Scientist have theorised that the male extinction won’t be happening for another 5 million years. If the female orgasm is still a mystery to men by then, we're all doomed...
Over the past few months there’s been a lot of chatter in the science world about whether or not the male gene is becoming extinct. The internet is filled with conflicting articles about the issue. Some argue that the extinction of males is inevitable and others argue for the other side.
When I first heard about this male issue, I must confess that the feminist in me didn’t really give a shit. Think about it, the Amazonian women seemed to have worked out okay without the annoyance of men, plus today we have sperm banks, meaning there’s enough jizz to keep civilisation going until we get bored.
But when I came across an article that suggested that the only way to save the male species is to teach them how to make women orgasm, I must say I was intrigued.
Men can be annoying chauvinist idiots at times, but if they could make all women cum, they would be annoying chauvinist idiots with the ability to please any female and I don’t think I’d mind sharing the earth with the latter kind of man so much.
The whole concept sounds easy enough, but man has been around for centuries upon centuries. In the past century alone, man has made a number of technological, medical, and scientific advances that have changed the landscape of the world but despite all of this, a lot of men are still baffled by the idea of a woman climaxing.
But are men always to blame for a woman’s inability to climax? I decided to speak to an expert about it. Coy Pink has married for 19 years, she has children and she reviews sex toys on her blog.
She believes that “women should take responsibility for their orgasms,” by responsibility she means, be honest, no faking.
Now I know a lot of men don’t like to accept this but I’m sorry to burst your bubble guys, women fake it, a lot. Not all women, but a lot of women, so that time that you thought you rocked her world, you probably didn’t. She was probably glad it was over so that she could kick you out or wait until you fell asleep so that she could do the job that you couldn’t.
“I personally, don’t feel that faking an orgasm serves any good,” says Coy. I can’t help but agree with her; after all, faking may apparently be killing the male race.
I went out and spoke to a few men and women about the idea that the female orgasm is the key to preserving humanity. Some expressed that if this were the case, “humanity is doomed”.
“If there’s a reason I can’t or won’t be able to have an orgasm (I’m too tired, I can tell it’s just not going to happen, etc), I’d rather be upfront with my partner.”
Still some women find this difficult to do. I went out and spoke to few men and women about the idea that the female orgasm is the key to preserving humanity. Some found the idea ludicrous and farfetched; others expressed that if this were the case, “humanity is doomed”. I asked both sexes about their sex lives, orgasms and fake orgasms.
Some of the men quoted science as their rationale for being unable to fully close the deal. “Some women just aren’t wired for that,” they said.
Others were honest, and admitted that they tried but sometimes it didn’t happen and they appreciated it when their partners were honest about it.
Then there were a few cocky pricks who were so sure of themselves that they insisted that I sampled what they had to offer. Naturally I declined, but I suspect that rejection wasn’t new to them.
All of the women I spoke to had faked it at least once; they believed that sometimes it was just easier than being honest. “If we didn’t fake it, men would give up,” said one of the women. Surely this can’t be true, men can’t give up, their existence depends on it!
Expert Coy believes that it’s all about finding the right person. “I am lucky to have a partner who is very interested in my pleasure,” she said. “He’s more than happy to do whatever it takes to get me off… no one wants to have a lazy lover so it would behove anyone who wants to have a satisfying sexual encounter, to choose someone who values their pleasure at least as much as their own.”
The thing I noticed when I spoke to all these men and women (apart from Coy) was that they didn’t realise that an orgasm cannot be given. To quote another sex expert Kristen Mark: “…no one gives you an orgasm. You have an orgasm. Although it may seem like a gift in its culmination of erotic pleasure, it’s yours.” In other words, an orgasm isn’t something that you receive, it is something that you possess.
“…no one gives you an orgasm. You have an orgasm. Although it may seem like a gift in its culmination of erotic pleasure, it’s yours.”
In today’s world, the idea of sex just seems far too technical, too medical, too scientific. If you Google ‘the female orgasm’ the results are scientific articles and how to guides. Where’s the fun in that?
Apologies to all the scientists out there but science can be pretty dull at times, and the only person that should be guiding any man is the woman that he is fucking.
The ability to orgasm means that men and women aren’t so different after all. The fact of the matter is that just because a man was able to come, doesn’t mean the sex was great. And just because a woman wasn’t, doesn’t necessarily mean that the sex was shit.
Coy highlights that “there are a combination of physical and mental components that need to line up before we (women) reach climax.”
Back in the day men didn’t even acknowledge or entertain the idea that a woman was able to orgasm. Today, not only are men aware of this, some men actually make the effort to ensure that women get as much pleasure as they can. This for me is a huge accomplishment.
As innovative as the idea of women teaching all men how to make all women orgasm is, it just doesn’t really sound realistic.
Now I’m not an expert on the female orgasm and I am not going to pretend that I am, but I am an expert on my orgasm. This is because my vagina, like all vaginas is unique in its own way. What I’m saying is, no woman can teach all men how to make all women climax, it is simply impossible. But as individuals, all women can teach the right man how to make her have her orgasm.
As for humanity, scientist have theorised that this extinction won’t be happening for another 5 million years. If the female orgasm is still a mystery to men by then, as long as there are robots that look like Michael Fassbender in Prometheus, fuck men, the female race can get by with robot Fassbender. We’ve all seen Shame, and there was nothing to be shameful about what was between his legs.
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