the whole breast hot and red. It seemed to flare up overnight almost, so there was no hanging about this time. I took a cab to St Mary's hospital and went straight to A&E. It turned out to be an abscess that was on the verge of rupturing.

Luckily for me I'd caught it just in time, and avoided any major repercussions. I was kept in hospital and the abscess was monitored and eventually drained of the most disgusting looking pus I've ever seen. I'd been given a huge shot of yummy morphine and I remember lying on the bed watching the doctor drain this thing using ultrasound. On the monitor I could see the abscess and looking down at my boob I could see the green yucky poison coming out.

Because I was off my tits (almost literally) I felt no pain and was just fascinated by the whole thing. For several weeks and months afterwards I was kept under observation by the breast specialist at St Mary's to make sure that it wasn't cancerous and that it didn't return. I can still remember how scared I felt as I went in to be told whether it was cancerous or not. At the back of my mind though was the thought that even if I had to have a mastectomy, I could have the breast rebuilt and this was a great comfort to me.

Every time I went to that clinic I sat there with women who had all kinds of breast problems, but it was easy to spot the ones who had the biggest problem. They were the women sitting there with headscarves on, they were the ones who seemed to be on first name terms with the nurses, they were the ones who had this 'look' in their eyes, a look I couldn't begin to explain. Brave, amazing women.

So anyone who says that women who get implants are vain, stupid, a drain on the nation's purse etc, think first you have no idea who you are judging

To hear these self-righteous bitches on Twitter and Facebook, as well as in the media, banging on about vain women getting implants when there are women out there with implants for a multitude of reasons makes me so angry! So five years ago I had my implants done. My surgeon - Mr Jan Stanek - was made fully aware of my history of 'lumpy tits' and he assured me it was fine to put these implants in. My GP also said there was no problem with having this work done. Touch wood, there never has been a problem with them - so far.

But that left breast, the one where the abscess was? Well that has been a problem. The abscess has returned twice and now, because I paid privately to have my boobs done, I am no longer eligible to have any treatment whatsoever on the NHS. As regards to the "taxpayer" footing the bill for our "vanity", well here's my take on that... The first time I got a lump - post boob job - I went to the breast clinic, the same one that had treated me 10 years ago, and they refused to even look at it because I'd had work done. They had the notes there, they knew this was something that was pre-boob job, but they still sent me away.

I ended up having to pay £2000 to get it removed privately. Mr Stanek did the surgery for free but the anesthetist and the hospital wanted paying! The second time was while I was travelling last year and again I had to turn to the private sector. So anyone who says that women who get implants are vain, stupid, a drain on the nation's purse etc, think first you have no idea who you are judging.

The whole point of these PIP implants is that the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency passed them as fit for purpose in the UK. The NHS have also used them in reconstructive surgery on a number of women. So here's a thought, how about all the women who were mis-sold these impure implants pay to get them removed themselves then sue the government to fuck for not doing their job in the first place.

Would that make you feel better? Or should these"bimbos" just leave them in their bodies and wait for them to explode? Shame on every single woman who has taken the stance that those with implants are 'getting what they deserve'.

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